To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse
by Darknight Squire
Summary: When Ranma and Genma show up at the Tendo Dojo in their cursed forms, there's another person with them. It's Kinma, Ranma's older brother, who, partially thanks to the cursed spring he fell into, can outdo his fiancee Nabiki in moneymaking schemes!
1. Chapter 1 Here Come The Saotome Brothers

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz inc. No money is being made from their use in this work of fanfiction.

To follow the ten thousand yen horse

By

Robert K. Hackney

Chapter one: Here come the Saotome brothers

It had just finished raining in the Nerima ward of Tokyo. That was nothing unusual in and of itself, for it was the rainy season in that part of Japan. What was unusual was the sight of a teenage girl with red-hair tied in a pig-tail (rare in Japan-the red hair, not the pig-tail) being chased down the water streets by a giant panda (even rarer in Japan) that was carrying two backpacks over it's shoulder.

"No way! I don't want any part of this, you old fool!" the girl cried as she ran. The panda, heavy as it was, caught up with her and swatted her backside, sending the girl skidding towards the intersection.

The girl, however, turned as she skidded and, when she came to a halt, took up a battle ready stance. "Oh, so that's how you want to play, eh Pop?" The panda growled in reply, took up a similar stance, and swung at the girl. She dodged effortlessly and swung back at her furry opponent.

"I still say the whole thing sucks! The redhead shouted as she dodged and punched at the panda, "Picking my fiancée for me without even asking!" A small crowd had gathered to watch the scuffle, and jaws dropped when to everyone's surprise, the girl grabbed the panda's right forepaw, twisted around, and flung the exotic beast over her shoulder. The panda landed with a thud, knocking down a street sign underneath it.

The girl took several short breaths then picked up one of the backpacks the panda had dropped. "I'm going back to China now," she declared. "I don't care what you and my brother do."

As the girl turned away from the panda, somehow the street sign it had knocked over floated up and whacked the girl on her head. "Sorry about that, little bro," a mysterious voice called out, "but I'm wet and tired and I want a hot bath and at least one night on a dry futon. We can figure out what to do later."

The panda got up on it's hind legs-apparently it had only pretended to be injured-scooped up both the backpacks and the girl, then growled at the onlookers. The spectators, all suddenly remembering that they had business elsewhere, immediately dispersed.

Soun Tendo stretched out his arms as he went out to get the afternoon mail. This particular shower had lasted from early in the morning until fifteen minutes ago and he hadn't been outside all day. He hadn't been an especially active man since his wife died several years ago, but he hated to be cooped up inside.

The mail was the usual-the phone bill, the gas bill, the electric bill-nothing out of the ordinary-until he came to a postcard illustrated with a panda eating bamboo. He flipped it over and saw that it was postmarked "China."

"Am returning from training in China," read the postcard. Bringing both Kinma and Ranma with me. Saotome-kun."

Tears slid down the face of the longhaired mustachioed man as he read the last sentence. "At last, Kinma and Ranma are coming. And soon, very soon, Kinma and Ranma will both be here."

A nineteen-year-old woman with her chestnut hair tied back into a ponytail that hung over her shoulder was in the Tendo kitchen, stirring the soup she was cooking for dinner. She was about to lift the ladle to taste when all of a sudden she heard her father call her name. "Kasumi!"

Kasumi poked her head out of the kitchen. "What is it, father?"

Another girl, this one seventeen and with her hair in a short bob, was lying stomach down on her bed, reading a magazine. "Nabiki!" Soun's voice cried out.

Soun went through the house. He found his two older daughters, now he was looking for the youngest. "Akane!" he cried as he went from room to room. "Akane!" No answer.

"Blast it, where is that girl?

The girl in question was in the Tendo family dojo, dressed in a yellow gi bound at the waist by a red belt, her long blue-black hair held back in a thick ponytail. She breathed in and out as she laid the blade of her right hand on a pile of cinderblocks. Slowly, she brought up her hand and suddenly, without warning, smashed the pile to bits.

"Whew," Akane Tendo sighed as she stood up and wiped her forehead. "That felt pretty good."

"No wonder the boys all think you're so weird, Akane." Akane turned her head and saw her sister Nabiki standing in the dojo doorway.

"So what, she replied curtly." Not everyone thinks that the whole world revolves around-" she spat out the last word as though it were an obscenity-"BOYS!"

Nabiki crossed her arms and gave a smug smile. "Then I guess this news Daddy has won't interest you at all."

"A friend of your's is coming?" Kasumi Tendo asked. The three sisters were in the family dining room and kneeling down at the table with their father.

Soun Tendo nodded and smiled at his daughters. "Yes, Genma Saotome; we trained together in our secret art, just after Akane was born." The head of the Tendo household continued, "He will be bringing with him his two sons Kinma and Ranma."

The three sisters reacted differently to that last bit of news. Kasumi thought about how much extra she would have to prepare for dinner, Nabiki-who handled most of the Tendo finances-thought about how three freeloading houseguests would affect the family budget, and Akane was just plain angry about the thought of two teenage boys sleeping under the same roof as her.

"There's one more thing," Soun added, worming up to the subject. "If one of you girls were to marry either Kinma or Ranma, and carry on this training hall, then the Tendo family legacy would be secure."

The three girls all looked at each other. They dearly loved their father, but knew he wasn't exactly the brightest of men. Since their mother had died more than ten years ago, he had slacked in running the Tendo family school of "Anything-Goes" martial arts; in the past two years his only student was Akane. If not for the Swiss bank account and fifteen shares of Sony stock that had been the late Mrs. Tendo's dowry-and managed by Nabiki-the Tendos would have lost the dojo and been out on the street years ago.

"What are these two like?" Nabiki finally asked. "Are they cute?"

"Are they older than me?" Kasumi asked. "I don't like younger men."

"I don't want any part of this at all," hmmphed a grumpy Akane. "Besides, how do we know if they're any good?"

"Oh, they should be," Soun chuckled. "My friend has been taking his sons on a voyage of training around Japan for the past ten years; recently they crossed into China."

"Oooh, China!" Nabiki crooned.

"Who cares if they hiked all the way to China?" glowered Akane. "I bet I could beat them both up with one hand tied behind my back!"

"We'll soon find out," Soun smiled. "They'll both be here any minute!"

Suddenly, there was a knock on the entryway door, and some muffled high-pitched screams. "Oh, someone's at the door father," said Kasumi.

Nabiki was the first to get up and head for the door. "Oh, it must be Kinma and Ranma!"

"At last!" Soun cried as he got up and followed his daughter. Kasumi came after him, gripping the cross she wore around her neck and praying that at least one of the prospective fiancés was older than her. Last came Akane, staring down at the floor, not excited in the least to meet either of the sons of her father's friend.

"Saotome-kun, old friend-" Soun rushed towards the door, then stopped when it opened. At the door and walking straight into the Tendo hallway was a giant panda carrying a small person and three backpacks over its shoulder.

"So father, is this your friend?" asked Kasumi.

Soun shook his head franticly.

"Oh, so this panda just decided to visit, it that it?" sarcastically chimed in Nabiki.

The panda stared down at the humans for several seconds, then dropped the backpacks and placed the small person it was carrying right in front of them.

Soun looked at the person, who had red-hair. "You wouldn't be-

The red-haired person looked up at Soun and answered in a very high-pitched voice, "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."

Nabiki looked at Ranma. "He IS cute."

"At last you're here!" Soun cried out as he grabbed his future "son"-in-law into an enthusiastic hug-and backed away in shock. "You're-you're-"

Nabiki peered over at Ranma and ran her hand over two VERY ample mounds underneath the red Chinese shirt Ranma wore. "**'**He' is a girl."

Ranma blushed. "Please, I wish you'd stop that."

Soun blinked, then stared for several seconds. "A-a g-girl!" he cried out, right before he fainted.

Soun woke on the floor of the family dining room. His daughters and Ranma were kneeling over him with the panda behind them.

"This is all you're fault Daddy?" Nabiki looked down at her father. "Don't you know the difference between a boy and a girl?"

"Well, Genma told me he had two sons!" Soun shot back, then suddenly thought to himself: _Two sons?_

"Does this look like a boy to you?" Nabiki squeezed Ranma's right breast. "Does it?"

"Please, I wish you'd stop that." Ranma said in a low voice.

"Why don't you leave her alone?" Akane asked her sister. She was in a better mood now; learning that at least one of the boys was really a girl had cheered her up considerably. "A guest is a guest."

_Two sons._ Soun Tendo suddenly stood up and looked at Ranma. "Where's Kinma?"

Ranma looked down at the floor. "He'll be along shortly," she said, adding "he's already closer than you think."

Nabiki looked at Ranma. "'He' isn't a girl too, is he?"

"No." For some reason Ranma's face turned crimson. "Whatever else he is, Kinma's 100 guy."

Soun brightened up. "Good, then we'll be able to carry on our plans as we'd hoped!"

Akane looked at her father and shook her head, then at Ranma. She felt sorry for the girl; obviously the day had been rough on her. And the way Nabiki was fondling Ranma's chest certainly had made thing better. She walked over to Ranma and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hi," she said as the redhead looked at her. "I'm Akane, want to be friends?"

Ranma looked at her and nodded. "Sure.

The two girls stood facing each other in the dojo. "You study kenpo, right?" Akane asked.

Ranma nodded "A little," she said nervously.

"Well why don't we have a little match, then?" Akane got into a stance, then smiled as she saw Ranma squirm. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

Akane punched with her left. Ranma dodged to the right, then left at Akane's second punch, and jumped as the bigger girl gave a swirling kick.

Akane took several breaths. _Why am I missing her, _she wondered, _is she reading my moves? "_Alright," she declared, "this time I'm not going to hold back!" Akane pulled back her arm and swung hard-and her fist crashed into the wall.

"Huh?" Akane felt a poke at the back of her head. She pulled the fist out of the wall, turned and saw Ranma staring at her.

"Hahahahaha," The redhead laughed.

"Hahahahaha," Akane laughed as well. "You're pretty good. Is your brother as good as you?"

"Nah," Ranma said casually. "I've been nailing Kinma since I was seven and he was eight. He is pretty good with a bo staff though, and not bad at Kyodo. But unless he's got a weapon of some sort, you could beat him with one hand behind your back."

"Well," Akane shrugged, "I'm just glad that you're a girl."

"Huh?" Ranma asked as Akane turned towards the door.

Akane looked back at Ranma. "Its just-I'd really hate to lose to a boy!"

Ranma just stood there, staring as Akane walked out of the dojo. "You're going to have tell her sooner or later, little bro." a voice called from behind Ranma.

Ranma jerked her head around and saw nothing. "Oh Kinma, I hate it when you do that!"

While Ranma and Akane were having their sparring session, the panda got on all fours and walked towards the bathroom. Everyone else was busy; Kasumi was back in the kitchen, Nabiki was outlining the next month's budget, and Soun sat at the table, thinking of what to say when Kinma arrived. No one paid any attention as the big, bear-like cousin of the American raccoon entered the bathroom and got into the furo filled with hot water.

Ranma followed Kasumi to a small-unfurnished room at the far side of the upper floor of the Tendo household. "Here you go Ranma," Kasumi said, "You can use this room." Ranma sighed as she laid down two backpacks she was carrying. _For such a small girl she sure is strong_, thought Kasumi. "Now, would you like a hot bath before dinner?"

"Uh, no thanks," Ranma said, red coming to her cheeks.

"Please, I insist," Kasumi said as she handed over a bunch of towels. "You must be all sweaty from your workout."

"Okay," Ranma reluctantly nodded.

Ranma entered the bathroom, took off her clothes, and splash herself with a bucket of water. "Brrrr," she chattered through her teeth, "that's cold!"

Another bucket seemed pick itself up and upturn, the spilled contents formed a partial outline of a man. "Yeah, sure is little bro." The outline turnedit's head and even though it didn't show, Ranma was sure it was grinning. "Or should I say sis?"

"I'm warning you, Kinma, if you poke me like that girl Nabiki did, you're gonna be in a world of pain." Ranma snarled, holding up a fist.

"Okay, okay," Kinma held up his arms and backed away. Turning to the furo, he looked down and saw bits of black and white fur floating in the hot water. "Looks like the old man was here."

"Yeah and he's probably down explaining everything to them now." Ranma shrugged, then added. "C'mon, lets get normal."

"Alright, little bro."

Tears ran down Soun Tendo's face as the man across the table from him told his story. "So that's how it is."

The stranger nodded. He was an average height, middle-aged man, heavyset with muscle that was beginning to go to fat. He was dressed in a white gi and sports glasses. A white towel was wrapped around his head, perhaps to hide the fact that he had recently gone bald.

"How I suffer for you and your boys." Soun turned his head out towards the open sliding door that led to the family courtyard. "The path of a true martial artist is fraught with perils."

Ranma and Kinma sat across from each other in the furo. Ranma had now changed from a small busty redheaded girl to a medium sized well-muscled young man with black hair. Across from him sat a young man a little taller and somewhat heavier than him, his own hair tied back a simple ponytail.

"Well, you've had your hot bath Kinma," Ranma put in, "now what are we going to do?"

"Well, like you said, Pop's likely told them everything," Kinma said. "We'll figure out what to do from there."

"I don't care what you and Pop do, I'm going to find a cure!"

"Ranma, remember what the guide told us," Kinma said in what was meant to be a reproachful tone. "There is no known cure for what happened to us. We have to accept we may be like this for the rest of our lives."

"Easy for you to say!" Ranma turned his head from his brother. "When you get wet, you're still a guy!"

"Ranma," Kinma started then rested his head on his hand, "I feel bad for you. Really, I do. And I don't like this arranged marriage thing Pop told us about anymore than you. But if we stay here awhile, maybe-" his head lowered and his eyes began to water-"maybe we'll finally get to see Mom again."

"Yeah." Ranma lowered his head as well. "At least you remember her a little. When Pop took us on this training journey those years ago, I was so small, I can't remember her at all."

Kinma nodded, sharing a moment of empathy with his brother. "And Pop rarely talks about her. All he ever told me was the reason he took us from her on this training journey was to make men out of us."

Ranma snorted sardonically. "Great job he did there."

Akane came up to the bathroom. She'd gone for a short jog after her sparring session, thinking about the way the day had gone. She had just met someone better at martial arts than her; at least that person was a girl. She'd always prided herself in being a better fighter than anyone else, including the boys. But Ranma seemed more than willing to be friends and told her she was better than her brother. And Nabiki had shown some interest in the possible engagement; with luck she'd be the one marrying Ranma's brother.

She entered the changing room got out of her clothes. She began to place them in the hamper when she noticed two pairs of baggy black pants and two Chinese-style silk shirts. One was the red shirt Ranma had been wearing, the other dark blue. She wondered just who the other's shirt that was, then shrugged, grabbed a towel, and opened the door-

Ranma and Kinma began to rise out of the tub. "Might as well go out like we are," Ranma said nonchalantly.

"Yep," Kinma agreed. "Pops probably explained everything to them right about-" Suddenly the two brothers looked at the door and saw Akane Tendo standing there with only a towel covering her nakedness.

Akane closed the door to the furo, dressed into her jogging clothes, and stepped out into the hallway. Once she closed the bathroom door behind her, she let out a long, loud SCREAM.

Soun Tendo and the strange man looked up in surprise as Akane ran into the dining room, still screaming. The two men quickly grabbed they're drinks when she suddenly grabbed the table and and yelled "I'll drown them BOTH in the bathtub!"

Nabiki and Kasumi came into the dining room. "What's the matter Akane?" Kasumi asked.

"They are TWO perverts in the bathtub!" Akane roared back.

"Well gee, Akane, why didn't you just clobber them then?" asked Nabiki.

"Because I got scared. Is that all right?"

Ah, excuse us," a voice called from the hallway. The three sisters looked behind them to see two teenage boys wearing the clothes Akane had seen in the bathroom earlier. The taller boy spoke "I'm Kinma Saotome and this is my BROTHER Ranma. Sorry about this.

All seven people were now seated in the dining room. Soun looked at his daughters. "Perhaps we should start again." He motioned towards the bespectacled older man, "This is my dear old friend-"

"Genma Saotome." The stranger waved a hand at the two young men sitting next to him. "And these are my sons-"

"Kinma." The taller boy bowed his head. He looked somewhat like his father in the face including the sports glasses, but half a head taller and whipcord lean where Genma was heavy. His long hair was tied back in a ponytail.

"Ranma." The shorter boy gave his name. His hair was long like his brother's, but braided into a pigtail.

Kasumi looked at Ranma. "Are you really her? The same girl we saw before?"

Ranma's face clouded before he nodded. "I am."

Nabiki peered over at Ranma. "Are you a crossdresser?" Ranma's face turned red as Kinma suppressed a giggle. Nabiki then looked at the older Saotome brother. "And you? How did you get in the house and into the bathtub without us seeing you?"

"How do I begin?" Genma rubbed his chin. "Ah, I know." Before anyone could say anything he grabbed his two sons by the neck, and tossed them both out the sliding door-and into the koi pond.

Instead of Ranma or Kinma, however, a red-haired girl wearing the same clothes as Ranma emerged from the pond. "Whadya do that for!"

"Yeah Pop, that was rude!" Kinma's voice called out from next to the girl.

"Oh my." Nabiki said.

"Ranma's a-girl now," added Kasumi.

"And Kinma's-" Akane began, then stopped, "Where's Kinma?"

"I'm right here!"

"I think he's invisible," said Nabiki.

Genma walked out towards the pond he had just thrown his sons into. "I'm so ashamed," he cried out as his now-female younger son climbed out of the pond. "I cannot bear to see either of my sons like this." Suddenly some unseen force-Kinma-shoved his father, sending him smack into the pond.

"Who are you to talk?" the voice of the unseen Kinma cried out. The three Tendo daughters all gasped when instead of Genma the panda they had seen earlier emerged.

"Yeah," Ranma crossed, his, or rather her, arms across her chest. "Our old man's a panda!"

"Father, you certainly have some unusual friends," Kasumi said as the panda, began fighting with the girl and invisible boy.

"They didn't use to be like this," Soun insisted. "It was training in China that did this to them. Let us give them all a chance to come back to themselves and tell their story."

After the brief fight-and one quick hot bath-Genma and his sons were their normal selves and again seated in the Tendo family dining room. "It all began after Ranma's sixteenth birthday two months ago. We had crossed into China, and after three weeks, in the Quinhai province-

_"Here sirs," the fat man in the green Chinese Communist party outfit said in broken Japanese as he led his three customers, "we come to the famous training ground of cursed springs-or as it's called in my native tongue, Jusyenkyo._

_Genma Saotome looked at his two sons. Both were dressed in white gis like their father's and had just let down their back packs-although Kinma kept his bo staff._

_Ranma looked out at the training ground. It was basically a series of small springs with long bamboo poles sticking out. "This place doesn't look nearly as bad as I thought it would be."_

_"Oh, but it is," the guide interjected. "There more than one hundred spring here, and each have own tragedy happen-" Before he could finish, Genma jumped on top of one of the poles. "Kinma, Ranma, get up here!"_

_"Right behind you!" both Kinma and Ranma cried as they jumped up and landed on their own poles._

_"Sirs!" the guide cried out, "you have to listen! Very bad you fall in spring!"_

_The father and sons ignored him. "I won't go easy on either of you!" Genma cried out._

_"That's just how I want it!" Ranma shot back._

_Kinma hefted his staff. "Me too."_

_"Sirs! I must tell you-" the guide tried to call out then shook his head. His customers always had to learn the hard way._

_Genma leaped at Ranma and swung. Deftly dodging, Ranma sent a kick to his father's stomach. Genma flew backwards at his older son who quickly pitchforked his father with his staff, and sent him splashing into the spring below._

_"That wasn't so hard," Ranma said._

_"No, sure wasn't little bro," Kinma agreed, then looked down at the spring. "Pop? Are we done yet? Pop?_

_All of a sudden, a giant panda leaped out of the spring, and onto the pole between the two brothers "What the-what the hell is THAT?" they both cried out at once._

_"You send him into Spring of Drowned Panda." The guide called out from the ground. "There very tragic story of a panda that drown in the spring 2000 year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of panda! I try to warn you!"_

_The two brothers were so overcome with shock neither noticed the panda that had been their father jump and swing first at Ranma, and then Kinma, sending them splashing into different springs below._

_The guide walked first over to the spring where Ranma had fallen. A head emerged, with red hair tied back into a ponytail like Ranma's. "Ah too bad. You fall in Spring of Drowned Girl. Very tragic story, of young girl who drown in the spring 1500 year ago." Ranma gulped as he felt his chest. "Now whoever fall in the spring take body of a young girl."_

_Ranma carefully opened the top of his gi and gasped as he saw his new bosom. "See? Now you young girl!"_

"_Where am I?" a voice called out from the spring Kinma had fallen into. "WHERE am I? I can't see my arms!"_

_The guide looked in the direction Kinma's voice came from. "Oh, you fall in Spring of Drowned Invisible Man. Very tragic story, very tragic, of invisible man who drown in the spring 1250 year ago. Now whoever fall in the spring become invisible!"_

"_I'm-invisible?" Kinma's voice asked. The guide nodded. "Cool."_

Genma finished his story, and then looked at his hosts. Soun and Kasumi both had looks of sympathy, Nabiki amused indifference. Akane however seemed furious. What had made her so mad?

"The legendary Training Ground of Cursed Springs," Soun said flatly. "I've heard of it. It's true horror has always been shrouded in mystery until now."

"Whaddya mean 'true horror?'" Ranma said angrily. "What was the big deal, bringing me and Kinma to that place?"

Genma grabbed his son by the neck and picked him over his head. "Ranma," he said as he tossed his younger son a second time-"you sound like a GIRL!"

SPLASH! Into the koi pond went Ranma-kun, and out came Ranma-chan.

Genma just stood at the doorway, not caring to go out to the pond this time. "Where you not prepared to lay down your life for the sake of the Art?"

"My life yes," Ranma-chan said angrily as she got out of the pond, grabbed a bucket full of water, and ran towards her father. She leaped up and splashed Genma, activating his panda curse. "But not my MANHOOD!"

The two of them began fighting again. "You just had to take us to that training ground," Ranma-chan said as she dodged a punch, then sent one of her own, "even though you don't speak or read a word of Chinese."

Genma-Panda growled in reply, then suddenly yelped as Soun poured hot water from a teakettle onto him.

"So," Soun mused, "when doused with hot water you return to human form."

"Well, that was just a little too hot, thank you." A red Genma said weakly.

"When doused with cold water you become invisible-" Soun looked at a still-visible Kinma, then at Ranma-chan, "and you become a girl." He lifted the kettle to pour on Ranma. "But hot water turns you back into a boy."

Ranma-chan quickly dodged the pouring water. "Hot water, not boiling!"

Soun put the kettle down. "Well this was certainly and interesting day, wasn't it?" he chuckled, and then looked at his old friend. "Of course, there's still that other matter we have to discuss."

"Of course," Genma nodded. He looked at his sons and adjusted his glasses. "Kinma, Ranma, "I've spent the last ten years training the two of you. While you're both very good, Kinma, your brother is the better fighter-"

"I've known that since I was eight, pop." Kinma said in a voice that was more amused than jealous.

Ranma-chan smirked. "And don't you forget it!"

"-and because he is," Genma continued, "he shall be the one to carry on the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

"Oh I'm so happy!" Soun cried out as he placed his hand on Ranma-chan's shoulder. "Here," he motioned towards his daughters, "my oldest daughter Kasumi. She's nineteen. My middle daughter Nabiki; she's seventeen. My youngest daughter Akane; she's sixteen. Pick any one you want; she'll be your fiancée.

Kasumi placed a hand on Akane's shoulder. "Akane would seem the wisest choice."

"Couldn't agree more," added Nabiki.

Akane looked from one sister to the other. "Me? Why would I be-"

"Well, you hate boys," Nabiki said.

"Well you're in luck Akane. Ranma's half girl." Kasumi said.

"Well, it's settled." Soun then looked at Kinma. "And now there's you."

"Wha-" Kinma cried out.

"Yes," Soun nodded his head. "The agreement your father and I made was that there would be two marriages between our children. One couple would carry on the Saotome School and the other would carry on the Tendo school, and since your brother's the one picked to carry on your own family's school, that leaves you for the Tendo School. So pick which of my other daughters you'd like."

"I think Nabiki would be a good choice for him," smiled Kasumi. Nabiki looked at her sister with a look of shock and betrayal. Sure she thought Kinma was handsome in a rugged sort of way, but he looked more like his father than Ranma-which would mean when he got older-"No way."

Akane nodded in agreement. "No way I'm marrying that pervert!"

Ranma-chan glared at Akane angrily. "Hey, what do you mean pervert!"

"You saw me in the nude!" Akane then looked at Kinma. "You both did!"

"Hey! You walked in on us!" Kinma said angrily.

"Oh yeah? Well, it's different when a girl looks at a guy. Perverts!"

Soun and Genma just laughed. "They're already fighting like a couple!"

Akane angrily cried at her father, "He's a couple by himself!"

"Well, goodbye." Ranma-chan said as she walked towards the hallway.

"Ranma, where are you going?" Genma said in a stern voice.

"Back to China," Ranma shot back. "I have to find a way to change back for good. This is no time for fiancées."

"I'm coming with you," Kinma walked over to his female brother. "I don't care about getting cured like you do, but I'll try to help you. Besides, I'd rather do that than marry the stick-lady here," he glanced at Nabiki.

"And by the way," Ranma-chan said as she looked at Akane, "I noticed you took a pretty good look at me too. Besides, it's no big deal for me to see a naked girl; I've seen myself plenty of times."

"Yep. And my little brother's better built than either of you." Ranma-chan looked at Kinma, then the two started laughing. They laughed so hard neither noticed Akane and Nabiki pick up the table-until they brought it crashing down on their new fiances' heads.

Genma looked at the prostrate bodies of his sons and shook his head. "Now THAT they had coming."

End of chapter one

Authors note: In case you're wondering about the title: 'To follow' is one possible translation of Nabiki's name into English, while 'Kinma' means 10000 yen horse. At least I think it does. I don't really know Japanese; I'm relying on reference books.

I started this fic after readind several Ranma fanfics that had a Spring of Drowned Magical Girl, Spring of Drowned Pokemon, Drowned Chicago Cubs Player-but never one of a Drowned Invisible Man. So I figured, why not write one myself?(Of course, there could also be a Spring of Drowned IRS Auditer-wouldn't that be tragic?)

If you want a description of Kinma, he's a year older than Ranma, so he naturally remembers Nodoka better but doesn't know about the seppuku pact. He enjoys martial arts but doesn't have the same passion as his brother-that's why he's not as good, although he is a force to be reckoned with the Bo staff. And unlike Ranma he actually likes his curse-but then, being able to turn invisible would be pretty cool.

The first couple of chapters follow the basic story but start to diverge in the third. There will be other new characters besides Kinma and Ranma won't be the only one with multiple fiancées.

Kyodo: Japanese archery

24


	2. Chapt 2 School Is No Place for Two Horse

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. No money is being made from the use of said characters-though I wish I could.

Chapter two: School is no place for two horses to be fooling around

"School, Pop?" Kinma looked at his father. "On such short notice?"

Genma nodded. "We are going to be staying here awhile, and Tendo-kun's got some pull at the Furinkan High School board, so you're both transferred here."

Ranma rubbed his left cheek. After he and his brother came to the night before he went to the furo to change back-and found a very angry Akane just getting out of the tub. "Don't we get to have some say in this? Who died and made you boss?"

Nabiki and Akane entered the room; they were both dressed in their school uniforms. "Not that I care or anything," Nabiki said to Kinma dryly, "but Kasumi says that I have to walk you to school and Akane has to walk Ranma, since we're your-" she sighed out the last word, "-fiancées."

"Stop calling them that," Akane glared at her sister. "It's not like we're actually going to marry them or anything."

"My sentiments exactly, tomboy," muttered Ranma, who then looked at his father. "Besides, we don't have any school sup-" Ranma stopped in mid sentence as Genma thrust a pair of book bags (hey, the author forgot what they're called in Japan. Sue me) in front of his sons.

Nabiki and Kinma walked out ahead of their younger siblings. The middle Tendo daughter looked at her newly betrothed walking up on the canal guardrail with the ease and practice of a tightrope walker.

_He is good._ Nabiki had given up training in the martial arts years ago, but she still could appraise a person's ability. "Your brother's better than you, you say?"

Kinma nodded. "Ever since he was seven, Ranma's been able to get the best of me." There was neither envy nor false humility in the young man's voice, just a statement of fact. "Don't get me wrong-I'm not bad myself, and Pops trained me just as hard. But to Ranma, kenpo and karate aren't just sports or a pastime. They're his whole life. He actually practices ten hours a day."

Ten hours! Nabiki couldn't believe her ears. Akane didn't practice a quarter as much, and she was the only Tendo daughter serious about the Art. Ranma would most likely be a sensation on the professional kickboxing circuit-and he'd certainly need a manager-

"Of course, don't think you're going to try to make any money off of my little brother," Kinma broke into Nabiki's thoughts. "That job is taken." The smirk on his square jaw told her whom he'd thought had taken the job.

"Right." Nabiki asked him another question. "You said last night you don't particularly want to be cured. Why not?"

Kinma snorted. "Why would I? Sure, it can be annoying at times, and I have to stay away from crowded places or someone will bump into me, but hey. I can go anywhere without being seen, listen to any conversation and get the dirt on anyone."

"Not to mention peeping on girls while they're dressing or in the shower," Nabiki sneered

"Have no fear, stick-girl. No way am I gonna peep-"

Kinma's sentence was cut of by a slap on the head by none other than Genma, who came up behind him on the fence from out of nowhere. "Listen to me, boy," he glared at his son, "I've just had a talk like this with your brother. Neither one of you is in any position to be picky about women!"

"Oh yeah, pop?" Kinma cried out. Out of nowhere Kinma's Bo staff appeared in his hands. Genma swung at Kinma, only to be blocked by the staff, then suddenly caught off balance by Kinma's sweep between his father's legs and go SPLASH into the canal below.

"Well, Pop?" Kinma said. "Weren't you about to say something?" The dripping wet panda jumped out of the canal and struck at Kinma, who dodged or blocked all his father's blows, then with the grace of a circus acrobat, leapt off of the fence and landed next to Nabiki. "Boy you sure are off today."

Suddenly, from right behind the ponytailed martial artist, a splash of water hit him. Turning around, Kinma saw an old lady watering her front lawn with a bucket and ladle.

"Geez," was all the invisible Kinma could say.

"Well, come on," Nabiki urged him, "there's nothing we can do right now. Wait until we get to school, then I'll get some hot water."

"Here, give it to me," Kinma muttered as the hot water from the kettle missed him for about the third time. He and Nabiki were in the Furinkan High School gym room, and his reluctant fiancée had managed to get a hold of a teakettle from the teacher's lounge.

Nabiki gasped as the kettle disappeared from sight-then all of a sudden turned visible again along with a somewhat wet Kinma.

"H-how did that-"

"When I'm invisible, anything I touch turns invisible as well,"" Kinma explained, then added "Didn't you wonder why my clothes disappeared?"

"I see." Nabiki fought regain control of herself. The events of the day before and this morning had startled her more than she let on. She was the Ice Queen of Furinkan High, bookie and extortionist extraordinaire. It simply wouldn't do for people to see her shocked.

The two made it to room 2-B, Nabiki's-and now Kinma's as well-home room on the second floor. Kinma glanced around. It was a lot like the rooms at his and Ranma's old school before the ill- fated trip to China. The only difference was that there were girls present here-it had been an all boys' school.

_Not that Ranma would fit in there right now, _Kinma mused to himself. He wondered how his brother would fare once his curse was found out. And knowing how chaos followed Ranma, it very likely would.

Something else caught his attention. "Excuse me," he inquired of a student, "I've just noticed-there aren't very many guys here. Where are they?"

Kinma's new classmate took him to a window overlooking the school courtyard. "Some of them are down there," he told Kinma, "along with a bunch of other idiots from other classes."

Kinma looked down and saw about fifteen to twenty young men, dressed invariably in karate gis, ruby or baseball uniforms, or ordinary school uniforms huddled near the gate, as if they were waiting for something. He adjusted his glasses. "What are they waiting for?"

The other boy smiled. "You'll see soon enough."

Ranma and Akane bolted towards the Furinkan High School gates, as fast as their legs could carry them. An argument with Ranma's father on the way had caused him to get splashed. Not wanting to start his first day at his new school as a girl, Ranma went with Akane to the office of the local doctor Tofu Ono and managed to get a hold of some hot water.

"Now get out of the way Ranma," Akane said testily.

"Why?" Ranma asked-then all hell broke loose.

Kinma Saotome eyes stretched to saucers behind his glasses. "Why are they attacking-."

The other boy, whose name Kinma learned was Kiroshi, let out a sigh. "Because they want to DATE that girl."

Kinma looked again at the sight below. Akane was plowing her way through the mob of lovesick suitors, clobbering everyone as she headed for the school doorway.

"Hey Ranma," Nabiki had called out to the younger Saotome brother, who was crouching on the school way, "better get a move on or you're gonna be late."

Ranma looked up at Nabiki, and then pointed to Akane. "But I-but she-"

"Don't worry, she does this every day."

_Every day? _Both Saotome brothers thought in amazement, _She's much better than I thought._

Akane reached the school doorway, breathing heavily after she knocked out the last of her suitors. "Honestly," she said, "you'd think they would have all learned by now."

Clouds were beginning to form in the sky. "Heh, hehe," a voice chuckled from behind a nearby tree. The owner of the voice stepped out, and Akane groaned.

"Truly a boorish lot." the speaker continued. He was a tall slender young man about Kinma and Nabiki's age, with short brown hair and dressed in the baggy uniform of a kendoist. In his right hand was a wooden practice sword, or _bokken._" They were all trying for the pleasure of your company-if they could defeat you that is."

Ranma looked down at Akane. "Boy, you sure are popular with the guys here."

"You there!" Ranma stared at the kendoist, who was pointing his bokken at him. "You're being awfully familiar with Akane!"

"No, that's not it!" Ranma answered

"He's just staying with us!" put in Akane.

"Staying with the Tendos!" The enraged young man shouted. "Under the same roof as Akane? I'll not allow it!" He swung at Ranma, who deftly dodged and flipped through the air, then landed next to Akane.

"Listen," Ranma said, "if you want a girl who's more likely to kill you than kiss you, you can have her!"

"Why you-" Akane picked up Ranma's schoolbag, which he'd dropped and threw it at him. Ranma dodged again, and the bokken-welding man sliced through it.

"And who may I ask, are you to insult Akane Tendo?" the kendoist asked. "Wait-is it not the custom to give one's own name first? Very well, mine I shall give." He struck a pompous pose. "I am the rising star of the high school fencing world. My name strikes terror in the hearts of my enemies. My peers call me-" he raised his bokken on high and as if on cue, lightning flashed through the sky-"the Blue Thunder Of Furinkan High!"

"You guys really call him that?" Kinma asked Kiroshi in disbelief.

Kinma's new friend shook his head. "No, that's just what he calls himself. And last week it was Shooting Star."

"Tatiwaki Kuno. Age seventeen." Without waiting for a reply, Kuno swung again at Ranma.

Ranma leaped back towards a tree, then leaped again as Kuno sliced it in half. "Oh yeah? Well I'm Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts," he landed on his feet, "and I accept your challenge."

"Oh jeez, is he insane?" Kiroshi said.

Another person came up to Kinma and Kiroshi and nodded. "Kuno's the best fighter in school. He'll tear that new guy apart!"

"Oh yeah?" Kinma's eyebrow arched up. He suddenly turned around, scribbled something, then turned back and thrust a sheet of paperto the newcomer. "Want to bet on that?"

Two minutes later, Kinma Saotome had not just the new guy Genosho's signature and promised amount, but half the people's in the classroom. To spike up the stakes, he promised three to one odds against his brother.

Nabiki didn't sign. She knew how good Kuno was, and she'd seen Ranma perform the night before.

As the fight in the schoolyard continued, the clouds overhead darkened. Thunder rumbled and a few paltry raindrops fell to the ground.

"Ranma-" Akane tried to warn Ranma, but he was busy dodging Kuno's stabs and slashes. _This has gone on long enough_ the pigtailed martial artist thought as he leaped up

and lunged towards Kuno. Rain fell harder from the clouds as he touched Kuno's forehead.

And all of a sudden, a certain panda carrying a steaming teakettle charged into the school courtyard, knocked down Kuno, grabbed a now female Ranma and Akane, and headed for the school shed.

"Am I seeing things?" Kiroshi asked. "Did that-panda just nail Kuno?"

"Hey." Genosho looked at Kinma. "Our bet was on the fight, and now that panda just cancelled it. So the bets off."

"Yeah, yeah!" the other classmates added in agreement.

Kinma shook his head and tapped the paper they'd signed. "Look here." His finger indicated the paragraph _If Kuno beats Ranma, the signee gets three times the amount bet. "_And since Kuno obviously _didn't_ beat my brother, you who signed still have pay."

Grumbling, Genosho and the other singers pulled out their wallets, and handed Kinma bills and coins. Kinma gather up the money and counted it: he now had 30,000 yen.

Nabiki looked at Kinma. _So, you like making money, do you Saotome?" _Nabiki thought. _We'll see how well you do when you go up against the Ice Queen of Furinkan High. _

End of Chapter two

Author's Notes: After reading this on the page, I knew this chapter had to be revised a little. Don't worry, I'll soon have chapter three up soon.

Also, tell me what you think of the new character Kinma Saotome.


	3. Chapt 3 Kuno vs the Saotome Brothers

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the creations and property of Rumiko Takahashi. No money is being made from their use in this work of Fanfiction-isn't that a shame.

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

**Chapter Three: **The Saotome Brothers vs. Kuno

Tatiwaki Kuno had managed to make it to his home classroom 2-B on time by a thread. He sat down on his desk next to Nabiki Tendo, his expression a glower underneath the bruise on his forehead.

Kinma Saotome walked up to the blackboard and stood up in front of his new classmates. "All right class," the teacher began, "I want you to know that we have a new student, Mr. Kinma Saotome. Mr. Saotome has recently returned from a trip to China, so I want you all to give in big welcome. Mr. Saotome, you may take your seat now." Kinma looked and groaned silently when he saw that the only desk available was on the other side of Kuno from Nabiki.

The teacher turned to the black board and began writing the lesson plan for the day, unaware of the various students' shenanigans behind his back. Two girls were trading pictures of their boyfriends, three guys were planning a weekend barbeque, and Tatiwaki Kuno was staring in a mirror and tracing a finger around his Kanji shaped bruise.

"Humph," he muttered to Nabiki, "I thought Ranma Saotome was good, when he doesn't even know how to spell." He got out a piece paper and then drew the Kanji for _capable_. "My name is drawn this way."

Nabiki looked at the kanji, then to took the paper from Kuno. "Excuse me Kuno-baby," she said as she drew _incapable_ underneath the one Kuno drew, "I think it's more like this."

Kuno glared at Nabiki. "You realize that I hate you."

"Oh Kuno-baby, I'm so scared."

"Excuse me," Kinma piped in. Both Kuno and Nabiki turned to see he had drawn a kanji for _Totally Incapable._ "Of course, spelling was never Ranma's strong point."

Kuno then looked at Kinma. "And, pray tell, are you to address the great Tatiwaki Kuno, peasant?"

"Kinma Saotome. Ranma's my little brother."

Ranma and Akane were standing in the hall outside homeroom 1-F, each holding a bucket of water in their hands. The incident at the courtyard had made them late, and now they had to stand in the hall.

"This is all your fault, Ranma!" Akane said angrily.

"Oh yeah? It was your fight made us late!" Ranma shot back.

"Well, I always finish my fights before class!"

"Okay, jeez." Ranma sighed. "What is it with you and that Kuno guy anyway?"

"Well," Akane began, "It all started with the beginning of the semester, when Upperclassman Kuno made this stupid speech….."

"The vengeance of Heaven is slow but sure." Kuno began. He was in the speaking hall, with a full audience of students sitting in the bleachers. "If any of you peasants and knaves wish to date Akane Tendo, you must defeat her in combat! I, Tatiwaki Kuno, will permit no other terms."

"Fi-fiance!" Kuno screamed out the words. "He's her fiancé!"

Nabiki nodded. "My daddy and his daddy decided. Akane's going to marry Ranma."

"Oh jeez, stick-girl, why not tell the whole world?" Kinma muttered to himself.

"Never!" Kuno roared, pounding his fist on his desk. "I'll NOT ALLOW IT!"

"Kuno!" The pompous teenager was caught off guard when the teacher shouted his name. "Go stand in the hall."

"Ye-yes sir."

"You mean you fight Kuno every morning?"

Akane nodded. "And for some reason, I always win."

Ranma straightened himself. "Well, a lot of times when a guy fights a girl, he lets her win."

"Don't underestimate me." Akane glared at Ranma. "Fight me for real sometime."

"Look, if you are a violent macho chick, you're still a girl. I don't fight girls."

Akane hefted her bucket towards Ranma, the water brimming towards the edge. "Well, how about if YOU"RE a girl?"

Ranma held up his hand. "Yo-you wouldn't dare…" Akane inched closer to him-

And suddenly the pigtailed martial artist barely dodged a stream of water coming from behind him.

"Never Ranma!" The two turned and saw Kuno standing behind them with a pail. "Never will I accept your engagement to Akane Tendo!"

"No way!" Ranma cried.

"It was our parents who-"

"ENGAGEMENT!" All of a sudden students poured out of the classrooms. "You're engaged to him?" "I thought you said you hated guys!" "Wow, what a hunk!"

Kuno threw more water at Ranma, immediately began running towards the stairs. He went up with Kuno, Akane, and the curious mob right up his tail. As they kept running, more students came out to join in the commotion, including Kinma and Nabiki.

Suddenly, after reaching the third floor, Ranma spotted an open window "Aha!" He ran towards it and leaped onto the sill.

"No Ranma, don't!" Akane cried, but it was too late. Ranma leaped off, with Kuno following after him.

"Oh no," Akane whispered as the mob reached the window "we're three stories up and-"

"So?" Kinma asked. "My little brother can handle-"

"No, that's not it!" Akane looked at Kinma. "Right below is the school swimming pool."

SPLASH! Ranma and Kuno both landed in the pool. Oh great. Ranma-chan said to herself. Hundred of windows in this school and the only open one I find has to be above a pool.

Suddenly she felt two arms wrap across her bosom. "Rranmmaaa," Kuno gurgled out.

"Wwhhyy yyoouu-" Ranma slipped out from Kuno, and sent him out of the water-"pervert!" He crashed onto his back next to the pool.

Quickly Ranma got out of the pool, and, not wanting her new classmates to see her in her present state, ran of towards the woods.

"Is it just me," Kiroshi asked Kinma, "or did your little brother just shrink?

"No, it was just you." Kinma hastily replied.

"Now what are we going to do?" Akane moaned.

Kinma faced Akane. "Tell me where to get some hot water. I'm going to help my brother."

"There should be some in the janitor's office. I'll go with you." But before they could leave, several girls blocked their way.

"Well, Akane?" the tallest girl asked. "Is it true? Is Ranma your fiancé?"

"Yes," Akane glanced towards her sister, and grinned evilly. "And Kinma here is Nabiki's."

Oh really?" Kinma and Akane got away as the girls turned from them to Nabiki. "Oh, man, he's such a hunk!" "You're both so lucky!" "I wish I was a Tendo!"

Kuno lay on his back next to the pool, ignoring Kinma and Akane as they ran by with a hot kettle of water. I'm almost positive, he told himself that person in the pool with me was a female.

Ranma-chan was sitting in a tree, wringing the water from her trousers. "Stupid Kuno," she muttered. "Well, I guess the jig is up. He must know my secret by now."

"Hey little bro," Ranma heard her brother voice down below. ""I'd normally appreciate the show you're giving, but we're family."

Ranma quickly closed her legs as she looked down and saw Kinma and Akane staring up at her. "Hey dummy," Akane called out, "just how stupid can you be?"

"Go away," Ranma called back. "I don't need help from either of you!"

"Oh really?" Akane suddenly produced a kettle full of hot water. "Then I guess you don't want this!"

"No!" Ranma cried out frantically. "Gimmee gimmee!"

"Okay then," Akane threw the kettle up in the air, "catch!"

"Well, well, Kinma Saotome and Akane Tendo," a familiar voice chuckled. The two turned and saw Kuno standing before them, boken in hand. "Have either of you seen Saotome's rascally knave of a brother?"

Kinma faced Kuno and held his bo staff in a mock salute. "All right Kuno," Kinma said, "I challenge you!"

Kuno smiled. "So, fearing my prowess, the knave flees and sends his brother to do his fighting for him. Very, Kinma Saotome, I accept you challenge!"

Suddenly Kuno lunged and slashed at Kinma, who blocked the boken with his staff. Kinma then struck at Kuno's side, but was blocked by a swift movement of the boken.

Akane stared, mesmerized by the fight. Even though both were using weapons made of wood sparks flew as they struck, formed by the aura their fighting spirits.

Kuno had one weakness, however. He was a kendoist and very good; he lead the Furinkan Kendo team to the provincial championships the previous semester. But he had never bothered to study any other fighting discipline. Kinma on the other hand had studied several almost since he could walk, and knew all the moves and countermoves to kendo. Soon, Kuno was panting hard as Kinma's staff struck his sides repeatedly.

Kinma all of a sudden brought his staff between his classmate's legs and, just missing Kuno's privates, sent him flying up in the air-and towards the tree were Ranma-chan was still struggling to pour hot water on herself.

CRASH! Kuno landed headfirst on top of the kettle. Ranma groaned as all the hot water poured out.

"Excuse me miss." Ranma blinked, then realized Kuno was talking to her. "Have you seen a pigtailed man running by? Cowards die a thousand deaths before their time."

"That does it!" Ranma dropped the kettle, and Kuno with it, then leaped of the tree onto the ground. She faced Kuno, who was already on his feet with his boken ready. "You want a piece of me, then come get me."

"Very well," Kuno said. "And if you defeat me, I shall allow you to date with me."

"Who asked for a date with you!" Ranma cried, as she hit Kuno squarely in the solar plexus. Before he could recover, she sent her right leg between his two and elbowed him in the small of his back. As Kuno landed, she caught his boken. She twirled it a couple of times in the air before shouldering it.

"Guess what Kuno," Ranma snorted sardonically. "Ranma Saotome's even better than me."

"Ranma? You haven't changed back yet?" Ranma looked and saw Akane and Kinma looking at her.

"Oh yeah? You try pouring water from a kettle on yourself while you're hanging by your knees from a tree branch."

Kinma looked down at the prostrate kendoist and whistled. "Not bad little bro." he said. "I couldn't have done it better myself."

Ranma straightened and smiled. "That's because I'm better than you are, big bro." The three walked away from the woods. "C'mon, lets go home."

"Uh, Ranma," Kinma said, "school's not over yet.

It was lunchtime in room 2-B. Kinma was eating from his bento and talking with Kiroshi and Genosho, with whom he'd been making fast friends, when all of a sudden he heard a voice behind him. "Kinma Saotome."

Kinma turned and saw Kuno standing behind him. "Yeah, what is it Kuno? You here to finish the fight?"

Kuno shook his head. "Nay, my good man. Though your brother be a coward and an honorless cur, you acted as an honorable sibling in coming to his aid."

Kinma scowled; Kuno had Ranma all wrong. "Spare me the poetic jargon and tell me what you want."

"I've come to ask about that maiden who appeared earlier with you."

"Oh? You mean the one with the red hair tied in a pigtail and wearing Chinese clothes?" Kuno nodded. Kinma rolled his eyes as he said, "Let's just say she's like the sister I never had."

"Good. I want you to give her this." Kuno thrust a sheet of paper into Kinma's hands. "Give this to her," he said, and walked away.

Ranma and his father were in the dojo, standing on their heads, when Kinma came in. "Here," he said to his brother. "Kuno wanted me to give this to you."

Ranma got on his feet and looked at the piece of paper. "To the tree-bourn kettle girl?" he asked.

Kinma shrugged. "It's to your girl half. He still has no idea you're the same person."

Genma got up looked at his older son. "I hear that you helped your brother out in school today Kinma. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah." Ranma said. "Thanks, Kinma."

"Anytime, little bro."

Genma cleared his throat. "There's someone else you should be thanking, Ranma."

"Who?" Ranma asked.

"Akane." At his son's blank stare Genma went on, "She got the water for you, didn't she?"

Ranma glowered. "It's not like I asked her to."

"C'mon, little bro." Kinma said. "I think Pop's right for once."

"Oh very well." Ranma sulked as he thrust his hands in his pockets and walked out the dojo with his brother.

Ranma and Kinma walked up to Akane's room; Ranma was struggling with thinking up a way to thank Akane, when they heard Akane and Nabiki speaking inside.

"Did you have to tell everyone Kinma was my fiancé?"

"Why not?" Akane smiled as she crossed her arms. "You told everyone Ranma was mine."

"I did not!" Nabiki shouted. "I only told Kuno!"

"Yeah, and he told everyone else. Misery loves company." Akane smirked.

"Whatever." Nabiki glowered. "Our lives might as well be over if we have to marry those jerks."

"We're engaged to our worst nightmares." Akane agreed.

Ranma looked at Kinma. "No way I'm going thank her now."

Kinma nodded in agreement. "You'll get no argument from me little bro."

Ranma went back to the dojo. His father had left; all that was left in the room was a bucket filled with water.

Ranma looked at the bucket, and then at the paper Kinma had given him. To the Tree Bourn Kettle Girl it said, meet me at the school athletics field Sunday at nine thirty a.m. to resolve our differences. Signed Tatiwaki Kuno.

Ranma looked again at the water bucket. He hated his curse; it had caused all sorts of problems for him ever since he fell into the cursed spring. And now he was being asked to do something that would require him to change deliberately.

Ranma-chan stood at the school grounds, dressed in her usual red Chinese silk shirt and pants. It was Sunday morning, and she'd been waiting over an hour for Kuno.

"He's late," Ranma muttered to herself, "and he's the one who picked the time and everything. What a loser!"

"Greetings, pigtailed-girl." A voice called out from behind Ranma. She turned and saw Kuno, dressed in his typical Kendo clothes, his hands behind his back.

Suddenly she noticed something missing. "Hey," Ranma called, "where's that stick you're always waving around?"

Kuno smiled. "I have no need of it."

Ranma crossed her arms. "Pretty confident, aint'ya?"

"Confident enough to give you-this." Kuno's arms swung. Ranma brought up her hands ready to defend herself-and caught a bouquet of roses.

"Huh?" she scratched her head. "What's the meaning of this?"

Ranma looked towards Kuno, who was walking away. Suddenly the Kendoist stopped and looked back at Ranma.

"Pigtailed girl-I love you."

End of chapter three

Author's notes: Whew! Sorry it took so long for the third chapter. Don't worry, I'll have to next one up soon.

In case you're planning on flaming me for having Kuno act OOC when he handed Kinma the note, remember that

he's really more concerned with finding out about the "pigtailed girl" than settling any score with Kinma.

Okay, here's the first of a series of questions I'm going to ask and I want to be answered in the reviews. When

Nabiki gets pissed off at Kinma should I have her

whack him with a mallet a'la Akane?

Hire thugs to beat him up? Or

Simply slap him in the face?

Please give me your answers. C&C are welcome?


	4. Chapt 4 Kinma vs Nabiki

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the creations and property of Rumiko Takahashi. No money is being made from their use in this work of Fanfiction-If I could, I'd quit working for Airborne

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

**Chapter Four: Kinma vs. Nabiki-who can sell the most photos?**

"ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"

Kinma Saotome immediately woke from his sleep. His brother's scream had been louder than the one given after falling into the Spring of Drowned Girl had been. "Yeesh, are you trying to wake the dead, little bro?"

"Oh, Kinma." Ranma gasped, then looked at his brother. "I just had this awful dream."

"Yeah I'll say. You wanna talk about it?"

"RANMA!" The two brothers turned and saw Akane in the doorway of their room; her father and two sisters were right behind her. "SOME of us are trying to sleep!"

"Hey, my brother just had a nightmare." Kinma retorted, then look at Kasumi. "Kasumi, could you prepare us a couple of cups of hot tea?"

"Coming right up." Kasumi headed towards the kitchen. _She sure is a nice girl, _Kinma thought. _I can't believe she and Nabiki have the same parents._

He glanced over at his father. Sure enough, the panda was still asleep, snoring like a chainsaw. Sometimes it seemed Genma Saotome could sleep through an earthquake.

Soun headed back for his own room. Akane and Nabiki followed suit. "Shouldn't have woke us up," Akane grumbled.

"C'mon sis, it's not like you haven't woken up anyone after one of your dreams."

The two cups of hot tea were on the kitchen table waiting for the two brothers when they got there. Kinma sat down and lifted his cup to his lips. It was flavored with mint, the way he liked it. _I wonder if she's psychic. _

"Okay little bro," Kinma asked. "What was the dream about?

After taking a drink from his own cup, Ranma told his brother. He had been in an onson enjoying his bath when all of a sudden Tatiwaki Kuno appeared. Naked.

"_Ranma Saotome," the dream Kuno said, "I love you. I would date with you."_

"Look at me lame brain!" Ranma cried out. "I'm a guy!" Suddenly Ranma looked down at himself-or rather herself.

"_Ranma Saotome. I love you. I would date with you." The dream Kuno suddenly grew, until he was giant sized and grabbed the tiny Ranma-chan in his hand. "I love you I would date with you. IloveyouIwoulddatewithyou IloveyouIwouldatewithyou…_

"And that's not all." Ranma sighed. "Every since I got this curse, I've been having dreams where I'm stuck as a girl, where I'm dressing or acting like one or even where I-" Ranma shuddered at the thought-"go out with guys."

Kinma just sat there for several seconds, not knowing what to say. He had no idea the curse was affecting his brother like that. _How could you? _a voice inside his head told him. _You just turn invisible. Your father becomes a panda, but that seems to suit him, seeing how lazy and greedy he is. Heck your brother gets his size and sexual organs twisted inside out and has people look at and treat him different than normal. How well would YOU take it?_

Finally Kinma reached out and took his brother's hand in his. "Ranma, I don't know what to say except that, for better or worse, I'll stick by you. You're my brother, and if there is any way I can help you deal with this curse or even find a cure, I'll do it. And if the way I've acted concerning my own curse has gotten to you, I'm sorry."

"Thanks bro," Ranma sighed in relief. "It's good to know I can count on you." The two brothers finished their tea and headed back to their room.

As he lay down on his futon however, Kinma Saotome REALLY began to feel guilty about what he was going to do at school the next day.

Kinma was eating lunch at school when Kuno came up to his desk. "Here," the kendoist said as he dropped a stuffed panda on Kinma's desk.

"And just what is it?" Kinma asked.

"It's a present."

Kinma tossed the panda back at Kuno, then took a swig of orange juice. "Not my taste."

"It's not for you." Kuno dropped the panda on the desk again. "It's for the pigtailed girl."

Kinma spat out his juice-straight into Kuno's face. _That's for Ranma?_ "You still after her?"

"But of course," Kuno replied. "Tell me where I can give it to her."

Kinma reached into his schoolbag and pulled out a group of photos. "Perhaps you'll be interested in these."

They were pictures of Ranma-chan in various stares of dress, from tank top and boxers to completely naked. "Ho-how did you get these?" Kuno stuttered.

"That's my secret." Kinma said with a smirk. "And they'll all be yours for only 15,000 yen."

Kuno slapped a wad of bills on top of Kinma's desk. "Sold."

Nabiki looked at them from her own desk. She had set of Ranma-chan photos herself, but none were as good as those Kinma had. She wasn't about to give up, however.

"Excuse me, she said. The two young men turned towards her. Nabiki smirked at Kuno. "Planning on two-timing my little sister, Kuno-chan?"

"Nay, Nabiki Tendo." Kuno's eyes glazed over as he seemed to enter a dreamlike state. "Ah, Akane Tendo, so full of fury and passion, like Diana on the hunt. The pigtailed girl, bursting with healthy beauty. Would you call it deceit that I would have them both?"

"No," Nabiki said as she pulled out a small group of photos. "That's what I'd call-" she laid them down in front of Kuno-"two-timing!"

Kuno stared at Nabiki's pictures. They were of Akane in her gi crushing cinderblocks with her bare hands, or pumping weights, attacking training dummies, or simply jogging. "How much?"

"10,000 yen." After seeing those pictures of Ranma-chan, Nabiki knew she wouldn't get away with asking for more.

Kuno hand her the bills, and collected the pictures in his hands. His eyes were practically bulging when Kinma said "I don't suppose you'll be interested in these?"

He showed the pictures to Kuno. They were also of Akane-of her in the tub, or the girls locker room, or just changing for bed. "I'll let you have them for another 15000."

"That's highway robbery," Kuno said, although he didn't take his eyes off the pictures.

"Take it or leave it." Kinma said.

"Sold."

As Kuno walked off to admire his new acquisitions, Nabiki glared at her fiancé. "How did you get pictures of Akane like that?"

Kinma counted up his bills; he'd made three times as much as Nabiki. "Lets just say now you can see why I don't want to be cured."

Nabiki Tendo only paid half attention in class the rest of the day. _He only beat you because of his invisibility trick, _she told herself. _It's not like he's really better than you. He just has an unfair advantage._

Ranma was in the Tendo dojo courtyard, pounding on a padded pole. _That ungrateful tomboy _he muttered to himself. He and Akane had arrived a school, the hentai horde waiting for them. They plowed though them, all the way to the gate where Kuno was waiting for them. They both kicked him into the dust simultaneously, when all of a sudden she had the nerve to tell him she didn't need his help!

"Something on your mind little bro?" Ranma turned and saw Kinma leaning on the doorway to the dojo.

"Oh it's nothing." Ranma left the pole and picked up a towel. Wiping the sweat from his forehead he added "Care to spar?"

"Maybe later." Kinma walked over to his brother and hand him a piece of paper.

"From Kuno?"

Kinma nodded. "To the real you. Says he has something he wants to tell you."

Ranma looked down at the piece of paper, then at the address on the side of the building. "Well, this is the place," he said to himself. "I wonder where Kuno is?"

"Ah, Ranma Saotome," an unfortunately familiar voice called out. Ranma turned around sure enough there was Kuno.

"All right, what is it Kuno?"

"You must address me as _upperclassman_," Kuno said, then added, "Never mind. Here."

Ranma stared for several seconds at the stuffed panda Kuno had thrown into his arms. "What the heck is this?"

Kuno snorted. "I had the words from your own brother Kinma after school today when I gave him the note: 'If you want you pigtailed girl to receive that stuffed panda, you must give it to my brother.'"

"Is that it?" Ranma tossed the panda back to Kuno, then turned to walk away. "Forget about her."

"Forget ab-about-?" Kuno followed Ranma who'd just turned a corner.

And suddenly a splash of water from up above landed on him.

"Careful honey," a man in the apartment three stories high told his wife who'd just thrown out the dishwater. "You might hit someone."

The woman turned back to her husband. "Don't worry, I didn't see anyone."

Kuno had just turned the corner saw an irate, soaking wet Ranma-chan. "Oh at last, pigtailed girl!" he cried as he ran and grabbed her in his arms.

"Let go of me, pervert!" Ranma cried angrily as she struggled against Kuno's arms. All of a sudden she felt a rush of hot water-and Kuno found himself holding onto a wet and angry Ranma-kun.

"Sorry little bro," Kinma said as he put down the kettle. "Was that too hot?"

Kuno stared at the two brothers. "T-the pigtailed girl-?"

Ranma shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you know my secret, huh Kuno?"

Kuno looked from right to left, then at Ranma and Kinma. "Where is she!"

Ranma's jaw dropped. "You mean you still don't get it?"

Kinma placed his hand on Ranma's shoulder. "Perhaps I should explain things, little bro." The older Saotome brother went up to Kuno and said to him, "Kuno I know this is going to seem hard to believe but that pigtailed girl-well, something happens to my brother and he turns into her. I'm sorry, but-."

Kinma never got a chance to finish. Kuno looked at Ranma, then at his brother, then at Ranma again. "I never would have thought," he began, "of all things, I never would have any idea. Ranma Saotome-," he pointed his boken at the pigtailed martial-artist-"is a CROSSDRESSER!"

Ranma waved his hands. "No, that's not it at all-," he began, then leaped out of the way of Kuno's boken.

"Silence knave!" Kuno gripped his boken in both hands as he inched closer to Ranma. "I see it all now. You sought to take Akane Tendo away from me, but lacking the courage to face me in honest combat you disguise yourself as a woman and lead me on!" The pompous young man held back his head and let out a loud laugh. "Your disguise was good, I admit it. It even had me, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High fooled for a while. But now I see through your guise and shall punish you!" He swung again at Ranma, who dodged to the left, then leaped away.

"Kinma!" Kinma turned and saw Akane run up with Nabiki not far behind her. "Kasumi told us you came down here to talk with Kuno and we decided to come and see if-," Akane stopped, stared at the fight, and then glanced at Kinma, who was just standing and leaning on his bo staff. "Why aren't you helpingyour brother?"

"If he needed my help, I would," Kinma said, then pointed at the two opponents. "Ranma's doing his usual technique-he's dodging until Kuno either tires out or loses focus. And seeing how angry he is, I don't think Kuno's going to keep his focus very long."

"Oh," Akane whispered, "I see."

Ranma ducked under Kuno' slash, then leaped again. _Why is he so mad?_ He came down at Kuno and, seeing an opening, kicked him in the jaw. As Kuno staggered back, a picture of his female version came of Kuno's jacket. Ranma immediately grabbed it and stared. _How did he get a picture like this?_

Ranma was so busy staring at the picture he didn't notice Kuno coming at him-until the wooden sword whacked against his side. The force behind it was so strong it sent Ranma crashing down into the pavement-almost to beneath Akane's legs.

Akane looked down at Ranma "I think you should know," Akane said, "that when upperclassman Kuno's really angry and fighting against a MALE opponent, he's really tough to beat."

"And I think you should know," Ranma said slyly, "those Sailor Moon panties really don't suit you."

"ARRRGH!" Akane kicked Ranma back towards Kuno.

_Okay, _Ranma thought, _time to end this._ As he hurtled towards his opponent he grabbed the end of the boken and landed his left foot squarely into Kuno's face. As the Kendoist staggered, Ranma kicked him again in the abdomen, chest, and throat.

In slow motion, Kuno raised his boken above his head. "I Tatiwaki Kuno," he weakly began, "shall never admit-," Before he could finish, the arrogant Kendoist fell to the ground, flat on his back.

Kinma, Nabiki and Akane ran up to Ranma. "Wow," Nabiki said as she looked down at Kuno, "every blow hit a vital spot."

Ranma placed his hands on his hips. "_Upperclassman _Kuno didn't have much." He said smugly.

"Oh yeah?" Akane flicked the side where Kuno boken had torn Ranma's shirt, then smiled as her fiancé winced. "Just what was it that distracted you in the fight anyway?"

"These." Ranma showed her the photos he'd picked up.

"Ranma!" Akane roared, "What are you doing with these pictures of me? I'm almost afraid to ask!"

"It wasn't me! Kuno had them! And some of me too!"

Akane suddenly looked at her sister. "Nabiki! You told me these were for the family album!"

Nabiki shrugged and smiled innocently. "Just trying to make some money on the side."

Akane looked at the pictures again. "Wait a minute. I don't remember this one being taken. Or this one."

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I was alone this time. The only way someone could have taken them was if he was-." Ranma and Akane both glanced at Kinma.

"Invisible." The two said the last word together.

Kinma and Nabiki backed away from their siblings, both of whom were glowing red with anger. Suddenly they noticed they had their backs to a wall-and no cold water to activate Kinma's curse.

"You're dead Kinma!"

"Die Nabiki!"

End of chapter four

Author's notes: So Kuno realizes the truth- or at least part of it. How's that for a divergence?

Anyone who thinks Kinma's behavior is inconsistent-acting as Ranma's confidant while at the same time selling racy pictures of him to Kuno-is obviously an only child. Sibling relationships are full of love-hate moments, and this one is no exception.

Anyway, I'm thinking of having one of the girls who normally chases after Ranma go after Kinma instead. Should it be:

Kodachi

Shampoo or

Ukyo

Please send in your reviews. I'm amazed already that one reader has added this to her list of favorites!


	5. Chapt 5 Does Nabiki Have a Heart?

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. No money is being made from the use of said characters-if I could, I'd probably still be broke.

Note to readers: About the end of the last chapter-I always thought Nabiki deserved a beating for selling pictures of her sister to a pervert like Kuno. Don't worry, that's about the only time she'll be physically hurt-although she'll get her comeuppance more often than she did in Takahashi's storyline

To Follow the Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

**Chapter Five: Furinkan's Ice Queen Starts to crack! Does Nabiki have a heart?**

"This is horrible!" Dr. Tofu Ono cried as he looked down. Laid down on two cots in his clinic were Kina and Nabiki. Both had bruises on their faces and the joints of their arms and legs were twisted in directions that would give an Indian yogi nightmares, although Kinma seemed to have the worst of it. The doctor turned to Ranma and Akane, who were standing behind them. "What kind of thug did this?"

"Well, I, uh, we-," Akane stammered, not sure what to say.

"A dorky girl did it to them." Ranma interjected.

Akane's eyes were blazing with fury. "Do you want to join them, Ranma? You helped with it!"

"Hey, I only beat up on Kinma. I then held down your sister for you!" Ranma shot back.

"Akane?" Akane looked at the doctor. "You did this?"

Akane Tendo blushed; she really didn't know what to say. Suddenly Dr. Tofu surprised everyone by laughing out loud.

"I thought I recognized Akane's handiwork-," he said as he grabbed Kinma's left arm. He straightened it out with a loud POP!

"Ow!" the elder Saotome brother cried. The doctor then went tork on the right arm.

"-especially with the way this elbow is twisted-," he continued, "-and the way the shoulder is dislocated-," then moved on to the legs, "-and the contusions on the knees and hips. This is Akane's handiwork all right!"

Dr. Tofu next went to work on Nabiki. "Boy this takes me back!" he laughed as he straightened out Nabiki's arms. "Don't you two remember, when Nabiki was still practicing? You were like what, eleven and twelve, and after each session I'd have to work on Nabiki. Oh, the way you thrashed her Akane!"

"Man, she was violent as a gorilla even then?" Ranma whistled.

"That does it!" Akane exploded. She rolled up her sleeves and glared at Ranma. "C'mon you-!"

Before the fight could start, Dr. Tofu interrupted. "Oh by the way Ranma, I hear that you're Akane's fiancé? And your brother's Nabiki's?"

"No way!" Ranma cried out.

"It's what our fathers decided!"

Kinma suddenly joined in. "Like I'd want to marry a cold-hearted stick girl like her!"

"I can say the same thing, Kinma-baby." Nabiki put in as Dr. Tofu finished with her legs.

"It is too early," Dr. Tofu said cheerfully. "After all, you're all still children."

"Yes, Dr. Tofu," Akane lowered her eyes and turned away. _I'm just a little child to you._

Kinma and Nabiki both stood up on their cots and stretched. "Hey, I'm cured!" Kinma called out in amazement. Nabiki nodded in quiet agreement. She'd had Dr. Tofu treat her many times before she finally quit martial arts.

Akane suddenly smiled at Kinma. "See? Dr. Tofu's the best!"

The four walked out to leave when Dr. Tofu called out after them. "Akane, Nabiki, why don't you two wait outside? I'd like to talk to Kinma and Ranma for bit.

The two sisters stood outside the door in silence. Nabiki looked at Akane, who just glared at her; she was still angry with her sister for selling pictures of her to Kuno.

Dr. Tofu just looked at the two Saotome brothers. "All kidding aside," he said, "I want you two to try to be nice to Akane and Nabiki."

"Jeez, it's not like I start the fights or anything."

"That girl's as cold as the snow on top of Mt Everest!"

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "Ranma," he began, "Akane's really a very sweet and kind girl. Just really get to know her and you'll see. And Kinma, that Ice Queen persona of Nabiki's-it's a front."

"A-a front?" Kinma stammered.

Dr. Tofu nodded, then looked to the open door where the girls were standing. "There's a whole different side to her that she hides from everyone-most of all to herself."

"Huh?" Both Ranma and Kinma were taken aback.

Dr. Tofu smiled as he walked them to the door and suddenly patted both brothers on the rear. "Soon you'll see."

Akane and Nabiki started walking when Ranma and Kinma came out the door. "So," Akane asked, not bothering to look back, "what did Dr. Tofu have to say to you two?"

"Oh, just how sorry he felt for us being stuck with two dorky girls like you," Ranma answered.

Akane stopped, turned, and glared at Ranma and Kinma. Nabiki stopped too, but didn't turn "Okay, that does it!" she cried. She held up her fists. "I'll take on the both of you!"

Ranma and Kinma both got ready to dodge (neither of them liked fighting girls) when all of a sudden-

-Dr. Tofu sipped at his tea and looked to his watch. "Three, two, one-,"

-and both martial-artist brothers landed butt-first on the pavement.

"Hey!" Kinma called out. "I can't feel my legs!"

"Me neither," Ranma muttered. "That Dr. Tofu must have done something to our hips."

Akane looked at her sister. "I guess we better help them," she said.

Nabiki shrugged. "If we must, we must. The two sisters walked over to their fiancés and knelt down.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Ranma asked, as Akane tried to place his arm over her shoulder.

"Piggyback. You don't want to spend the night out in the street, do you?"

"No way! It's too embarrassing for a guy to be seen carried by a girl!" Ranma shouted. Kinma, although normally less arrogant and more practical than his brother, nodded in firm agreement.

"Very well." Nabiki got up, grabbed a nearby hose and turned it on the two brothers. "Does this solve your problem?"

Before Ranma-chan could say anything, Akane picked her up and began walking. Nabiki had a little more trouble-Kinma was heavier than Ranma in either form and she couldn't see him-but she managed.

"Hey!" Nabiki cried out. Akane turned around with Ranma on her shoulders and gasped.

"Where'd she-." Her sister had disappeared along with Kinma.

"When I'm invisible, anything I'm touching turns invisible as well," Kinma's voice called out, "including people. Just avoid any passers-by."

As they continued back to the Tendo dojo, Kinma was amazed at how Nabiki kept only a little distance behind Akane. For all her willowy figure the middle Tendo girl was surprisingly strong.

_There's a whole different side to her that she hides from everyone,_ Dr. Tofu had told him, _including herself._

_Could he be right?_ Kinma wondered.

"Of course, with tax, the fee for this ride is 20000 yen, Kinma-baby"

Kinma decided the doctor had to be out of his mind.

Ranma and Kinma faced each other from opposite sides of the dojo courtyard koi pond. Both were dressed in their gis.

The two brothers looked each other in the eyes, and began their own personal katas. Ranma went through the typical kata, then the crane, and bake to the first. Kinma twirled his staff as though it were a simple baton, switching hands, under his right leg, then his left, across his chest, over his right shoulder, and then his left. With each minuete they moved faster and faster, until finally, they leaped.

The two brothers attacked each other. Kinma swung his staff, but Ranma grabbed it's end and sent a good kick to Kinma's stomach. The two landed on opposite side of the pond and look at each other.

Kinma was panting a little; Ranma's kick had been pretty hard. "Hey Kinma," he heard Ranma call out, "why don't you throw away that stick and learn how to fight for real?"

Kinma chuckled; he'd been saving a new move for just such an occasion. "Very well," he said as hetook his staff in his right hand and threw it at his brother, "I will!"

Kinma's stafftwirled in the air as it headed towards Ranma. The younger brother leaped up, dodoging the staff,and looked at Kinma. "Ha!" he crowed from the air. "You'd think you an take me with such an obvious-,"

THUNK. The end of Kinma's staff conected with Ranma's head; hehadn't seen it arc and come back out him. With a loud SPLASH! the young martial artist fell into the koi pond.

Kinma cought his staff and looked down at an irate Ranma-chan. "Guess that makes us even foryesterday, eh, SIS?"

"No," Ranma-chan reach out of the koi pond, grabbed her brother by the ankles, andpulled him in, "THIS makes us even!"

**STARTING TODAY**the sign Genma-panda was holding read, **I HAVE A PART TIME JOB.**

"Part time job?" Ranma-chan asked in disbelief. Her father's jobs had never paid much or lasted very long; for a martial arts master Genma Saotome was a suprisingly lazy man. "You working for a circus?"

"I'd say it's more likely a zoo," Kinma said. He and Ranma were both wringing the water from their soaked gi-jackets; it was a litlle disconcerting to see the water droplets appear out of nowhere from where the inivisible Kinma was standing. "Pandas in a circus have to balence on balls and do all sorts of acts. In a zoo they just have to eat and sleep."

**HEY!** Genma's sign read, **SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR FATHER!**

"We will when you deserve it, old man."

Soun Tendo came into the dining room, brushing his teeth. "Ah, Ranma, Kinma. Morning workout I see."

Ranma flabbed the last of the water from her jacket. "Just trying to keep in shape!" Soun's eyes suddenly bulged at the sight of Ranma's full, plump, bare female bosum.

RANMA! Akane cried as she came into the room with a kettle of hot water. She poured it oved his back, then set it down. "Have you no sense of feminine modesty?"

"Of course not, I'm a guy."

"Well still!" Akane wasn't about to give up. "What if the neighbors saw you?"

The kettle Akane had set down suddenly disappeared, then reappered along with Kinma. "They'd probably wonder what happened to the flat-chested stick girl."

Akane suddenly glared at Kinma, then stopped when she realized the insult was directed at Nabiki, not her.

The Saotomes and the Tendos all sat down at the breakfast table. Akane and Nabiki were wearing their school uniforms. Ranma and Kinma were still wearing Chinese peasant jackets, but these were a shade of blue that could at a glance pass for a boys school uniform. Genma and his sons played their usual game of trying to steal each others' food. When they had first started that, Genma always came out on top-until Ranma and Kinma realized they'd have better luck stealing only from their father and not each other.

"Akane," Kasumi asked.

"What is it Kasumi?"

The oldest Tendo daughter held up a book titled PRESSURE POINTS. "I was wondering if, on your way from schoolyou could return this book to Dr. Tofu's."

"Uhm, I'm kind of busy," Akane looked down at the floor. Ranma had told Kinma how he figured Akane had a crush on the local chriopractor. "Can't you, ah, return it yourself."

"Well, I suppose I could after Confession this afternoon," Kasumi said.

Akane suddenly looked at the clock on the wall. "Omigod, RanmaKinmaNabikiwe'regoingtobelate!" She immediatly grabbed her bookbag, then Ranma-who was still eating breakfast-and rushed out the door.

Nabiki and Kinma got up from the table. "Might as well go after her." Kinma mused.

"Might as well," Nabiki nodded in the first agreement they'd had since they met.

Akane Tendo raced towards Furinkan High, Ranma waving behind her like a flag. Kinma and Nabiki trotted behind at a slower pace. They really wern't in danger of being late; Akane was hoping to get there before the usual mob of hormone-crazed suitors.

She was running so fast she didn't notice the ladle-lady splash Ranma. As luck would have it when their siblings came by Kinma also got splashed.

Akane passed the schoolyard gates, saw no suitors around. She stopp to sigh in relief-then noticed that Ranma was now a girl. "When did this happen?" she cried out as she pinned Ranma-chan against the wall and opened her shirt.

"You should have slowed down." Ranma suddenly looked over Akane's shoulder and noticed throng of boys staring at them-and at her bare bosum. "Get away, you perverts!"

Akane turned around, holding up her fists. "All right, who's first!"

One of the boys at the head of the crowd held up his hands. "No Akane we haven't come to fight."

Another boy spoke up. "We've come to tell you that we had a little discussion, and that we accept-," he held back a sob, "-your engagement to Ranma Saotome."

A third boy went on, "After Kuno was beaten, both by Ranma and his brother Kinma, we realized none of us had a chance."

Akane just stood there in shock. Was it finally over?

"Nay, fellow classmates!" a slightly muffled voice called out. The crowd parted and and toward Akane walked Tatiwaki Kuno in his usual kendo clothes-and bandages wrapped around his face and arms. "I Taiwaki Kuno give no credence to the lie that I was bested by that crossdressing knave Ranma Saotome! Or his equally cowardlly brother Kinma!"

"Hey!" Ranma cried out as she leaped in front of Kuno. "My brother and I both beat you fair and square. Just admit it!"

Kuno glanced at Ranma-then at her chest. Embarred for a moment, Ranma quickly buttoned it up.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Kuno roared. "So you come to me again in your female disguise, crossdresser! But I'm wise to your tricks. That disguise will never fool me again!"

One of Akane's former suiters asked another, "Did he just call that GIRL Ranma? And say that Saotome's a crossdresser?

His friend shook his head. "Can't be. She's a lot smaller than Ranma. Kuno must have taken one too many blows to the head."

Kuno tore the bandages from his face. The bruises from where Ranma had kicked hin the night before were still there. "Now, Saotome, I shall give you what you so richly deserve, then I shall find your brother and punish him as well!" Ranma got herself into a stance as Kuno raised his boken above his head, took a step forward-

-and suddenly collapsed onto his face.

"Sorry about that little bro." Ranma suddenly heard Kinma's voice whisper in her ear. "I whacked him on the back with my staff. We don't have time for a fight."

"I guess. Ranma grabbed her bookbag and slid it onto her back. "Lets go find some hot water."

It was gym class at Furinkan, the last class of the day for all the students. Ranma was showing off on the balence beam, the girls of Akane's class were playing baseball, Nabiki was at the tennis courts, and Kinma was at the archery range.

_Slowly,_ Kinma could hear the voice of the old kyodo master who first tought him how to shoot, _take your time. Pull back to your ear, focus on the target-there is nothing else in the world except for you and the target-release, and the arrow will find the mark._

Kinma released. The arrow split one of the previous shooters. He did the same again, and again, until all of the previous arrows-shot by his friend Genosho-were split by his.

"Wow!" Kiroshi slapped Kinma's back as he returned the bow in quiver. "That was some really good shooting!"

Kinma shrugged. "I had good teachers."

"I call it luck." Genosho said glumly. He, Kinma and Kiroshiwalked over to the tennis courts where the girls of their class were playing."

"Geez, what's eating you?" Kiroshi asked.

"Her." Genosho pointed to the girl who'd just swung first serve-Nabiki. "She raised the interest on the money I borrowed from her."

"Oh really?How much do you owe her?" Kinma asked.

"18000 yen."

Kinmareached into his back pocket, couted out some bills, then handed them to Genosho. "Here. Pay her back with this."

Genosho eyed the money dubiously. "And how much interest are YOU going to charge me?"

"None." Now both Genosho and Kiroshi stared at him. "YOU don't even have to pay me back. I can get more elsewhere."

The boys turned their attention back to the game. "You know, that fiancee of your's is kind of cute," Kiroshi told Kinma.

"She is not." But in spite of his protest, Kinma adjusted his glasses and looked closer. Nabiki was graceful as she moved back and forth across the court, hitting the ball each time it came at her. When she smiled-Kinma had never before noticed, but Nabiki had a really beautiful smile.

He suddenly turned his head to think when suddenly the tennis ball his fiancee had just hit passed through the fence-and hit him square in the cheek.

"Hey!" Kiroshi said. "I thought you had karate reflexes. You could have dodged that."

"I had something on my mind."

The girls playing tennis came up to the fence. Kinma reached down, grabbed the tennis ball, and threw it to Nabiki.

She cought it, then looked at him. "You should have dodged that," was all she said before she and her freinds went back to their game.

"I guess what I meant to say was," Kiroshi said, "that she's be kind of cute if she wasn't so cold-hearted."

"You'll get no arguement from me," Kinma said, then looked at his friends. He'd spent most of the day already working at his plan, now he could tell them about. "How would you like to see the Ice Queen de-throned?"

Nabiki Tendo sat at the desk in her room. She'd finshed her homework far quicker than usual; she'd focused hard to keep her mind of her depression.

After her tennis game, she gone to collect money from the people who owed her. What shocked her was that they'd all paid her what they owed. Interest included. While she now had a pile load of yen, it meant she couldn't get them to do favors for her anymore, or raise interest. And not only that,all the people she'd been blackmailing-their secrets had been exposed. There would be no more money coming from them.

It wasn't as though her family really needed it. The Tendo's finances were secure and sound; the Sony stock holding had just gone up 20. But it was her one true pleasure and passion, her ability to manipulate people and get them to do her bidding. She was a fairly good student but not an outstanding one. She was good at Tennis but she'd obviously never make Wimboldon. Being able to make money out of any situation was her talent, her gift.

And it didn't take her long to figure out just who brought her racket down. Kinma Saotome.

He'd loaned the people who owed her the money to pay her back. Now they were in his dept-and since he charged suprisingly low rates of interest, people'd now be more likely to go for him when they needed money than her.

She didn't even try to console herself that he'd obviously used his invisibility trick to learn the secrets of those she was blackmailing. He not only had an advantage, he knew how to use it.

She had even thought of going to her father to charge the Saotomes rent, seeing how Kinma had so much money. But Kinma had got ahead of her there too. He'd gone to Soun the night before and agreed on a monthly rate-and one that was far lower than Nabiki wanted to charge.

The only money she'd gotten out of him was from carrying him home the night before, and that only because of a freak occurance.

_He _is _better than you._No matter how much she wanted to deny it, no matter how much she loathed the very thought it was the truth. Kinma Saotome had stayed one step ahead of Nabiki, and brought her down.

She looked up above her desk and suddenly stared long and hard at something she hadn't given much thought to lately-her old trophy shelf.

It was filled with various ribbons and trophies from when she'd practiced her familie's art.The crowning piece was the one when she'd taken the FurinkanElemtary sixth gradegirls karate team tothe provincial finals-and won.

Why had she quit?

_Because Akane was better._

Last nights visit to Dr. Tofu's-Nabiki still felt a little sore from the beating she got at Akane's hands-brough back memories of when Akane had started getting good. She and Nabiki had gone at each other and in only 15 seconds the older sister was on the floor.

So Nabiki just quit.

_Is that what I am?_ she thought to herself. _A quitter? Do I just give up went I run into someone better than me?_

She thought for several moments. Kinma Saotome wasn't as good at martial arts as Ranma-Kinma even said so himself.But he hadn't quit because of that. He'd kept at it, was a very capable fighter, and this very morning, had exploited an opening that he saw when Ranma got careless.

_Very well, Saotome _Nabiki thought, _you've convinced me by your own example.You may be on top now, but there's only one way to go from there. One day you'll get careless and then I'll seize the chance and then we'll see who's the master of schemes at Furinkan High._

Feeling better about herself, she got up from the desk to get herself a snack.

Kinma Saotome stood against the wall next to the door of Nabiki's room when she came out. He was invisible; she walked right by without even noticeing. As soon as she was gone, he opened the door and walked into her room.

He had thought again about whatDr. Tofu had said._Perhaps I'll find out if there's anything to that here._

The day since school let out had been rather bizarre. About the same time Nabiki's tennis ball hit Kinma, Akane accidently hit Ranma with a baseball she'd hit. Kinma had walked with them to Dr. Tofu's; the bruise the baseball had left was pretty deep.

And Dr. Tofu's office was one suprise after another. First they found out the job their father told them about was working as the doctor's assistant. And thinkingto attract new business, Dr. Tofu had Genma work as a panda.

And then Kasumi arrived to return the book she'd borrowed. And _then _all hell broke loose.

Dr. Tofu was working on Ranma when he saw Kasumi. Suddenly his glasses fog up, and he acted as if he got his chiropractic degree from the Three Stooges. He mistook Genma for Kasumi, then his model skeleton Betty for Genma. And bent Ranma's neck first to the left, then to the right. Akane had decided to leave just then. Ranma followed her out the door-with his neck still bent.

Kinma wasn't wooried about his brother; Ranma had had far worse injuries. Now he was in Nabiki's room, looking around to see what he could find about her.

He looked up and saw her Trophy Shelf. When had she practiced martial arts? he wondered. Then he looked at her desk. On the bottom left hand corner was a small leatherbound book that had a lock on it. Her diary?

Kinma took it in his hands. It was locked, but he had experience in getting around those. He open it and began to read.

Nabki walked back to her room, a handful of rice cakes in one hand and a warm cup of tea in another. As she came to the door she noticed it was slightly open. She frowned, she was sure she had locked it.

She peered inthrough the crack. What was her diary doing open on her desk? Suddenly it disappeared-then reappeared. Then disappeared again.

Nabiki looked in closer. The light in her room was dim, but the ray coming through the window cut across it, illuminating the falling dust. And the dust falling right front of her diary was forming a faint outline of a man-

Kinma Saotome couldn't believe what he was reading. Nabiki's diary had stretched back to the time of her mother's death when she was nine. She actually wrote about how much she cried.

He read on to Nabiki's early teens, about her friendship with a certain boy, how she actually came to feel something more for him-until that boy rejected her.

_Maybe Dr. Tofu was right about her_,Kinma thought, _maybe there really is more to- _

_-_and all of a sudden kinma felt a warm spsh on his back. He turned around and saw a frowning Nabiki staring straight at him.

"Just when, Saotome, did I give you permission to come into my room and read my diary?"

SLAP!

Kinma walked back to the room he shared with his father and brother. A new bruise was forming on his cheek, shaped like Nabiki's hand. "Dr. Tofu's crazy," he muttered to himself as he opened the door. "That girl's one real cold-hearted bit-"

He stopp as he saw Ranma, his neck still bent of shape, sitting on the floor. On his lap was a book titles **CHIROPRACTORY for BEGINNERS.**

"Your necks still not better, little bro?"

Ranma looked up at Kinma. "It was, Kinma. It was."

End of chaptor five

Author's notes: As you can see, I've decided to go with the slap in the face. It's simple and direct, very Nabiki like. The mallet would be too much of a cliche, and the problem with the hiring thugs was, they'd too likely be th ones to get beat up.

If you wondered why I skimmed over the scene at Dr. Tofu's, it's because I mainly wanted this chapter to focus on Kinma and Nabiki. And if you think I'm going to have Nabiki act OOC, well, yes and no. One thing that seem obvious to me is that the major character traits of the Tendo family-Soun's neroticism, Kasumi's obliviousness, Nabiki's avarice and col heartedness-are all various reactions to the untimely death of Mrs. Tendo. And here you will see Nabiki reacting to situations and pressures she didn't in Takahashi's storyline. Don't worry I won't have her do anything really OOC like try to cook to impress Kinma.

Okay, now it's question time. You all saw Kinma fight and beat Kuno(no suprise, since almost everyone does beat him) Now how well do you think he would fare against Ryoga or Mousse-without becoming invisible. I won't ask about Pantyhose Taro, Happosai or Cologne. He would need to be invisible to stand against Taro, and Cologne or Happi would probably know some way around that.


	6. Chapt 6 Enter Ryoga and Yoiko

Note to Readers: Okay, the first 'volume' of this series was done with the last chapter. Now I plan to slow down a little, as I have some other stories I want to write. This chapter introduces the first new character since chapter 1-unless you count Kiroshi and Genosho, and they're just going to be Kinma's flunkies.

A lot of my reviewers have been asking if what I'm doing is a rehash of the original storyline. Well, the answer is sort of yes and no. I'm following most of the basic stories, but putting my own twists and spins on them, and some I'm going to skip over or completely rewrite. I plan to go on at least until the boys are reunited with their mother. Where I'll go from there-who knows? It's not like Kinma has anything to fear from the seppuku pact. After all, what's unmanly about turning invisible?

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the creations and property of Rumiko Takahashi. No money is being made for their use in this work of Fanfiction-isn't that a shame

To Follow the Ten Thousand Yen Horse Chapter six: Enter Ryoga and Yoiko-the Eternal Lost Brother and Sister 

The people of the small Japanese village ran running for cover. "A wild boar is coming! A wild boar is coming!" Sure enough, a wild boar was running through the village square at top speed.

And straight in it's path a sixteen year old looking boy and a girl some years younger walked barely noticing.

The boar saw the two and went straight for them. It was a huge thing, bigger than a horse, with great long curved tusks that glinted in the afternoon sun.

"Get out of the way you fools!" one of the villagers cried out to the pair.

"That boar's coming straight for you!" shouted another.

But the boy and girl paid no heed, continuing along until the boar was almost at their backs-and stopped dead in its tracks. The boy had pulled a bamboo umbrella from his backpack and thrust it straight into the boar's snout.

The boar tried to continue, but the boy held on-and then, with sudden thrust, sent the boar flying into the sky.

"Unbelievable," said one villager.

"He's so dang strong," another murmured.

"Do you reckon he's human?"

The villagers one by one came out of their hiding places and went over to the boy who had just single-handedly saved their village. "Howdy stranger," one of them said, "do you practice 'them martial arts or something?"

The boy looked at the villagers, then reached into his pocket. He was about medium height, with disheveled black hair he kept bound by a speckled yellow bandana. His female companion was a head shorter and wore her hair in twin braids trailing down her back. She wore a ribbon on top of her head that matched his bandana.

The boy pulled out a sheet of paper, scanned over it, and then asked, "Can one of you tell us the way to Furinkan High School?"

The villagers looked at each other. "Furinkan High School?" One of them took the map from the boy and looked at it.

"Hey!" he said, "this here's a map of Tokyo!"

"Well of course," the bandanna-clad boy. When he opened his mouth he showed a pair of fangs. "It's around here somewhere, isn't it?"

"Boy, you're in Shikokku. Tokyo's more than 500 miles north of here."

The girl whacked her companion on the side of his head. "You got us lost again, big brother!"

Ranma-chan ran through the halls, wearing only her boxers and a towel draped

over her shoulders. "No way!"

"Come back here, Ranma!" Nabiki cried out as she and Kasumi chased after Ranma. The cursed boy and his cursed brother had been in the dojo courtyard sparring when it started raining. And they had been wearing their only clean clothes.

The sisters turned around a corner Ranma had just gone-then blinked. The almost naked redhead was nowhere to be seen.

"He's in here." Suddenly the door to the hallway closet opened. And inside was Ranma.

"I'll get you for this Kinma!" Ranma cried out, then stared at Kasumi and Nabiki. "I'm not wearing girl's clothes!"

"But Ranma, it's just for a little while," Nabiki said. "You can't just sit around the house naked."

"And all your clothes are in the wash," added Kasumi. "Please Ranma, it's just for an hour or two, then I can draw you and Kinma a nice hot bath.

"Your brother can go around like that; we don't have to look at him." Now Nabiki really peered into Ranma's eyes. "You, Kinma, and your father are our tenants. And your hot baths raise up our gas bill."

"In other words," Kinma's voice said, "if you don't do as they say, Nabiki's going to talk with Mr. Tendo about raising our rent. And I'M the one who's paying it, not the old man. Next time you need money, don't come to me. And I still have the negatives for those pictures I sold to Kuno. My buddy Kiroshi has a computer with a photo scanner. If somehow they were to get on the internet-."

"You wouldn't!"

"Gee, and I thought my little brother knew me."

Ranma _did_ know her brother. Kinma Saotome wouldn't steal, deal in drugs or prostitution. He also never threw a fight on purpose. Past that, he'd do anything to make or save a few yen. Grasping at straws, she yelled "I'll pound you!"

"Has that ever stopped me?"

Ranma looked at Nabiki, Kasumi, and where her invisible brother's voice came from, and then hung her head in defeat. "Okay."

Akane closed her umbrella and took off her shoes. She'd gone to the mall with her friend Yuka and Sakureka when the rain broke out. Just as she closed the door, she heard the unmistakable sound of raucous laughter coming from her room.

Her jaw dropped when she open the door. Inside was Ranma-chan, wearing one of Akane's summer dresses and a pissed-off expression on her face. Kasumi and Nabiki were brushing Ranma's hair that they took out of the usual pigtail. And Kinma was doing what any caring, sympathetic older brother in his shoes would have done.

Laughing like a hyena in a chamber filled with laughing gas.

"Oh boy, that's definitely you, little bro," he managed between guffaws. _When I get visible again, Ranma's gonna kill me._

Akane looked at Ranma and her sisters, at first mad that her dress was being used without her permission, then couldn't help herself. She laughed too.

Nabiki stood back and looked at Ranma. "Let's see," she mused, "I think you need some jewelry." Ranma's face got red.

"Or maybe some make-up," added Kasumi. Ranma got even redder.

"Hey!" Akane jumped in. "How about some perfume?"

Kinma roared even louder.

Nabiki got behind Ranma and grabbed her hair. "Hey. Why don't we try doing his hair-." she pulled it out into two bobbing ponytails-"like this? Or-." She then pulled it back into a bun-"like this?"

"Good thing you're not wearing Nabiki's clothes," Kinma guffawed, "or the chest would suffocate you!"

Clinching her jaw, Nabiki calculated just where the sound of Kinma's voice came from. Hoping she judged right, she grabbed a cup of hot tea and threw it.

The tea landed right on Kinma's stomach. Kinma suddenly blinked to find himself visible-and his female brother glaring straight at him.

CRASH! SLAM! POW!

The bandanna-clad boy and his sister just rounded the corner. It was late in the afternoon and they saw a group of boys in school uniforms shouting in relief that the school day was over.

Quickly the boy grabbed one and thrust him against a yard gate wall. "Excuse me," he said in a threatening manner, "where is Furinkan High School?" The captive pointed frantically to a plaque at his right. The bandannad boy looked. Sure enough, the kanji read **Furinkan High School.**

The boy let go of his captive, who immediately ran off. "At last," he chuckled grimly, "I've found you. I've found you both. Soon, Ranma Saotome, you will pay. And you too, Kinma Saotome, for what you did to my sister!"

"Come back here Ranma!" Akane yelled. She was chasing her fiancé across the schoolyard, waving her book bag. Ranma stared back and stuck out his tongue.

"You too Kinma!" Nabiki cried as she chased her own fiancé alongside her sister. She didn't know what Ranma had done to anger Akane, but Kinma had foiled another of her moneymaking schemes. He wasn't content with his own plans; he had to ruin hers as well.

Kinma looked back at her. "Like I'd really let you catch me, stick girl!" he leered at Nabiki. He then looked at his brother, who nodded. Both of them leapt up into the air-

-and were greeted by a lone figure coming down at them with a bamboo umbrella shouting "Ranma, Kinma, prepare to die!"

The stranger landed the knob of his umbrella down on the cement. The two brothers landed on their feet, then leapt away just before the pavement underneath exploded.

The stranger looked at the two brothers. "At last," he grimaced, "at least I've found you Ranma and Kinma."

Ranma scratched his head. "Who are you?"

Akane and Nabiki suddenly came up to the Saotome brothers. "Ranma, do you know this guy?" Akane asked. Ranma just looked puzzled.

"I feel as if I've been waiting for this moment for thousands of years." Ranma still looked puzzled.

"Do you know him or don't you?" Akane asked again. Ranma shook his head.

"Don't tell me you don't remember?" the boy cried, his open mouth showing a pair of fangs. Ranma shrugged. "Then tell me one thing, then-why didn't you show up for the fight?"

Realization was suddenly coming down on Ranma when a girl who looked about thirteen or fourteen ran up to the stranger. "Get 'em, big brother!" she cried, showing the same fangs as the boy.

Kinma looked at the girl, then suddenly blinked in comprehension. "Yoiko-chan?"

The girl looked at Kinma. "Don't call me that!"

Ranma suddenly slapped his fist against the palm of his hand. "Hey I remember. You're a classmate from my old junior high school, Ryoga Hibiki. How ya doing, Ryoga? Long time no see!"

Ryoga glared even harder at Ranma. "Why didn't you come to the fight?" he cried again.

"Uh, Ryoga, I waited for you at the place we agreed at for three days."

Akane gasped. "Three days?"

"Sure, you waited three days." Ryoga's face got even grimmer. "But when I showed up on the fourth day, you already left with your father and your worthless brother!"

"Fourth day?" Akane and Nabiki both cried out at once.

"Uh Ryoga?" Let me ask you a question. Why did I have to wait _three_ whole days you to show up at the vacant lot behind YOUR HOUSE?"

"Idiot!" Ryoga cried. "Do you think I was running all around Japan for my health?"

A small crowd of students had gathered around the scene. "It took him four days?" asked a classmate of Ranma's named Daisuke.

"He must have a very bad sense of direction," said his buddy Hiroshi.

"Still, that's a VERY bad sense of direction."

"And then," Ryoga continued, "when I came to the lot, I not only found you gone, but I ran into Yoiko!" He turned to Kinma. "She was crying her eyes out because of what YOU did to her, Kinma Saotome!"

"But I didn't do-." Kinma began.

"Enough of this chatter!" Ryoga opened his umbrella. "For my honor and my sister's, I'm going to destroy happiness for the both of you!"

"Our-our happiness?" Ranma looked at Akane. "Tell me Akane, are either Kinma or me happy?"

"What are you asking me for?"

Ryoga twirled his umbrella at Ranma and Kinma who both leapt out of the way. The umbrella returned to Ryoga's hand. "This is for revenge?"

"Revenge?" Ranma asked.

"What did I do to your sister to set you after me?" Kinma asked. "I thought your grudge was with my brother."

Ryoga swung his umbrella like a club at both of them. Ranma dodged, while Kinma blocked with his staff. "Because of you two, Yoiko and I have both seen hell!"

The martial artist brothers leapt and land behind their classmates. "Heh. Running away again. Like usual." He shoved his umbrella back onto his backpack-and ran in the opposite direction.

His sister Yoiko ran after him. "Big brother, wait!" she cried. "You're going the wrong way!"

"Tell us the truth, Ranma," Akane said. They were in the Tendo sitting room with the sliding door open to the courtyard. Ranma-chan was drying herself off with a towel. She had just had another sparring session with her brother-and both ended up in the koi pond. "Just what is it with you, Kinma and those two?"

"It started back in last year in junior high, before we and Pop left for China," Ranma-chan said. "I went to an all boy's school and Kinma to the high school connected to it. Lunchtime was always a war….."

"_All right boys," the lunch lady cried out as she held up a piece of bread, "this is the last curry bread of the day!" She tossed it up over the mob of hungry schoolboys._

_Ryoga Hibiki reached up over his classmates. "I've got it, I've got it-!"_

_And suddenly someone's feet landed on his head. The stranger then grabbed the bread and landed on the floor._

_Ryoga glared daggers at the stranger, who had just begun to eat. "Who, who are you?"_

"_Ranma Saotome."_

"_Ranma!" Ryoga shouted. "You stole my bread! I will never forgive you!"_

Ranma shook her head, trying to remember. "Then there was the…."

"_The last croquette bread of the day!"_

"_The last melon bread!"_

"_Meat bread!"_

"_Cutlet Sandwich!"_

"-and there was also the egg bread, potato bread, salad sandwich, soup bread-wait, there's no such thing."

"Sounds like the straws," Akane muttered, "that broke the camel's back."

Ranma turned to her. "Hey, I got that bread fair and square!"

"That's right, little bro." Akane, Kasumi, Nabiki and Ranma turned to the doorway were Kinma's voice came from. Suddenly Kinma appeared, with a kettle of warm water in one hand and a letter in the other.

"Oh dear." Kasumi wheezed. "You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but Kinma, you frightened me."

"Oh. Sorry." Kinma walked over Ranma and handed her the letter. "That's from Hibiki."

"Oh." Ranma opened the letter and read while Kinma poured the hot water that made her into a him again. "It's a challenge.

"Say," Nabiki said as she looked at Kinma, "what is it with you and that sister of his, what was her name?"

"Yoiko."

"Yes." Now Nabiki smiled. "You called her Yoiko-chan. Was she your girlfriend and you dumped her?"

"No!" Kinma answered. "It wasn't like that. She was a friend, that's all. Besides, she's too young for me."

"So you say."

Now Kinma looked at Nabiki. "Look, I met Yoiko one day when I was walking home from school…"

_Kinma was walking down the street from school, a big smile on his face. He'd cleaned up again at another poker game, and he'd just learned that Jiro Shitawki had aced his midterms by cheating. Jiro's family was very rich, and would be disgraced if they found out-which made a perfect set up for blackmail._

_He rounded corner when he suddenly came upon a cadre of four boys wearing masks surrounding a very young and frightened-looking girl._

"_Stop!" the girl cried. "Leave me alone!"_

"_Sure, said the boy in a tiger mask, "right after you hand us your money."_

"_Hey!" The hoodlums suddenly turned and saw Kinma staring at them. _

"_Beat it, four eyes," the boy in a cat mask said, "this don't concern you."_

"_Yeah," said another boy wearing an octopus mask added. "We don't like to hit guys wearing glasses."_

"_Oh very well." Kinma pulled off his glasses and placed them in his pocket. "That better?"_

"_If you insist." Sneered the biggest of the gang, who wore a gorilla mask. "C'mon, guys, let's get 'im!"_

_In less than one minute all four of the gang were down, with their arms and legs twisted in various directions. _

_Kinma sighed as he put his glasses back on. These four had been so easy he didn't even need his staff. He reached down and grabbed the gorilla-boy by the collar. "All right punk, he snarled, "I ever catch you and your buddies bothering this girl or anyone else, I won't beat you up. I'll send in my little brother. And he's a lot meaner than I am!" He let go of the hoodlum, who dropped to the ground._

_The girl walked up to Kinma and bowed. "Thanks, mister-?"_

"_Kinma Saotome." Kinma "What's your name?"_

"_Yoiko Hibiki."_

"Oh," Nabiki raised her eyebrow. "So you rescued this girl from some bullies and now she wants her brother to kill you."

"Hey it's the truth!" Kinma shot back. "I walked he to where she lived-she was on her way home from school and kind of got lost-and soon after, I started walking her to and from school everyday. Sometimes we'd stop by the arcade or pool hall on the way. I tought her how to play some and how to hustle. I also taught her some martial arts so she could protect herself. Her brother taught her a little too, when he was around-they both have some sort of directional problem. I did call her Yoiko-chan and she called me Kinma-kun. But we were just friends."

"Uh huh." But in spite of herself, Nabiki did believe Kinma-if for no other reason than he was obviously smart enough to think of a more convincing lie.

Akane took the challenge letter from Ranma and began to read it. "Hey," she called out, "this letter says the challenge was yesterday."

"No problem." Ranma said. "That guy's got the world's worst sense of direction. He's probably down in Okinawa right now."

"Yeah." Kinma pushed his glasses back on his head. "And Yoiko's got the same problem. But they always seem to be able to find each other."

End of chapter six

Why is Yoiko so mad at Kinma? In this case, Kinma is innocent-the real blame belongs to a certain bald overweight martial-artist and part-time panda.

In the next chapter Ryoga's curse is revealed-and it's not a pig he turns into this time. Instead, it's an animal that's going to make it rather hard for Kinma to sneak into Nabiki's room even when he's invisible.

And finally, here's a question for you readers. Kinma as you can see, love to make money, and even without his invisibility curse he can outdo Nabiki. Why is he so money-hungry, and how did he get so good?

Any reader who wishes to do fanart of this series has my permission. I'd do some myself, but my drawing is worse than Akane's cooking!


	7. Chapt 7 Ranma vs Ryoga Kinma vsYoiko?

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. I only own Kinma Saotome, Yoiko Hibiki, and any new characters I may add later. And I can't sue anyone who decides to steal them, because I have no money.

Sorry it took me so long to add this chapter. I've just had a hard time writing it down. Hopefully my writers block is gone by now, and I'll be able to add chapter eight soon.

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

**Chapter Seven:**

School is a Battlefield: Ranma vs. Ryoga-Kinma vs.…Yoiko?

"I can't believe you, Big Brother!" Yoiko Hibiki cried as she brought the kettle of warm water to her brother's cursed form. She dumped a clean shirt and pair of pants next to him, and then poured the water. "There," she said as she put the kettle down and walked past him, "I'll get your clothes from the creek while you get dressed. But if this happens again I'm leaving you like that! At least _YOU _don't have to worry about getting eaten now that we're no longer in China!"

"Oh shut up Yoiko," Ryoga snapped as he put on his clothes, "Your sense of direction's no better than mine."

Yoiko fished her brother's clothes from the creek and turned back to the camp she'd set up. "I may be directionally challenged like the rest of our family, but at least I never walked straight into a creek, river or pond! Don't you know not to walk while you're trying to read a map?"

"Hey, it said there was a bridge up ahead!" Ryoga then sighed. "Okay, little sister, since you're so smart, what to you think we should do?"

Yoiko looked at the map her brother had been trying to read right before he fell into the creek ahead. "It says there's a good sized town up ahead of here. If we can get there by tomorrow, we'll see if there's a bus station. We should have enough money from that poker game I won in Osaka to get a bus to Tokyo-maybe even to Nerima."

"Yes," Ryoga smiled evilly as picked up a bunch of walnuts and ground them in his fist. "And then we'll get our revenge on those two brothers who've made our lives so miserable."

Yoiko smiled back at her brother, showing the fangs that the Hibiki clan shared along with an unbelievably bad sense of direction. "Right. Soon, very soon, we'll take care them. That will be the last time you fool with this girl, Kinma-_kun._" She loaded the affectionate term with sarcasm.

One week later at Furinkan High School… 

"What is the meaning of this?" Nabiki Tendo cried out to Kiroshi at the Furinkan High athletics field where, after a week and a half of waiting, Ryoga and Yoiko Hibiki had finally arrived to settle matters with the Saotome brothers.

Kiroshi stared back at Nabiki; now that she wasn't Furinkan High School's top racketeer anymore she no longer intimidated him the way she had. "Kinma cut a deal with the school board to get permission so he and Ranma could hold the match on the field. Anyone who wants to watch has to pay Genosho or me a one hundred and fifty-yen admission fee. After the fight, the school gets half the profits."

"Oh very well," Nabiki grumbled as she reached into her pocketbook and pulled out her money. She handed Kiroshi the coin and walked past him. Why hadn't she ever thought of anything like that?

Ranma faced Ryoga at the opposite end of the field from him. Kinma was right behind him, leaning on his ever-present Bo-staff. "You ready Ryoga?" the pigtailed boy called out.

"I feel like I've been waiting for thousand years, Saotome."

"You tell him, Big Brother!" Yoiko cried out from behind her sibling.

"Okay." Ranma suddenly reached back, and then threw something at Ryoga. "Here, catch!"

Ryoga glanced down at the object he'd suddenly caught in his hands. "A-a curry bread?"

"Well, that's what started this whole thing, wasn't it?" Ranma said.

"Ranma, just what do you take me for!" Ryoga cried back.

"Jeez you're greedy!" Ranma threw more objects at Ryoga. "Here's your lousy croquette bread! And your lousy chow-mien bread! And your melon bread! Your meat bread! Cutlet sandwich! And Seaweed bread!" Ryoga stared at the wrapped packages Ranma had thrown at him in disbelief. "Well? I didn't forget anything did I?"

Ryoga threw all the packages down in disgust. "What do you take me for, Ranma?"

"Well, that's what this is about, isn't it?" asked Ranma.

"As if a few breads will avenge the insult to our family honor!" Ryoga shouted then looked back at Ranma. "Besides, these are all past the sell by date!"

Ranma shrugged. "So, I guess you want to finish the fight, huh?"

"Finish it!" Ryoga drew his umbrella from his back and charged. "The fight has just begun! This is revenge!"

Ranma jumped up and Ryoga leaped after him. "Revenge? Revenge for what? What did I do to you to make you want revenge for?"

"Because of you and your brother, Ranma, my sister and I have seen Hell!" Ryoga lunged his umbrella at Ranma, who quickly dodged. "And after I'm finished with you, you're brother gets his for what he did to Yoiko!"

Kinma heard those last words. _What did I do? _he wondered as he looked at the girl who had been his friend. She looked back, nothing but ice in her eyes.

Nabiki sat watching the fight, her two friends and cronies Keiko and Megumi right beside her. "So, Nabiki," Keiko asked as they saw Ranma swerve and dodge Ryoga's blows, "are we going to run a bet on this?"

Nabiki shook her head. "Not today ladies. We're just going to sit tight and watch. If we're lucky, today Kinma Saotome's going down a peg or two." Earlier that day she saw Kiroshi and Genosho running a betting sheet with three to one odds on Ryoga. Apparently Kinma was planning on his brother beating Ryoga and cleaning up on the betting. But if things went the other way….

"I don't know why you object being engaged to him," Keiko asked. "Not only is he a wiz with money, he's such a hunk too! I'd be thrilled to be his betrothed."

"Oh really?" Nabiki handed her a picture of Genma. "That's what he's going to look like in fifteen to twenty years."

"Yeah, besides he'd probably play you for a sucker, Keiko," added Megumi.

"What's the matter?" Nabiki asked. Megumi looked unusually glum.

"It's just-today, during lunch, he came to me and showed me some photos."

"What sort of photos?" Nabiki asked.

"Promise you two won't tell anyone?" Nabiki and Keiko both nodded. "I was cheating on Kenzo."

Nabiki didn't know what to say. Megumi and Kenzo had been an item since junior high. For her to cheat on him-it was just unthinkable.

"Oh Nabiki, what am I going to do? Kinma said unless I pay him 500 yen a week he'd show them to Kenzo! It was a one-time thing and it was stupid and I don't want to lose Kenzo! You've got help me, Nabiki!"

Nabiki clinched her teeth. True, she'd blackmailed people in similar cases, but Megumi was her friend. And Kinma had taken down the racket that took her more than a year to build up. Someway, somehow, he would pay this day.

Ranma and Ryoga continued fighting, mainly with Ryoga striking and Ranma dodging. Enraged that his opponent wasn't hitting back, Ryoga opened his umbrella and threw it twirling at Ranma. The pigtailed boy dodged again, and the umbrella arced around and landed on the ground next to Akane.

Ryoga smirked. "Feh. Dodging like the coward you are, Saotome." He ran up to Ranma, and before the pigtailed boy noticed, slapped a handcuff on Ranma's right wrist then the other on his own left. "Lets see how well you run away now!"

Ranma swerved Ryoga's punch. "How many times do I have to tell you Ryoga, I didn't run away. It was your crummy sense of direction."

"Shut up and fight, Ranma!"

Genosho and Kiroshi walked up to Kinma after they just took all the signatures they could. "What are we going to do, Kinma? The pot's 100,000 yen. That guy beats your brother, we're broke!"

"Don't worry Kiroshi," Kinma said with more certainty than he felt. "Ranma will beat him." _You better, little bro._

"Hey!" Kinma looked behind him and saw Hiroshi and Daisuke struggling to lift Ryoga's umbrella. "This thing weighs a ton!"

Akane then tried to lift it. She moved it a little farther than the two boys but still couldn't get it off the ground. _But Ryoga swings it with just one hand!_ "Hey Ranma!" she cried out. "Get away from him! He's as strong as a monster!"

Kinma walked over to Akane. He bent down and, with a little grunt, picked up and hefted the umbrella. "I don't think Ranma will have any trouble, Akane."

Akane gasped in amazement as she looked at Kinma, then back at Ranma and Ryoga.

_How strong _are _those boys?_ she wondered.

Ranma suddenly leaped between Ryoga's legs, pulling the lost boy's upper torso with him. He straightened up, with Ryoga bent over. "Had enough, Ryoga?" he smirked.

"Huh." Ryoga grunted. He reached out with his free arm, and with a single push, sent himself and Ranma high into the air.

"Man, he did that with just one hand!" an awed spectator cried.

Nabiki watched with consternation. If this fight lasted too long, then Ryoga would be too exhausted to take on Kinma even if he beat Ranma. Somehow she had to arrange it so Ryoga beat Ranma quickly, and then could still take on Kinma. Not only would Kinma get a beating, he'd lose all the money he'd made from his admission scheme, and likely owe the school as well.

But how could she do it?

Ranma punched at Ryoga with his free hand while using his other hand to twist the handcuff chain. With a sudden SNAP the chain broke, leaving him free again.

The two boys landed near Akane. Ryoga picked up his umbrella and charged at Ranma again.

Ryoga suddenly felt someone grab his arm. Turning his head, he saw Nabiki smiling at him.

"Don't worry, Ryoga I'm on your side." She held forth handful of tablets and a small glass of water. "Have you ever heard of steroids? Take these, and you'll have no rivals. You'll be an Atlas. Hercules would be a wimp compared to you. You'll be a tiger. A tiger!"

Ryoga looked at the pills dubiously, and then took them in his hand. He popped them into his mouth and swallowed them with the water. "Ah. I can feel them working!" he cried out as he grabbed a piece of pipe rail from the bleachers and tore it loose. "Ranma here I come!" Ryoga charged Ranma and swung both his umbrella and the pipe at him.

"Ah, Nabiki, those are just vitamin tablets you gave him, right?" Keiko asked.

"Mm-hmm," Nabiki nodded.

"The power of suggestion is a wonderful thing indeed." Megumi said in awe.

Ranma leaped as he dodged another of Ryoga's blows. "Even if those pills are making ya strong, Ryoga, you're still as slow as ever!" the pigtailed boy taunted his rival. Ryoga looked up and threw his umbrella. The sharp edge of the cap barely missed Ranma's chest-and tore a diagonal line in his red Chinese silk shirt.

Ranma looked down the shirt after he landed, and glared at Ryoga. "Hey, you just tore my favorite shirt!"

Ryoga cocked and eyebrow as he retrieved his umbrella. "Whining over a torn shirt. Ranma, you sound like a girl!"

"Well, we've got nothing to worry about now guys," Kinma said to Kiroshi and Genosho.

"How's that, Kinma?" Kiroshi asked.

"Ryoga just called my brother a girl. Nothing makes Ranma madder than being called that." _Unlike most he doesn't lose his focus when he gets angry. If anything, it only gets sharper._

"WHO are you calling a girl? I'm a guy!" Ranma cried as he charged. Ryoga jumped out of the way. Ranma leapt after him, still screaming.

The two combatants landed behind some trees from the view of the spectators. All of a sudden, a huge gusher of water rose from behind the grove.

"Uh-oh," said Kinma. "That was-."

"-The school water fountain!" Akane finished. She, Kinma, Nabiki, and a handful of other students took off in towards the grove. Making sure of the direction there were going, Yoiko followed after them.

As the gusher of water came at Ryoga he immediately opened his umbrella and shielded himself. As he landed, suddenly a small red fury came charging out of the water.

"Come on Ryoga, fight me!" Ranma-chan cried out she kicked at Ryoga.

"Ra-Ranma?" Ryoga stuttered. The clothes were right, the height and hair color were all wrong-as well as what was poking through the rip in the shirt.

"Just who did you think it was, you jerk? C'mon, lets fight!"

"Ranma, your shirt!" Kinma cried at as he, Akane, Nabiki, and Yoiko caught up to them.

Ranma looked down and saw the ends of her breasts jutting out through the tear in her shirt. Quickly she crossed her arms over her exposed bosom.

"You mean you didn't notice," Akane asked, "that you became a girl?"

Ranma looked at Akane then at Ryoga. "You-you're a girl?" the lost boy stammered out.

Ranma cast down her eyes. "Go ahead Ryoga. I don't know what it was Kinma and I did that made you and your sister hate us so much, but consider this curse I have your revenge! Laugh at me, both of you! As loud as you can!"

"Hehehehehehehehe. Hahahahahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!" Ryoga and Yoiko fell to their sides, roaring with laughter. Then all of a sudden, they both got to their feet and glared at Ranma.

"How could anyone call it a curse to have a beautiful body like that!" Ryoga cried.

"You think it's a curse to be a girl!" Yoiko shot out.

Ryoga reached towards his head and pulled of his bandana-then another-then another-and finally one more-and there was still one on his head. "I don't normally like to hurt girls, Ranma. But in you're case-," he twirled the bandannas and sent them flying, "-I'll make an exception!"

Ranma quickly leapt out of the way from the flying bandannas. Akane turned. "I'll go get some hot water-." She said. Suddenly Ranma shoved her down-and a flying bandanna narrowly missed them.

Ryoga threw his umbrella at Ranma, who had just pulled herself and Akane up. Ranma kicked the umbrella, caught its handle, and then leapt up into the trees with Akane.

Ryoga looked at Kinma. "Just before I finish of your brother, here!" he grabbed the bandanna on his head and threw it at Kinma before running off into the trees.

Kinma deflected the bandanna with his staff. "All right, Hibiki," he growled. "I was willing to let Ranma handle you. But if you want a piece of me, I'm ready!"

He started to run after Ryoga but suddenly tripped. He looked back and saw Yoiko had removed her ribbon and used it as a whip to wrap around his legs. "Ryoga can have your brother," she smiled. Her fangs, which Kinma normally thought made her look cute, now only mad her look viscous. "You're all mine, Kinma-_kun._"

Kinma kicked his leg free of the ribbon and got up to his feet. "What is this all about, Yoiko?"

Yoiko whipped her ribbon at Kinma. "Don't play dumb with me, Kinma. You aren't good at it!"

Kinma dodged quickly. _Damn it, my staff's no good here and I can't dodge like Ranma can._ "Why are you doing this?"

"As if words could convey what I've suffered!" Yoiko reached into the pocket of her overalls and hurled something at Kinma.

Kinma felt something cut across his cheek, and then thud into the tree beside him. He glanced at it. "The Ace of Spades?"

Yoiko smiled. "Appropriate, since you taught me how to play! And here!" She threw something else at Kinma who quickly blocked with his staff. "Poker chips?"

Nabiki stood watching Kinma and Yoiko. Obviously the girl wasn't up to the level of her brother, Ranma, Kinma, or even Akane. But Kinma was doing his best not to hurt her, while Yoiko was doing her best TO hurt him.

_He really does have no idea why she's so mad at him,_ Nabiki realized. She saw Kinma backing up towards her. She smirked. Now was her chance to make him pay.

Kinma suddenly trip backwards. Looking up he saw Nabiki looking down at him. "What are you doing here, Nabiki!"

"Just getting some revenge on you for blackmailing my friend Megumi. And for bringing down my operation, Kinma-baby."

"Heh," grunted Kinma. "If she didn't want to be blackmailed she shouldn't have fooled around on her boyfriend. Don't tell me you've never done anything like that, stick-girl. And that little racket of yours was nothing. I've dealt with people who could take a spoiled brat like you and send you crying back to Mommy and Daddy!"

Nabiki bristled at the last sentence. "Is that what you think I am?"

Meanwhile Ranma-chan was sitting in the tree arguing with Akane. "Don't you know not to but in on a fight between two guys, Akane?"

"Two guys? I don't see a guy here, only you!"

Ryoga came up to the tree. "So, he ducks out on our fight to flirt with a girl, eh?"

Yoiko came up to Kinma and Nabiki quarreling. "So, he's plotting to try himself on another girl, eh?"

Ryoga pulled the belt from his pants, and with an effort of will, straightened it into a blade.

Yoiko coiled up her ribbon-whip, and with an effort of will, straightened it into a long, erect blade.

Ryoga deftly made two cuts into the tree trunk. Ranma and Akane suddenly found themselves falling straight to the ground. Ryoga jumped up and whipped his belt at Ranma, who blocked with Ryoga's own umbrella. The belt tore it in half.

Ranma suddenly grabbed onto Akane. "I aint holdin' ya because I like you or nothing!"

SLAP!

Yoiko bulled back her ribbon-blade and sent it flying at Kinma and Nabiki. Kinma suddenly heard the ribbon twirling and, without thinking, grabbed Nabiki and pulled her down to the ground.

Ranma and Akane landed on the ground, then looked at each other. "A-Akane-." Ranma stammered.

"Ignore me will you!" Ryoga cried as he twirled he belt towards them. Ranma saw the belt coming and immediately kicked it up and away.

She then looked back at Akane, who was going over to where Kinma and Nabiki had fallen. "Akane-." Ranma continued.

"Don't bother. I couldn't care less." Suddenly she turned around. "I want nothing to do with you!"

And Ryoga's belt came down-and sliced of Akane's ponytail.

Akane just stood there, staring blankly into space. Ranma waved a hand in front of her. A-Akane?"

Ryoga suddenly came up to Akane. "I think she's in shock."

Suddenly Akane blinked and she came to herself. "Nabiki!" she called as she ran over to her sister.

Kinma was trying to help Nabiki to he feet, but she wouldn't accept it. "Why'd you want to help a 'spoiled brat' like me, Kinma baby?" She tried to stand up. "Ow!"

"Here, let me help you." Akane went up to Nabiki and took her arm over her shoulder.

"Thanks sis." said Nabiki. She looked at Kinma, who suddenly cast down his eyes, then at her sister. "Akane, your hair!"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'll get it fixed up later." Akane looked at her sister's leg. "I think that's twisted. I'll take you to Doctor Tofu's."

"Wait." The two girls looked at Kinma, and at Ranma-chan, who just came up to her brother. And suddenly Ryoga and Yoiko also came to the two sisters.

"Hit me, both of you." Kinma said. "It'll make you both feel better."

"Hit me too!" Ranma said. "You know you want it."

"And me!" Ryoga added. "Both of you get rid of that anger."

"And me!" Yoiko chimed in. Ryoga started to say _No _but Yoiko brushed him off. "I deserve it as much as these three. C'mon, land me a good one right here!"

The two sisters looked at each other for a moment, then at the four.

As they turned away with Akane supporting Nabiki, all four were sporting black eyes and swollen cheeks.

"Eager to please, aren't they?" Ryoga mumbled.

"Yep. Ranma and Kinma nodded in agreement.

End of Chapter 7

I know I promised that Ryoga's curse would be revealed in this chapter, but I just couldn't think of a way to write it in. Don't worry, it'll be shown in the next chapter. And to answer the question of one reviewer, yes, Yoiko also has a curse.

When Genma learned of the Neko-Ken, Kinma was already too old to undergo it. But he does have a certain phobia that relates to Yoiko in a terrible way.


	8. Chapt 8 Transformation of the Hibikis

Disclaimer: I'm getting tired of writing these but here goes. Ranma ½ and all related characters are the creation and property of

Rumiko Takahashi. All original characters here are mine, but I can't sue because I have no money.

As some of the readers may have guessed by now, Kinma had taught Yoiko a few of his moneymaking tricks and she uses them to support herself and Ryoga when they're traveling. She's not up to Kinma or Nabiki's level, but she's good enough to clean up a dockside poker game or hustle your better than average pool shark-of course, who'd take a thirteen year old girl seriously in that type of thing?

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

By

Robert K. Hackney

Chapter Seven: The Transformation of Ryoga and Yoiko

Ranma Saotome sat on the roof of the Tendo dojo. He had in his lap the ponytail that Ryoga's belt cut off, and looked at it long and hard.

_I want nothing to do with you! _Those words Akane had said cut deeper to him than he would have thought they could have.

"Thinking about what happened this afternoon, little bro?"

Ranma turned around and saw Kinma standing right behind him. "Yeah," he said. "I really screwed up today, didn't I?"

"We both did, little bro." Kinma agreed. He sat down beside his brother. "I don't want to marry her or nothing, but I didn't want Nabiki to get hurt like that."

"Ryoga just about always had it in for me, but what's it with you and his sister?" Ranma asked, trying to change the subject. "I mean you guys were pretty close friends when we lived in their neighborhood."

"I wish I knew. I have no idea at all what made Yoiko so mad." Kinma then looked down the lump of hair in Ranma's lap. "And I think we better apologize to Akane and Nabiki too."

The two brothers got down from the roof and walked inside the house. They found Kasumi in the kitchen, sweeping up a huge mess.

She looked at the Saotome brothers. "I'm sorry. Akane came in earlier and when I saw her haircut I was a little shocked."

"Where are they now?" Ranma asked.

"At Dr. Tofu's. Nabiki's leg was twisted pretty bad, and after I fixed up her hair, Akane helped her walk over there." Kasumi dumped the last of the spilled food into the garbage then set out to cook supper for later.

At Dr. Tofu's clinic, Nabiki lay on a cot while the doctor was working on her leg. "That's the second time this month you've come in, Nabiki. Are you taking up your old training again?"

"No." Nabiki said wearily. "Kinma and Ranma were have a fight with a couple of other kids, and I kind of got caught up in it."

Dr. Tofu looked back at Akane. "Oh, your hair's short again. I was so concerned about your sister, I didn't notice at first."

"Oh," Akane blushed for a minute. As Dr. Tofu went back to working Nabiki's leg, she suddenly recalled a similar scene five years ago.

_Dr. Tofu had just straightened out twelve-year-old Nabiki's legs. "There you go," he said, "good as new." He turned back and smiled at Akane. "Try to be a little easier on your sister next time you two spar. If you keep beating her up like this, she may get crippled for life!"_

"_Okay." Akane said. Her hair was boyishly short and she was wearing light green overalls. A bandaged cloth covered a bruise were Nabiki's fist had connected to her left cheek. She may have got the best of her older sister but she hadn't come through the session completely unscathed._

"_Hello." Akane, Nabiki and Dr. Tofu turned and saw Kasumi standing in the doorway. She had just finished school and was still in her Furinkan high school uniform. "I'm here to pick up my sisters."_

"_He-here they are, Ka-Kasumi." Dr. Tofu stuttered out the words as his glasses steamed up._

_Nabiki got up off the cot. "Hey, it's like I never got hurt at all!" _

_Kasumi walked over to Nabiki and saw the light bruises on her face. She then turned to Akane. "Did you beat up Nabiki again? What am I going to do with you?"_

_Akane turned down here eyes. "I'm sorry."_

"_Do-don't worry about Akane!" Dr. Tofu stammered. "He-he's just a healthy boy!"_

_Akane hung her head as she, Nabiki and Kasumi walked back home. Dr. Tofu had just called her a boy!_

"_I swear Akane," Kasumi said, "sometimes I feel like I have a boy for a sister!"_

"_You mean Akane is REALLY_ _a girl?" Nabiki said in mock amazement._

"_Nabiki!" Kasumi scolded, then looked at Akane. "Akane, if you don't start acting like a girl, Dr. Tofu won't like you anymore!"_

I wonder," _Akane thought to herself, _if I grew my hair long like Kasumi, maybe Dr. Tofu will like me better.

"Well, short hair always did suit you better," Dr. Tofu said as he just finished Nabiki's leg. "There you are, Nabiki. Now go easy on that leg. No jogging for a week and go easy when you play tennis, okay?"

"Sure." Nabiki flexed her leg, then got up off the cot and paid him. "Thanks Dr. Tofu.

"Anytime now." Dr. Tofu waved goodbye to the two girls he'd been treating since they were little.

Nabiki looked at Akane for a moment. "What's the matter sis?"

"Oh nothing."

"You never were very good at lying, Akane. Now what is it?" Akane just looked down, but Nabiki held her face between her hands and looked straight into Akane's eyes. "It's Dr. Tofu, isn't it? You grew your hair long for him, didn't you?"

Akane's face crumpled up and she threw her arms around her sister. "Oh Nabiki!" she sobbed on Nabiki's shoulder.

Nabiki held her sister to her. "There, there," she said quietly. "Let it all out."

After crying for nearly one full minute, Akane pulled away from her sister and wiped her eyes. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Akane." Nabiki smiled in spite of herself.

"And I'm over him. Dr. Tofu's in love with Kasumi. I just needed to get it out of my system."

The two sisters continued walking back home when all of a sudden they came upon Kinma and Ranma walking on the canal rail.

"Hi, uh, Akane." Ranma said. He hadn't quite recognized her at first, with her newly short hair. "Uh, your hair looks good."

"Thanks." Akane said, but kept walking down with Nabiki. The two brothers turned around to follow their fiancées.

"Akane!" Ranma said. Akane and Nabiki stopped, turned around and looked at him. "I just want to say that I'm, uh, sorry."

"Are you feeling okay, Ranma?" Akane asked.

"Hey, I'm trying to apologize here!" Ranma shouted.

"Me too." Kinma reached back and threw a small bundle at Nabiki. "Here."

Nabiki looked down at the cloth wrapped package in her hands. "What's this?"

"My cut of the money from the admissions and the betting pool."

"You mean after that you two, Ryoga, and Yoiko started the fight again?" Akane asked in amazement.

"No, they got lost."

"Akane, the betting sheet put the odds on Ryoga _winning_ the fight," Nabiki said. "And since the fight got cancelled he obviously didn't win. Really, you ought to pay attention to how these things are worded."

"The photos I was using to blackmail your friend are in there too." Kinma said. "So are the negatives. And I promise on my honor I won't blackmail any friend of yours again."

Nabiki looked into Kinma's eyes. "How do I know I can believe you about that?"

"When I give my word, I keep it."

"Yeah." Ranma added. "My brother's a blackmailer, a loan shark, a pool hustler-"

"I think you said enough, Ranma," Kinma said.

"-a bookie, and a spy," Ranma continued, ignoring his brother. "But he's no liar!"

"I suppose not." Nabiki said. She looked at Kinma again. "Thanks."

"Yeah. Thanks Ranma. Your apology means a lot. Even if you don't mean it."

Ranma suddenly looked at Akane. _Could it be that this girl really is like Dr. Tofu said?_

_Maybe that doc's right about Nabiki after all, _Kinma thought as he looked at Nabiki.

Akane and Nabiki looked at each other for almost half a minute, then without a word sent the two Saotome brothers splashing down into the canal.

"Hey!" Ranma-chan cried out angrily. "You two pulled a dirty trick!"

Akane just stuck out her tongue. "Now you don't have to feel guilty anymore."

"Here, Kinma-baby! You're the one who earned this, so catch!" Nabiki threw the cloth wrapping that Kinma had given her. The package suddenly hung in mid-air before disappearing.

"You are so uncute! Both of you!" Ranma yelled as Akane and Nabiki walked away.

"So you don't think we're cute. Big deal!" Akane shot back.

"So, Akane," Nabiki looked at her sister, "why don't we catch a movie? I hear there's a new one based on Maisson Ikkoku that's out right now."

"Sure," Akane said, and then paused. "Why'd you give Kinma back that money? That's not like you, Nabiki."

Suddenly Kinma's voice roared out from the canal. "THIS IS JUST PLAY MONEY FROM A MONOPOLY GAME!"

Nabiki smiled at Akane. "Who said I gave it back?"

Five nights later 

"Tendo Training Hall of Anything-Goes Martial Arts." Yoiko Hibiki looked at the sign. She looked at Ryoga. "Here it is, big brother.

"At last!" her brother cried out. It was raining very hard and both of them had their umbrellas out. "At last Ranma. Tonight, I will send you to Hell! A Hell so deep you'll beg for mercy a thousand times. A Hell so hot, your throat will be parched drier than the Sahara and there'll be to drink will be gasoline!"

Yoiko rolled her eyes as Ryoga kept going. Her brother could be majorly melodramatic at times. And his initial reason for being mad at Kinma's younger brother always seemed to be incredibly petty to her.

"Could you lay off the bad monologues a bit and remember why we're here?"

"Oh, certainly sis." Ryoga caught himself. They made their way inside the house, and, amazingly with their mutual bad sense of direction, found their way the guest room the Saotomes used.

The Hibiki siblings went into the room and saw Ranma and Kinma-along with Genma-Panda-asleep on their futons.

"Wake up Ranma!" Ryoga whispered into Ranma's ear. "We're here to fight!" Ranma snored on. "I said, wake up!"

"Huh, uh?" Ranma blinked, and Kinma also stirred. Suddenly Genma-Panda woke, tossed both of his sons, Ryoga, and Yoiko out into the rain. QUIET! The sign he held up said.

Both Hibikis managed to land on their feet, their umbrellas already out and protecting them from the rain. The Saotome brothers, however, fell smack into koi pond.

Ranma-chan got out of the pond. She looked and saw Ryoga and Yoiko staring past her, both their eyes wide as saucers.

"Wha-what's that!" Ryoga cried out.

"It's just me Hibiki," the watery outline of Kinma Saotome answered as he got out and stood behind Ranma. "I'm like Ranma, only I turn invisible."

"Whatever," Yoiko smirked as she pulled her ribbon-whip from her hair. "It won't do you any good here in the rain." She snapped her weapon at Kinma, who quickly dodged out of the way.

"Just what _is _this about," he then decided to venture out the words, "Yoiko-chan?"

"As if you didn't know!" Yoiko screamed. "The way you ran out on our engagement like you did!"

"En-_engagement!" _Ranma and Kinma both cried out.

"Yes. The day before your brother was supposed to fight mine, your father came to our house this afternoon. Said you three were going to China, and that you needed food for the journey. And then, after a little talk with Ryoga, your old man said you wanted to marry me and would promise you to me in exchange for the food!"

Kinma couldn't believe what he just heard. _I'll kill the old man for this,_ he swore under his breath.

"Then, when you and your dad came to pick up the food, I was all set to go out with you. But as we crossed the street you looked at me and just said 'Good-bye, Yoiko-chan!'"

"Yoiko, I had no idea-."

"I'm not finished!" Yoiko shouted. "I just stood there, shocked, for three days. I managed to find the vacant lot where our brothers were supposed to fight, but you already picked Ranma up. Ryoga came by, and I told him everything. And then," she paused, to gather herself, then continued, "we followed your family to China!"

"You mean that, you both went to Jusenkyo-," Kinma started.

"-and that you change when you get wet?" Ranma finished for him."

"Shut up and fight!" Ryoga cried and he gave a flying kick at Ranma. Yoiko likewise snapped her ribbon-whip at Kinma, who tried as hard as he could to avoid the surprisingly deadly weapon. Ranma then began striking at Ryoga who managed to defend himself surprisingly well, with only one free arm. Yoiko kept striking at Kinma, who just barely managed to dodge each time.

_Dammit, _Kinma said to himself,_ if she was better or a guy I wouldn't mind striking back. But I don't want to hurt her and the Kami know she's got every right to be mad._

The noise outside woke up the three Tendo sisters. All of them got out of their bed and went down to the family room were they heard the noises.

"What is it?" Kasumi asked. "Do you think it's a prowler?"

"It better not be." Akane said between clinched teeth.

Suddenly a shadow appeared in the window. "It IS a prowler!" Kasumi cried out. "And with a pack for stolen goods!"

Akane brandished a bamboo practice sword. I'll take care of-." Suddenly she felt Nabiki's hand on her shoulder. "No sis." Akane turned, and her eyes widened at the sight of the double-barreled shotgun in her sister's left hand.

"Nabiki how did you-?"

"Sent for it on E-bay." Nabiki walked up to the window, opened it, and shouldered the shotgun. "Don't worry, it only shoots beanbags, so it's legal."

Carefully Nabiki brought the beanbag-gun's sight onto the outline. Her finger stroked the front trigger…

BLAM!

Ryoga felt the beanbag from Nabiki's gun. He crashed into his sister and both their umbrellas fell away.

"Oh no!" the both cried. Already with their bodies shifting as the rainwater activated the Jusenkyo curse, they ran out the yard, past the gate, and into the street.

Ranma and Kinma followed after them, but lost sight when they came to the gate. "I think they already began to change," Ranma told her brother. "I'll go left, you go right, okay, Kinma?"

"Sure thing little bro." The two cursed brothers split up.

Ranma came to a nearby alleyway. "Lets see," she mused to herself, "where are they?" Suddenly she came up to a backpack and a bundle of clothes lying on the ground. "Lets see, those are Ryoga's, so he can't have got far-."

Suddenly she saw a small black shape Running nearby. "Hey, Ryoga!" The shape stopped, and looked back at Ranma. "Come here. Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Cautiously the small form approached the boy-turned-girl. Ranma peered down and got a closer look. "Oh man, Ryoga!"

Nabiki went back to her room and put her shotgun away. "Boy, I hope that guy doesn't come by again." She was about to get into her bed when she suddenly heard something. "All right who's there?" She looked down under her bed. "And just how did you get in here?"

Ranma-chan sat down in the Tendo family room, wiping herself off with a towel. "Listen Ryoga," she said to the small black piglet sitting across from her, "you got to stop attacking me in the night. I'm only a guest in this house." She paused and looked closer at the pig, who wore what looked like Ryoga's bandanna around it's neck. "I feel bad for you Ryoga. I really do. And turning into a pig's just got to be awful. I'll bet people've tried to eat you a couple of times." The pig looked at Ranma and nodded slowly.

"Oh, Ranma," Ranma turned around and saw Akane and Nabiki standing at the doorway. With Nabiki was- "Where'd you guys get the dog?"

"He showed up in my room," Nabiki said. She looked down at the dog, which looked like a cross between a Siberian husky and a German shepherd. Around it's neck was a black-speckled yellow bandanna. "He's got a bump on his head, so I thought I'd come down and put some medicine on it."

The dog growled at the sight of Ranma, and would have charged if Nabiki hadn't grabbed it by the neck. "Down boy! I don't know why you're mad, but now's not the time for it."

Akane looked at the pig sitting by Ranma. "Where did that pig come from?"

"Uh, I found it in the back yard." Ranma said. "I was thinking maybe Kasumi could cook it for supper tomorrow."

"Hey, don't joke like that!" Akane walked over and knelt down. "You might scare her."

Ranma blinked. "Her?"

Akane held the pig front ways towards Ranma. "Can't you see? This pig is female."

Ranma looked dumbfounded. _I guess it's not Ryoga after all, _she thought to herself.

"Oh Ranma." Ranma looked at the doorway. Kinma was there, visible, and with a kettle of hot water in his hand. "II couldn't find either of them-." Suddenly Kinma's eyes got very wide as he looked at Akane and saw the- "Pig!Pigpigpigpigpigpig!" he yelled, dropped the kettle, and ran screaming out of the room.

Ranma looked at Akane then Nabiki. "My brother's afraid of pigs." She glanced at the kettle and saw all the water had been spilled out. "I guess I'll have to take a bath."

She got up to leave. "Wait!" Akane cried out. "Take her with you. She's all drenched."

"Yeah," Nabiki said then added, "and take the dog with you. He could use a bath too."

"Me? Take a bath with a stupid dog and pig?" Ranma looked at Akane and Nabiki, and then sighed in resignation.

Kinma caught his breath as he stopped right in front of his room. That phobia of his-one more thing to blame his father on. The first time had been an accident, but Genma Saotome's means of trying to cure it had only made it worse.

He started back the family room, and then saw Akane and Nabiki in the hallway. "Where's Ranma, that dog and the pi-pi-pi-," he shot out the final word, "pig?"

"They're taking a bath." Akane said.

Gears started working in Kinma's head as he began thinking. Suddenly he ran for the bathroom.

"Ranma!" he cried out, as he opened the door to the furo. "That pig and dog are-!" He stopped as he looked inside. Sitting outside the tub was his naked female brother. And inside the tub full of water were Ryoga and Yoiko.

End of chapter eight.

As you probably guessed Yoiko's the one who turns into a pig. And you may think Ryoga has it easier this time, but China is a really bad place to turn into a dog.

As for the cause of Kinma's swinophobia-that will be revealed in the next chapter. And it's not quite the same as Ranma with the Neko Ken, but it's bad enough. Genma will get her revenge on Genma for what he'd done to her.


	9. Chapt 9 Ryoga's Beef and Yoiko's Revenge

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the creations and property of Rumiko Takahashi. No money is being made for their use in this work of Fanfiction-otherwise I'd be rich, rich, rich!

Author's note: In case you're wondering how Ryoga and Yoiko are able to find each other, it's because they have an empathic sibling bond that goes with their bad sense of direction. And even though Ryoga's very protective of his sister they do get on each other's nerves a lot.

To Follow the Ten Thousand Yen Horse 

By

Robert K. Hackney

Chapter Nine: Ryoga's Beef and Yoiko's Revenge

Kinma looked at the tub. "Yoiko, you're the-," he stuttered out the last word, "ppp-pp-pig?"

Ryoga cried out, "And YOU'RE dead!" as he punched at Kinma.

Kinma blocked Ryoga's fist with a wooden bucket. "Wait a minute. So you two really went to Jusenkyo?"

"And it's all your fault, Kinma-_kun._" Yoiko snarled. "After you ran out on me, Ryoga and I followed you all the way to China. It's a big place, but with our sense of direction it was only worse. Until finally one day….."

_Ryoga and Yoiko looked down from the cliff they were standing on. "This looks like the place that brochure Mr. Saotome left behind," Yoiko said. "I wonder why they call this the training ground of 'cursed springs?'"_

"_COME BACK HERE YOU OLD FOOL!" The siblings turned at the sight of the high soprano voice. Suddenly they saw a panda charging right at them!_

_Quickly Ryoga leapt out of the way. The panda, however, shoved Yoiko, down into one of the springs below._

"_Yoiko!" Ryoga cried, right before suddenly a red-haired girl chasing the panda knocked him into another spring ………_

"That panda knocked me off the cliff and straight into the lake," Yoiko said grimly. "From there, things only got worse…."

_Yoiko managed to come to the surface, but her arms and leg-her entire body seemed to have shrunk, causing her clothes to fall off. She struggled to stay afloat as she looked around. Why was everything so big?_

_Suddenly she felt herself being lifted by the ribbon that had slipped to around her neck. Right in front of her was a panda. And somehow she knew it was the very same panda that had knocked her in the spring in the first place._

_The panda carried her by her ribbon to a nearby hut. It opened the door and sitting down at a table was a fat man wearing a baggy green Chinese Communist party uniform._

_The man looked at him. "Oh sir, that very nice pig you find." Yoiko suddenly broke out in a sweat. She was a pig?_

_The man got up from his chair and pulled out a big butcher knife. "I make world famous Canton style sweet-and sour pork for you."_

_Yoiko trembled as the man hung her by her left hind leg over a wok filled with boiling water. They were going to eat her!_

"_Here in Jusenkyo," the man said as he sharpened his knife, "we have a very famous, cursed Spring of Drowned Baby Black Pig. A very tragic story about baby black pig that drown in spring 1400 year ago. Oh, very tragic story. Now whatever fall in spring, take body of poor baby black pig!" _

_He stopped sharpening his knife and walked over to Yoiko. He untied her, held her by the ribbon, and looked into her eyes._

"_Maybe this here a poor person who fall in cursed Spring of Drowned Baby Black Pig, no?" Yoiko nodded franticly. _Yes I am!_ she wanted to shout, but she couldn't talk with a pig's vocal cords._

_The man looked back at the panda, which was sitting at the table with a fork and knife waiting to eat. "You hear, I make a funny joke, no?" Then he dropped her into the wok._

"_Hot!" Yoiko screeched as she leaped out of the wok. She looked down at herself and just realized she'd spoken. She was human again!_

"_It _IS _a poor person," the man said mournfully. "Now we cannot eat!"_

"Yoiko," Kinma began, "I'm so sorry-."

"SORRY?" Yoiko screamed. "Because you ran out on our engagement, I almost got made into sweet and sour pork! And that's not the only time people've tried to eat me!"

Ranma-chan looked at Ryoga. "And what happened to you? Besides obviously falling into the Spring of Drowned Wolf-Dog or whatever."

"After I fell in," Ryoga began…

_Ryoga managed to swim onto the shore and crawl out onto the shore. He suddenly realized he was walking on all fours, and looked down. Instead of hands he saw a pair of furry paws. He looked behind himself and saw as much of his new body as he could. He was a dog!_

_Inu-Ryoga looked around and saw Yoiko's clothes and back- pack floating in a nearby spring. She must have changed into something else too, he realized. But what?_

_He sniffed, and was amazed out how his sense of smell had heightened. Even water had a smell now! _

_He heard suddenly heard Yoko's voice call out "HOT!" from a hut nearby. He ran towards the hut careful to avoid any of the pools. He ran into the door and saw Yoiko, naked and dripping wet with a panda and the fat man in the Communist uniform._

_Yoiko looked at the dog, and suddenly recognized the bandanna around it's neck. "Ryoga?"_

"Since then," Ryoga continued, "we've tried to make our way back to Japan. I can't even begin to tell you about the torments we've endured, fighting off wild animals, villagers chasing both of us with knives-."

"Wait a minute." Ranma said. "Why would they go after you, Ryoga?"

"THEY EAT DOGS IN CHINA!" Ryoga roared back, then looked at Kinma. "If only you didn't run out on Yoiko like you did-!"

Kinma looked at Yoiko. "I swear I had no idea that Pop went to your house and-."

"Now hold on just a moment." Ranma looked straight at Ryoga. "Didn't you say it was a panda and a red haired girl that knocked you into the cursed springs? And that panda tried to eat Yoiko?"

"Go on."

"It was the girl and the panda. It wasn't-." Ranma suddenly stopped. _A red-haired girl and a panda?_

Suddenly the bathroom door opened. The four looked and saw Genma-Panda in the doorway with a towel draped over it's shoulders.

PARDON MEthe sign Genma produced read, and then closed the door.

That was a panda." Ryoga looked at Ranma. "And YOUR'E a red-haired girl." Ranma held her hands to her face and opened her eyes wide, trying to look cute. The lost boy turned to Kinma. "And YOU! Because you ran out on Yoiko, I'll KILL you!" He leapt out of the tub and slammed into Kinma.

Kinma grunted as he tried to fight, but Ryoga was as heavy as he was and far stronger. Ryoga grabbed his hands around Kinma's throat. "Now I send you straight to HELL!"

Suddenly he felt cold water on him and saw Kinma go invisible underneath, and his own hands change into paws. He looked and saw Ranma holding the showerhead. "We'll talk Ryoga-after you cool down.

Inu-Ryoga started to leap at Ranma, but felt an invisible hand grab his neck. "You heard my brother mutt. Calm down and we'll talk this out later-ow!"

Kinma let go of the dog, who immediately ran out the door. The invisible Kinma ran out after him.

After Kinma closed the door, Yoiko looked at Ranma. "He really didn't know, did he?"

Inu-Ryoga ran down the hallway of the Tendo household. "Come back here, you beast!" the invisible boy cried out after him. A wooden bucket came out of nowhere and bounced of Ryoga's head.

Suddenly Ryoga saw Nabiki and Akane at the end of the hallway. He ran to them."

"Oh, hiding behind two girls, eh?" Kinma's voice called out. "What a coward."

"Kinma!" Nabiki snapped. "Why are you chasing him?"

"That crazy dog attacked me!" Kinma yelled.

"Well, you probably had it coming, Kinma-baby." Nabiki looked down at the dog, who was whimpering. "Aw, he's scared."

"Here she is," Ranma-chan came down the hallway, holding the little piglet. "Good as new."

"Thanks, Ranma," Akane said as she took the little pig from Ranma.

"P-pi-pi-." Kinma began.

"Oh jeez, just don't look at her, and you'll be fine." Ranma sighed. "Kinma, that phobia of yours is real embarrassing at times."

You're one to talk, little bro. 

"There, there, boy," Nabiki said as she calmed down the dog. "I won't leave you with that nasty invisible boy. Now be good and stop crying." She leaned down and kissed the dog on it's little black nose.

"Where are you going?" Kinma cried out as Nabiki got up and started to walk with the dog.

Nabiki glared at her unwanted fiancé. "WE are going to bed."

"Oh no you don't!" Kinma ran over and tried to grab the dog. Nabiki then plucked the little pig from Akane's arm and thrust it-by blind luck-into Kinma's invisible face. "Pi-pi-pi-pig!" Kinma cried out before falling to the floor in a dead feint.

Nabiki looked down to where Kinma fell. "Just for that, I'm telling everyone at school that you're afraid of pigs, Kinma-baby."

Nabiki yawned as she got back into bed. The dog she'd found leaped up and landed next to her. "Alright, you can sleep there for tonight. She turned of the light and closed her eyes.

_What is it with Kinma anyway? _Nabiki wondered. _I can't believe he'd treat a dog like that. Or could it be that he's jealous?_ Nabiki then shook her head. _Nah. _Then she drifted off to sleep.

Inu-Ryoga fell asleep too, but suddenly awoke at the sound of a window opening. He looked around and saw nothing but heard footsteps tiptoeing across the floor and the rather distinctive smell of hot water mixed with that of a certain human crept into his nostrils.

"All right you mangy mutt," Kinma's voice whispered, "for your sister's sake I don't want to blow your cover. But you're always talking about finishing that fight, so unless you want to be naked on Nabiki's bed, you better come with me." Ryoga growled but got off the bed, careful not to disturb Nabiki. "That's a good doggy."  
Ryoga suddenly turned leapt to the far side of the room. _Oh no you don't! _Kinma set his kettle on the floor and tried to grab for the dog. But Ryoga was surprisingly quick and agile in his dog form, and while he couldn't see the invisible Kinma, he could smell him.

Kinma grabbed again for Ryoga, who ran between this legs, and then leaped onto Kinma's back, sending him smack into the sleeping Nabiki.

Nabiki suddenly awoke with Kinma on top her. And Inu-Ryoga grabbed the hot water kettle in his mouth and threw where he smelled Kinma.

Nabiki opened her eyes to see a visible Kinma and her bed soaking with hot water. Coyly she smiled and looked into Kinma's eyes. "Well, Kinma-baby, if you wanted to come in for a little fun all you had to do was ask."

"Huh?" Kinma was totally taken aback.

"Then I'd give you this!" SLAP!

Kinma staggered back at the force of Nabiki's slap in his face, then cried "Yowl!" The dog had bitten him in the rear. Mumbling something about how Chinese and Koreans had the right idea about canines, he stalked out of the room.

Nabiki quickly changed the covers on her bed and lay back down. Inu-Ryoga leapt up beside her. She patted him on the head.

"I'm definitely keeping you," she smiled as the dog licked her face, "Dollars."

"You may be a pervert, but if you're going to sneak into Nabiki's room, at least do it quietly." Akane said. Her back was turned as she fed the little pig she'd named P-chan in her arms. She couldn't let Kinma see the pig or he'd freak out. Surprisingly, Kinma didn't object to Akane keeping her.

"It just shows he's a healthy lad," Soun glanced from the paper he was reading and looked at Ranma, "_unlike _his brother."

"Personally I don't think it's right for a boy to sneak into a girls room, even if they are engaged." Kasumi said as she passed another helping of rice to Nabiki, who set down a small plate of meat for Dollars.

"I'm innocent I tell you!" Kinma snapped. _What's the use? I can't tell them, for Yoiko's sake. _

Genma-Panda held up his bowl and a sign that read MORE PLEASE!

Ranma got up and left the table. He knew what had gone on in Nabiki's room last night, but Kinma made him promise he wouldn't tell anyone.

He went through his exercises and standard kata routines. It was Sunday and he didn't practice as hard as he normally did. Kinma had told him what he planned to do concerning Yoiko and their father.

Ranma finished his exercises, amazed that he hadn't gotten splashed once. He went to the kitchen and prepared a kettle of water. Testing it to make sure it was hot but not scalding, he walked over to Akane's room.

He opened the door. Sure enough, there was Yoiko, or P-chan or whatever napping on Akane's bed.

"Psst!" The little pig woke up and looked at Ranma. "Come here."

P-chan jumped off of the bed and walked over to the pigtailed martial-artist. Ranma looked down at her. "I'm sorry about what my Pop did to you and I'm sorry I knocked you into that spring. I can't undo it, but if you want, I can help you get even with him. Wanna come with me?"

P-chan nodded and followed Ranma over to the guest room where the Saotomes slept. Ranma slid open the door, and sure enough Genma-Panda lay asleep on his Futon.

Ranma walked over and poured the hot water over the panda. "Wha-what!" the now human Genma cried out, then saw his younger son. "What did you do that for?"

"That's my line, Pop!" said Ranma, who then leaned closer to his father. "I want to ask you some questions. First of all, do you remember a Yoiko Hibiki who lived in our old neighborhood?"

Genma nodded. "Sure, what about her?"

"Before we left for China, did you go over to her house? And make any deals with her brother Ryoga?" Now Genma squirmed. "Answer me Pop!

"Uh, emm, er, I plead the Fifth!" Genma cried out.

"That's the U. S. Constitution, Pop. This is Japan."

"All right! I went over to their house and after a talk with Ryoga I engaged your brother to her in exchange for the food we'd need. But we needed something to eat for our journey and Kinma spent almost all his money booking us passage to China-."

"And to pay off all your creditors." Ranma then walked back to the doorway, where Genma suddenly noticed P-chan for the first time.

"You better not let that thing stay around here, boy." Genma said. "If Kinma sees it he'll run in terror, the coward."

Ranma snorted. "It's your fault he's so afraid of them."

"Hey, I didn't make him fall into that pig sty when he was three!"

"No, but when you saw that he was scared of them after that you kept throwing him into a pigsty every chance you got, until Mom made you stop." Ranma said. "I can't remember that at all, but Kinma told me about it. Right after that thing with the cc-cca-caaaa-." He tried but he just couldn't finish the words. "Anyway, I got to tell you, after you guys picked me up and we headed to China, Yoiko and Ryoga followed us to Jusenkyo!"

Genma blinked. "They did?" He looked at the piglet again and suddenly vague memories were coming back to him….

Ranma nodded. "They did. And they happened to be on the cliffs where I was chasing you, and we sorta knocked them into a couple of springs and then-." Ranma didn't finish but picked up the kettle, poured out the hot water, and P-chan changed into a wet, naked, angry Yoiko.

"And then Mr. Saotome," Yoiko continued, "YOU TRIED TO EAT ME!"

Genma backed away in terror. Sure, she would have been no match for him, but he didn't like to beat up little girls. Plus he had the Saotome-let-yourself-get-beat-up-when you-know-you-deserve-it syndrome.

Ranma handed Yoiko a large wooden Mallet. "Go right ahead.

Yoiko grabbed the mallet in both hands and attacked with all her rage. Ranma smiled as he heard his father cry out in pain. This wasn't the best day of his life, but it sure wasn't the worst.

Authors notes: I won't be updating this story as ofton as before because I've also started on another, a SM/Batman fusion. Plus I work two jobs.

Kodachi the Black Rose is coming in the next chapter. Should I have her fall for:

Ranma as usual?

Kinma?

Or both?


	10. Chapt 10 Enter Kodachi

Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ entertainment. No money is being made from their use in this work of Fanfiction-otherwise, I'd be driving a Thunderbird and wouldn't pay my parents rent.

A note to readers-sorry it took so long to update. I work two jobs and have another story I'm also working on. If I had a life, I wouldn't be able to update at all.

**To Follow the Ten Thousand Yen Horse**

By

Robert K. Hackney

Ranma-chan stood before the bun-seller in her green Chinese Communist party outfit and cap. The baggy uniform, which looked dumpy on most people, only made her look cuter.

The bun-seller laughed to himself. "You're such a sweet little girl," he said. "Here, have a couple more buns-for free!"

Ranma flashed her winning smile. "Gee mister, thanks!"

As she walked back home eating the buns, Ranma thought to herself _Yep, when I'm going for eats, this girl body _is _definitely the way to go!_

"You know, if you keep eating like that, you'll lose your girlish figure." Ranma whipped her head around but saw no one.

"Kinma," she snarled, "how many times have I told you I hate when you do that!"

"Why do you think I like to do it, little bro?" the invisible teenager whispered into Ranma's ear. "How about giving me some of those buns?"

"Go buy your own." Ranma said after finishing one bun.

"Oh yeah. Like I'd want to give the bun seller a stroke or heart attack when he sees money and hears a voice come out from nowhere."

"Then just swipe some. No one will notice, the way anything you touch becomes invisible when you're like that." Ranma said before she bit into another bun.

"Who do you think I am, Pop? You know I don't steal." Kinma said.

Ranma nodded. "No, blackmail's more your style."

"Right." By the tone in his voice, Ranma was sure her brother was grinning. "Which is why if you don't give me some of those buns, a whole bunch of guys in school will receive free racy videotapes of a certain pigtailed redhead."

Ranma froze. "When did you get a video camera?"

"I bought it a week ago. The Swedish bikini team is doing a shoot at the Tokyo Dome, and I was taking videos of their dressing room."

"Who pay to see videotapes of a dressing room?" Ranma snorted.

"While they were _dressing_." Now Ranma knew Kinma had a big smile on his face.

"You've got a dirty mind."

"No, I just make money off of dirty minds. Now hand me some of those buns." Ranma seriously considered threatening to beat Kinma up, but that never worked. The only thing that would stop Kinma Saotome from chasing after money would be death, and Ranma just didn't have it in her to commit fratricide. "Here," she held out the bag.

"Thanks, little bro." About half the buns from Ranma's bag disappeared.

"You must all be girls from Furinkan High School," the girl with black hair tied in a ponytail to the left and wearing a black and white school uniform said to the throng of young women in the vacant lot. They were all wearing gymnasts' leotards and sporting bandages or black eyes or both. "Such a shame you all got injured before the big match between our schools next week."

"Stop acting so surprised," one of the girls with a black eye shouted.

"Yeah," added another, "you're the one who did this to us!"

A third girl whose left arm was in a splint hefted a gymnastics club in her right. "You're trying to stop us from competing! Let's get her!"

Ranma-chan and Kinma were watching the scene from the top of a wall over the lot. "Hey, I think some of those girls are in my class." Ranma whispered.

"Yeah," Kinma added, "and some are in mine too."

As the attackers got nearer, the black-haired girl whipped out a gymnasts ribbon and, wielding it like a whip, counterattacked. "How lucky you girls are that I'm a lady!" she shouted. "Otherwise I'd have to teach you some manners!"

The ribbon suddenly stopped as the black-haired girl was about to finish off her attackers. Looking in front of her, she saw Ranma with the other end of the ribbon in her hand. "Hey, I think you made you're point," the pigtailed redhead said.

"You stopped my ribbon. That's never happened," the black-haired girl said. "You must be no ordinary girl."

"I guess you could say that," Ranma sighed.

"Well in that case," the girl dropped the handle of her ribbon and brandished a club, "I won't go any easier on you!"

She rushed Ranma, who leaped up and flipped behind the girl. Quickly facing her opponent, Ranma took up a fight-ready stance.

Instead of attacking though, the strange girl just laughed. "You're quite formidable. Well, I'm the flower of St. Heberke School for girls, and a rising star in gymnastics." She pulled a black-colored rose from nowhere and threw it at Ranma. "I'm Kodachi the Black Rose." She turned around and leaped on top of the wall. "You will keep that in mind, won't you? Whohoohohohoo!" She kept giving that eerie laugh as she lept away across the rooftops.

"That is one strange girl," Kinma whispered into Ranma's ear. Ranma nodded, then turned to the throng of injured girls, whom were all sobbing.

"Oh come now, don't cry," she said as she tried to comfort them.

One of the girls looked at Ranma. "Hey, I think I know you. You're that pigtailed redhead who spicy pictures my mom found in my brother's pants."

"Yeah," another one said, "I found some too in my ex-boyfriend's room."

Ranma ground her teeth. Either her invisible brother was being quiet or had departed the scene. Either way she swore the next time she saw Kinma visible, he'd get the beating of his life.

"What!" Akane cried. All the girls Ranma had found in the lot were in her room. "The entire gymnastics team has been taken out?"

"Oh Akane!" one of the girls said. "We've been so humiliated."

"We got beat up!" added another.

"It's our most important event," a third put in, "Rhythmic Gymnastics Wrestling!"

"Huh?" Ranma was sitting on Akane's bed with her, doing stretch exercises. "What's that?"

The first girl held up a cue card. "It's our team against that of St. Heberke School for Girls."

"That reform school for rich girl delinquents." Said the second.

As the discussion went on, a girl wearing the green leotard uniform of the St Heberke gymnastics team stood outside the dojo wall, listening as best she could. Suddenly, she saw a panda coming up to her.

CAN I HELP YOU? read the sign the panda produced. The girl just turned and ran. She already heard enough, and if she stayed any longer, things might get even weirder.

Akane got up from her bed. "Don't worry," she told the gymnastics team. "I'll avenge you all.

"All right girls," Kodachi cried out to the exhausted girls of the St Heberke Gymnastics team, "that's enough for today."

"Whew, I thought that would never end," one tired girl said.

"Why do we even bother to practice? We always win by default anyway." Another said.

"Better not let Kodachi hear you say that." the first said to her friend.

The girl who had been eavesdropping on the Tendo Dojo came into the gym and walked up to Kodachi. As she whispered into the team captain's ear, the expression on Kodachi's face got madder and madder.

Akane was in the Tendo Dojo, dressed in her gi and looking out at the tools the gymnastics team had given her. Ranma and Kinma were sitting on the floor, both in their normal forms. P-chan was sitting on the other side of Ranma, careful not to let Kinma see her.

"Akane, do you even no how to use this stuff?" Ranma asked.

"We'll just see, won't we?" Akane said. She walked over and picked up a pair of clubs, then suddenly looked at the dojo door. "Oh, hi Nabiki."

"Hello." Nabiki walked into the dojo with Dollars right behind her and saw Kinma. "Oh there you are Kinma-baby. I've been looking for you."

"What for?" Kinma said in a gruff voice.

"Oh, I'm just off to a business meeting and I don't want you messing it up for me." She turned to the dog and said, "Now Dollars, I'm going to be away for a couple hours, so be a good boy and keep your eyes and nose on Kinma-baby here. And if he turns invisible, bite him." Dollars went to his hind legs, placed his front paws on Nabiki's chest and licked her face. "What a good boy you are! But I have to go. Be good and mommy will bring back a special treat for you. And if you bite Kinma, I'll bring you two!" And with that, she walked out the door.

Dollars walked over and sat down right beside Kinma. They glared at each other. "So, I guess you're thinking like a dog now, you mangy mutt." Dollars snarled, and was about to bite Kinma, when suddenly Akane bopped the older Saotome brother with a club.

"What'd you do that for?"

"For teasing my sister's dog. Now I have to practice!" Akane hefted the clubs and threw them into the air.

"Uh, Akane, are you supposed to let those drop?" Ranma said.

"Hmmmph." Akane next picked up a hoop. "We'll try this next."

"Is that thing supposed to break?"

Sighing Akane went for the ribbon. "This shouldn't be too hard." She twirled it in the air.

"Are you supposed to get all tangled up?"

Suddenly Dollars stood up and walked to the door. As he got there, he looked at P-chan who followed him out the doorway and into the Tendo household.

Kodachi opened the door to her locker. Inside were a variety of swords, clubs, maces, instruments of torture, and a sniper rifle. She picked up the last one and looked at it for a few seconds, then shook her head. She set it back in, then pick up a very large and VERY heavy mallet.

"So Kinma," Ranma looked at his brother, "you'll have no trouble cleaning up the betting for this. You'll probably make enough to pay our rent for a year!"

"Yeah right," Kinma said, "where am I going to find enough people stupid enough to bet on HER?"

"ALL RIGHT!" Akane shouted. "So I'm not good. I'm a klutz! A klutz! Aklutzaklutzaklustaklutz!"

"Excuse me." The three turned to the doorway and saw the Hibiki siblings standing in the doorway. "Would you like us to train you?"  
"Ryoga. Yoiko." Akane said. "Sure, I'll be glad to have your help."

Yoiko walked over to the tool pile and picked up a ribbon. "The first tool is the ribbon." She twirled it a few times, and then made a couple of snaps. Carefully she and Ryoga guided Akane through some basic ribbon moves. Akane did much better, but still ended up getting tangled.

Ryoga scratched his head. "I guess that's enough for tonight."

Akane worked her way out of the ribbon tangles. "Thanks, both of you."

Ranma, Kinma, Ryoga and Yoiko were in the dojo courtyard by the koi pond. "All right, why do you two want to help Akane? What are you getting out of it?" Ranma asked.

Yoiko looked down. "Akane's been real nice to me; I just thought it'd be a good way to repay her." she said.

"All right," Kinma said, then looked at Ryoga. "But you, dog boy? You should be ashamed of yourself, helping her just so you can get in good with her sister."

Ryoga smirked. "You should be ashamed, Saotome. Jealousy is so pitiful!"

Kinma shot back. Suddenly they heard the front gates to the Tendo household open.

"Dollars! Mommy's home!" Nabiki's voice called out.

Ryoga grinned at the Saotome brothers. "Gotta go." And suddenly he jumped into the koi pond, and Dollars came out.

"Oh no you don't Hibiki!" Kinma cried as he chased after the dog. Ranma followed him.

Yoiko just sighed, as she watched them chase after her canine brother. Pretty soon Akane would be heading for bed. Letting out on quick heavy breath, she took of her clothes and lept into the koi pond.

Akane got out of the bathtub and headed for bed. She was tired. And worried.

In spite of Ryoga and Yoiko's assurances, she knew she had a long way to go before she could use the tools properly. And the girl she'd be going up against had likely been training in gymnastics for a long time.

She got into her bed and all of a sudden looked up at the ceiling. Hanging righ above her bed with a large mallet strapped on her back was Kodachi, the girl the gymnastics team had warned her about.

"Akane Tendo, prepare to die!" Kodachi cried out as she fell towards the bed and pulled out her mallet to strike.

Akane immediately jumped out of the bed. "You're the one they warned me about! How dare you try to ambush me in my own room!"

"Ambush?" the girl said. "What an ugly word. I just believe in fighting in all fairness," she raised her mallet and swung at Akane again, "before the match!"

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard!" Akane cried out as she dodged the swing-and suddenly the door burst open And Dollars came in. Followed by the Saotome brothers.

"Hey you, get back here!" Ranma cried out.

"You're not getting into Nabiki's bed tonight!" Kinma shouted as they chased the dog out the window.

Akane just stood there with her mouth open. Suddenly Nabiki appeared in her doorway. "Akane, did you see those two chasing Dollars?"

Akane pointed to the window. Nabiki's shoulders slumped. "I'll have to take the long way out and hope I catch up with them."

Suddenly Akane turned around and kicked Kodachi's mallet away.

"Oh, so you do have some skill," the crazed gymnast said. She twirled her ribbon and somehow a flurry of black rose petals came out of nowhere. "I bid you adieu.

Akane and Nabiki both just stood there for several seconds. "C'mon," Nabiki said to her sister. "We've got to make sure they don't hurt Dollars."

Kodachi lept away on the roof of the Tendo dojo, crying her trademark laugh, when all of a sudden a big wolf-dog whizzed by her. _How did a dog get up on the roof? _She wondered, as she looked at it-and didn't notice the two boys who were chasing after the dog.

"Uh-oh." Ranma and Kinma both stared as they just saw they had knocked Kodachi down. Immediately the two brothers lept after her,grabbed her, and jumped back onto the roof.

"Oh, my head." Kodachi rubbed her head as she opened her eyes and saw the blurry outlines stablise into two young men. "Who-who are you two?"

"I'm Kinma Saotome," Kinma said. "And this is my brother Ranma."

"Ranma. Kinma." The two names just rolled off of Kodachi's tongue. _Oh, in all my years at an all girls' school I'd long given up hope of finding a man, and now I've found two! And they're brothers! _She suddenly tossed a pair of black rose bouquets at Ranma and Kinma. The two brothers stared at them for a few seconds, and then suddenly a gas escaped from the black flowers.

The two Saotome brothers lay on their backs, totally unable to move, as Kodachi stood over them. "Now, Ranma, Kinma," she said, "you're both mine."

"Ahem!" Kodachi turned and saw Akane and Nabiki Tendo standing behind her. "What are you three doing here?"

"I guess I must leave," the gymnast said. She turned to the gassed brothers. "Until we meet again!"

And then she vanished.

Akane and Nabiki stared at the Ranma and Kinma. "Maybe we should just leave them here for tonight." Nabiki said.

"Don't let us get in the way of true love." Akane added, then turned with Nabiki towards th ladder.

"A-akane!" Ranma tried to speak from jaws that wouldn't move.

"Nab-nabiki!"

END OF CHAPTER 10

Okay, in case you are wondering, Yoiko does NOT have any lesbian feelings for Akane. She's just lonely-for female friendship as well as a guys love. And yes, she is hopelessly in love with Kinma, but he just thinks of her as a friend or perhaps a little sister. How a guy smart enough to out-scheme Nabiki couldn't realize she has a crush on him-well, he's a whiz with money, but when it comes to matters of the heart, he's totally clueless.

Okay, I'm going to ask you readers a couple of questions. First of all, when I introduce Cologne, how many would like to see her do the full body cat tongue on Kinma? He likes being able to turn invisible, but how well do you think he'll like it if he can't change back?

Second question is purely hypothetical. I'm not making this a crossover with Sailor Moon, but I've read several that show Ranma romantically involved with one of the Senschi. Tell me, which of them do you think would make a good match for Kinma?


	11. 11: The Black Rose's Challenge

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ entertainment. I am not making any money of the use of these characters-and if you thought I was, you have some serious mental problems.

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse

By

Darknight Squire

Chapter 11: The Black Rose's Challenge

Akane, Ranma, Kinma and Nabiki entered the schoolyard for Furinkan High. A couple of Akane's friends came up to them. "I hear you're going to represent us against St. Heberke!" one of them said.

"Don't let us down!" added the other.

"Leave it to me!" Akane smiled.

"Oh yeah right," Ranma put in, "you can't even use the tools yet Akane."

Kinma looked over at Nabiki. "You're not thinking about running up a bet on this, are you?" he asked.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "My sister who's only learned the techniques this past week against someone who's likely been doing gymnastics for years? No one would be stupid enough to take it."

Kinma looked over to his friends Kiroshi and Genosho. "You heard her guys. Pay up."

Nabiki's eyes widened in disbelief as Kinma's two cronies pulled out wads of yen notes and handed them to him. "Boy, I though Nabiki would try to raise a bet on ANYTHING." Kiroshi muttered.

Genosho nodded ruefully. "Just goes to show what we know." Nabiki couldn't believe it. Kinma had just made money off of HER?

Suddenly she had an idea. Turning to the two boys, she told them, "Want to know Kinma-baby here's weak spot?"

Both Kinma's friends looked at her, then to her surprise shook their heads. "No thanks. You're going to charge us something, and Genosho and I have to hang on to what money we have left." Kiroshi said, and Genosho nodded affirmatively.

Nabiki's shoulders slumped then brightened up. "Very well." Turning to Kinma, she said, "I'm sure there will be others who'll pay to hear about it-unless you do."

Kinma's face froze for a second, and then regained it's composure. "Go right ahead and tell. I won't stop you."

Suddenly a voice from above shouted out "Akane Tendo, prepare to die!" Akane whirled around, and grabbed the business end of a _shinai_ bamboo practice sword.

Ranma and Kinma both stared at the person hanging on the other end. "Kodachi the Black Rose!" they both cried out.

Akane stared up at Kodachi. "So, now you try to ambush me at school, huh?"

"Ambush?" Kodachi asked, the voice of perfect innocence. "I'm doing no such thing. I just came here to visit my darlings Kinma and Ranma."

"Then why," Akane snarled as she twisted the shinai up suddenly, flipping Kodachi up into the air, "don't you visit them, then!"

Kodachi twisted herself in the air, flipped and landed on her feet, right between the two Saotome brothers. "Oh, Kinma, Ranma," she crooned and her eyes got misty.

Ranma and Kinma backed away from the girl-and straight into Tatiwaki Kuno's back. Immediately the kendoist turned and attacked with his boken. Ranma leaped over the wooden blade, which Kinma blocked with his bo staff.

Kuno immedatly grabbed both brothers by the collars. "Saotomes Kinma and Ranma, what grudge is it you two have against me?"

"Listen you-." Kinma began, but suddenly Kuno spied Kodachi with a hand on each brother's shoulder. He stepped back, and looked, then nodded to himself. "Very well. You may both date with her."

"Oh Kinma, Ranma!" Kodachi cried out joyfully. "I'm so happy!"

"Listen, you," Kinma glared at Kodachi, "neither me or my brother has any intention of going-."

Tears dribbled down Kodachi's face. "You both hate me!"

"No! That not it." Kinma cried out.

"It's just that-," Ranma looked around and immediately spied Akane and Nabiki, "we've both already got fiancées."

"Yeah right." Kinma nodded. The two brothers went to Akane and Nabiki. "C'mon, help us out," Kinma whispered.

Kodachi walked up to the Tendo sisters and looked them in the eyes. "Is this true? Are you two both engaged to my dear Kinma and darling Ranma?"

"More or less." Akane muttered.

"I'll let you have Kinma-baby for 15000 yen." Nabiki added.

"Oho." Kodachi chuckled. "But this is not something for mere monetary exchange. Instead, shall we wager Kinma and Ranma in the match?"

"Are you insane?" Akane cried out.

"Do you have to ask?" Nabiki said to her sister.

Kuno placed his hand on Akane's shoulder. "I think it's a fine idea, Akane."

Akane turned to face Kuno. "What?"

"You need but to lose, and you'll be rid of that cross dresser Ranma forever!"

"Oh she needn't worry about that!" chortled Kodachi. "She'll be losing in any case!"

She looked over at the Saotome brothers. "Ranma! Kinma! When the match is over you will both be mine! Farewell!" She twirled her gymnastics ribbon and suddenly, in a flurry of black rose petals, leaped away from the Furinkan schoolyard.

"That girl is totally insane," Kuno said as he watched the girl leave. "But even so, Saotomes Kinma and Ranma," he looked over at the brothers, "take good care of my little sister.

"Wait a second," Kinma said as he pushed his glasses back against his face, "what did you just say?"

"I said, take care of my sister. Are you deaf, Saotome?" Kuno sighed and looked up. "She is twisted, deviant, and completely deranged. I love her well."

Kuno walked to Akane and handed her a bouquet of roses. "Please, Akane, try not to get hurt. Kodachi is more than likely to try something underhanded in the match."

Kuno shouldered his boken and walked towards the building. "One more thing, Saotomes," he said as he opened the door. "When Kodachi sets her sights on something she wants, she persists until she gets it."

"That girl-?" Ranma started.

"-is Kuno's sister?" Kinma finished for him.

"What'd you expect?" Nabiki chimed in. "She's just like Kuno-baby would be if he fell into the same spring Ranma did."

Two nights later, the night before the match, Akane was in her leotard, practicing for the big day. She twirled the clubs in her hands and threw them at Kinma. The older Saotome brother blocked them with his staff.

Still in motion, she grabbed her ribbon and whipped it at Ranma. The pigtailed martial artist leaped and swerved, missing by mere inches.

Sitting at the far wall of the dojo was Nabiki, watching the whole thing. She was depressed, an unusual mood for her.

For the past two days she'd been offering to tell people about Kinma's secret phobia-for a fee, of course. Yet strangely, very few seemed willing to pay for the information and some even looked afraid, as if Kinma had something on them. There were five guys and two girls who were both willing. All seven of them gave Kinma a hard time about it too.

Kinma challenged the guys to a fight after school. Him against all five of them at once. Every one of the boys was now enjoying a month-long vacation in the intensive care ward at Tokyo General.

What Kinma did to the girls was truly diabolical. Kimiko Hartushi was giving speaking at the debate club when suddenly in front of everyone her school uniform disappeared, leaving her in nothing but bra and panties. And Makoto Soboshi had just finished at the public baths and came back to her locker, and all her clothes were gone, only to be found in her home closet later. Nabiki shuddered at the thought. What might Kinma do to _her_?

Akane looked up at Ranma hanging from the ceiling. "Will you hold still and let me practice?" she cried out.

"Gee Akane, you've made pretty good progress," Kinma put in. "I may just run up a bet after all-maybe on how long you'll last against that Kuno girl."

"Why you-!" Akane picked up a ball and threw it at Kinma. "I'm not fighting for either of you two!" Her shoulders slumped. "I need to practice, and Ryoga hasn't been around all week. I was counting on him."

Suddenly they heard a barking sound at the door. At the doorway was a big gray wolf dog wearing a bandanna around its neck and several packages strapped to it are back.

"Dollars!" Nabiki cried. She stood up, and the big dog ran up to her and licked her face. "Where've you been? Mommy's been so worried about you!"

"Hmmmm," Kinma picked up the packages from Dollar's back. "Red bean cakes from Kyoto-cinnamon crackers from Hiroshima-Swiss chocolate!"

"Man, not even Ryoga's got a sense of direction that bad!" Ranma exclaimed.

"They sell that in a lot of upscale places in Tokyo," Nabiki said to Ranma. "Besides, he wouldn't have run off if YOU hadn't chased after him Kinma-baby."

"Whatever," Akane said. "Right now, I need to practice."

She grabbed two clubs in her hands. Ranma got into a defensive stance and Kinma hefted his staff. Akane ran straight at the Saotome brothers-

-and tripped herself on the ball, spraining her ankle.

"Akane, you're such a klutz," Nabiki said as Kasumi finished bandaging Akane's ankle. The three girls and two brothers were in Akane's room.

Kasumi closed her first-aid kit. "I guess you have no choice but to forfeit the match Akane."

"No!" Akane cried. "I'll be there. I'm not going to let that girl beat me!" She tried to get up from the bed but screamed when her foot touched the floor.

"See," Kasumi said, "you'll have to find a replacement."

"But who?" Akane said. "Where are we going to find a girl with fast reflexes, gymnastic agility who looks good in a leotard?"

Kinma looked at Ranma. "I think I may know a girl…." His voice trailed off. Suddenly everyone in the room was looking at Ranma.

"Oh no." Ranma backed away, holding up his hands. "I'm not going out there in some leotard."

Suddenly coldwater splashed on the younger Saotome boy. Ryoga stood in the doorway holding an empty bucket and smirking at a soaking female Ranma. "I guess we'll be practicing all night, huh, Ranma?"

Kinma, Ryoga, Akane, Nabiki and Ranma-chan were in the dojo. Ranma was wearing Akane's leotard and holding a gymnastics ribbon.

"Okay," Ryoga began, "the match is tomorrow. The only way you can master all the techniques in one night is to fight for real. Are you ready?"

"Hiyah!" Ran leaped up and kicked Ryoga square in the face. "That was too easy."

Suddenly Ryoga wrapped a rope around Ranma's ankle and pulled her down. "Use the tools! Are you some kind animal!"

"At least I'm not a mangy mu-." Ranma began, but stopped when she saw her brother shake his head and slid a finger across his throat. "Okay. From the top." She attacked with the ribbon, and Ryoga fought back with the clubs.

"Man, you are pretty good little bro." Kinma put in.

"You should be doing this." Ranma said as she ducked under a swing from Ryoga's club. "You always took better to fighting with weapons."

"Sorry, but I fell into the wrong Jusenkyo spring for it."

The fight continued. Ranma grabbed a hoop with her foot and kicked it at Ryoga. The bandanaed boy jumped, and his clubs down on Ranma, who blocked with a pair of her own.

"You _are _good, Ranma." said Akane in amazement.

"He." Ranma shrugged. "I haven't been watching you all week for nothing, you know."

"You don't even need to practice."

Suddenly Ryoga tossed a ball that landed squarely in Ranma's face. "Maybe he does just a little," Nabiki added.

Ranma looked over at the Tendo sisters. "Maybe you better both go to bed."

"No, I couldn't."

"Oh?" Nabiki glanced at her sister. "Are you worried about him?"

"That's not what I said!" Akane shot back angrily.

"C'mon girls." Kinma stretched and headed for the door. "I think we'd better turn in. Ranma and Ryoga should be all right."

"I suppose," Akane said, then looked at Ryoga. "Say, where's your sister."

"Oh, ah, she'll be around." Ryoga said. "It's just that with our family, we just disappear from time to time." His words belied how worried he was. Yoiko wasn't as good a fighter as he was, and while he could defend himself as a dog, Yoiko was completely helpless as a little pig.

"Well, anyway goodnight." Kinma left the room, soon to be followed by Akane and Nabiki.

Ryoga looked at Ranma. "I just happened to hear," he said slyly, "what you and your brother promised."

"And what is that?" Ranma asked

"That if you lose, both you and Kinma will go out with Kodachi. Which means, your brother's engagement to Nabiki will be finished. Because of that," he stretched his ribbon tight, "I'll see that you lose!"

"I thought so!" Ranma cried out. "Well, I've got no intention of losing!"

They ran at each other, when all of a sudden, Ryoga tripped. Before he hit the floor, his ribbon suddenly tied itself around him and he landed trussed up like a chicken to be roasted.

"A word of advise, Hibiki," Kinma's voice called out from nowhere. "Never announce your plans where a guy who can turn invisible might hear them."

Yoiko shivered. She'd been inside this cage for three days now, naked except for a collar around her neck and only taken out to be washed and played with.

Suddenly the door opened, and Yoiko's eyes widened in terror as she saw her tormentor enter the room.

Asuza Shiratori looked down at the little balck piglet. "There there Charlotte," she said, smiling sweetly. "Be good and maybe Mommy will take you out for a walk today."

End of chapter eleven.

Sorry it took so long for me to update. I kind of got wrapped up in another story, and then my computer crashed.

Okay, here's what I want to ask you. I'm thinking about having Akane learn that Yoiko is P-Chan. Do you think she'll be angry, or will shefeel sorryfor the Hibiki girl?

And, since Kodachi's fallen for both Ranma and Kinma, the fiancee who goes after Kinma _instead_ of Ranma is still up in the air. Should it be Ukyo or Shampoo? And would you like me to create more fiancees for Kinma? I mean, think of what Genma would do with _two _sons!


	12. 12: A Girl, a Pig, an Invisible Man

Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. No Money is being made from this work of Fanfiction-and if you thought there was, you must also be interested in buying stock in GM.

To Follow the Ten Thousand Yen Horse

By

Darknight Squire

Chapter 12: A Girl, a Pig, an Invisible Man, and a crazed Gymnast

"I hurt myself yesterday," Akane explained to Kodachi. "This girl here will be taking my place."

Kodachi peered over at Ranma-chan. "Yes, I remember you. You're that pigtailed girl from the other day." She stretched out her hand. "You will be fighting fair today, won't you?"

Ranma was about to extend her hand to shake when Akane suddenly grabbed Kodachi's and turned it over. Between each finger was a thumbtack. "And who are you to talk about fighting fair."

"Oh my and how did those tacks get in there?" Kodachi's voice was the sound of perfect innocence.

"I can't believe it that girl!" Akane cried out as she opened the door to the guest changing room.

"Hey, she just thinks all's fair in love and war," Nabiki put in.

The Tendo sisters and Ranma suddenly saw Genma-panda waiting next to the lockers. "Oh, hi pop." Ranma said.

Ranma quickly changed from her ordinary clothes into her leotard. "Where is that brother of mine? He walked over here with us, but now he's just disappeared."

"Right behind you."

Ranma turned around at the sound of Kinma's voice. Sure enough, she saw nothing. "Don't do that, Kinma!"

"Kinma! What are you doing in the changing room!" Akane cried out.

"Relax. The only one changing clothes was Ranma and you think I get excited by my little bro's girl body?"

"If it doesn't excite you, why do you keep taking pictures, Kinma-baby?" Nabiki smirked.

"Hey, that's just to sell for cash!" Kinma roared at his fiancée. "You think I'm some kind of pervert?"

"Now that you mention it-." Before Nabiki could finish, there was a knock on the door. She opened and saw a bouquet on the floor.

Carefully she picked it up. "Black roses?"

Suddenly the roses were yanked out of her hands and disappeared. "Get out of here!" Kinma's voice cried out.

The three girls and invisible young man raced out of the room, and slammed the door shut. They heard a small explosion and then peeked inside. On the floor was Genma-panda lying fast asleep.

"Sleeping gas?" Akane asked.

"Boy, Kuno-baby's sister does like to play dirty." Added Nabiki.

"St. Heberke's School for Girl's." Yoiko Hibiki read as she leaned on the walking stick. She had escaped from Azusa Shiratori's clutched three days ago. She would have gone straight to the Tendo Dojo, but the notorious Hibiki sense of direction had her wandering all across Japan. Now here she was at the school Akane was supposed to compete at. "I hope she does all right." Yoiko said to herself. "She's been so good to me, me and Ryoga helping to train her was the least I could do. And at least since I escaped from that Shiratori girl I haven't even once changed into a-."

All of a sudden Yoiko was hit from above with a bucketful of water.

Kino Kimiko looked at the girl she shared her dorm with. "Be careful Reiko," she said, "someone could be down there."

Jiro Reiko looked over the bucket she'd used to throw out the bathwater. "Don't worry, it's just a little pig."

P-chan looked up at the girl who splashed her. Of all the rotten luck.

"Oh look!" P-chan saw three girls in school uniforms standing over her. "It's a little piggy."

One of them picked P-chan up and held her to her chest. "Oh, she's so cute!"

"Let me hold her next!" another girl said.

_If I were my brother, _P-chan thought, _my nose would be bleeding. Why can't guys ever act like this?_

Suddenly the little pig was plucked from the girl holding her. She was turned around and found herself looking face to face at Kodachi.

The gymnast smiled. "Oh, I know just what to do with you, my little friend."

The gym for the St. Heberke School for girls was packed both with it's own students and those from Furinkan. Kodachi's classmates were all cheering for her and waving banners proclaiming WE LOVE KODACHI and KODACHI # 1.

The announcer sat her desk. "HEY THERE LADIES AND GENTLMEN. AND WELCOME TO THE SAINT HEBERKE vs. FURINKAN HIGH RYTHMIC GYMNASTICS WRESTLING TOURNEMANT! AND LET'S ALL GIVE A ROUSING CHEER FOR ST HEBERKE'S VERY OWN RYTHMIC GYMNASTICS CHAMPIAN KODACHI 'THE BLACK ROSE' KUNO!" Kodachi's classmates all cheered as she walked down the aisle and entered the ring.

"AND HERE COMES THE CHALLANGER!" Furinkan's students cheered this time, then stopped, puzzled as instead of Akane Ranma-chan leaped into the ring. "FROM FURINKAN HIGH, THE CHALLENGER-." The announcer stopped, uncertain. She sent an assistant over to the ring.

"Your name please?" the assistant asked.

"Ranma Saotome."

"Little Bro!" Kinma's voice whispered into Ranma's ear, "Do you think that's wise? Using your own name like that?"

"No problem." Ranma said.

"RANMA SAOTOME!" the announcer shouted.

Across the Furinkan section, the students whispered to each other. "Did she just say Ranma Saotome?" "I guess she does kind of look like Ranma." "Maybe they're cousins or something." Or maybe she's his twin sister." "Na. I know Ranma and he only has a brother Kinma." "Didn't Kuno say Ranma was a cross dresser?"

Tatiwaki Kuno smiled to himself. "Ah, at last. That cross-dressing pervert will be exposed. And won't these simpletons all be ashamed when the realize the girl whose pictures they've been buying from Kinma Saotome is none other than his own brother!"

"See?" Ranma looked in the direction of her brother's voice. "None of them suspect a thing?"

"CHAMPIONS TO THE CENTER!" the announcer shouted. Ranma and Kodachi walked over to the center of the ring.

"Now," said the referee, "shake hands."

The two girls extended their hands forward to shake, when Kodachi pointed over Ranma's shoulder. "Look, over there."

"Huh?" Ranma looked over her shoulder, then suddenly felt cold steel snap against her left wrist. "Yoiko?"

"P-chan!" Akane cried from just outside the ring.

Right Next to Ranma, the entire gym was stunned by a loud, deafening, scream that seeming came from nowhere.

Ranma looked down at P-chan. "I'm awful sorry you got mixed up in this," she whispered to the little pig. "Just try to stay out of my way and you won't get hurt." She then looked over at Kodachi. "Okay, I don't like beating up girls, so I'll knock you out of the ring before you get hurt!"

Kodachi dodged the ribbon Ranma whipped at her. "How very kind of you to worry about me," she smiled evilly. She twirled a rope in her hands. "However, I won't make it any easier on YOU!"

Akane and Nabiki grabbed around the ring floor with a towel. Suddenly the towel turned invisible and they felt Kinma's leg underneath. Quickly they pulled the older Saotome boy from the ring, grateful the crowd's attention was focused on the fight between Ranma and Kodachi.

Kodachi went at Ranma with a rope. "JUST WHAT WE'VE COME TO EXPECT FROM THE FLOWER OF HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASTICS!" the announcer shouted. "SHE HANDLES THE ROPE AS IF IT WERE A STEEL BAR!" Suddenly Kodachi whacked Ranma on the top of her head with the rope. "WAIT A MINUTE! IT _IS_ A STEEL BAR!"

"Referee!" Akane shouted. "That's a foul!"

The referee looked at Akane. "It's legal as long as it's not a barehanded blow."

Kodachi next whipped out her clubs and charged at her opponent. She jabbed repeatedly at Ranma, who swerved and dodged each blow-until her left cheek got scratched by spikes from one of Kodachi's clubs.

"Referee!" Akane yelled, "That club has spikes!"

The referee looked at Kodachi. "I don't see any spikes."

"A club that has retractable spikes," Kuno mused. "My sister, you are truly devious."

One of the St. Heberke girls looked over at Kuno. "Is that Kodachi's brother? He's so handsome."

The girl seated next to her nodded. "I'm in love."

Kinma's flunkies Kiroshi and Genosho overheard the two girls. "Did she just say that about Kuno?" Genosho asked.

Kiroshi shrugged. "In this case, I'd say ignorance is bliss."

Kodachi struck a pose with her clubs. "Make no mistake," she declared, "I only do this so I may date with my darlings Kinma and Ranma!"

"If either I or my brother want to go out with you," Ranma declared as she grabbed P-chan between her feet-_I hope I don't hurt you to bad Yoiko-_, "I'll ask for it!" and then jumped and slammed P-chan into Kodachi's face.

"P-chan!" Akane cried out.

"WHAT A CLEVER WAY TO USE A PIG!" the announcer cried. "FORTUNATLY, PIGS ARE LEGAL TOOLS!"

"And who spoke of a date with YOU, or our brother, whoever he is?" Kodachi said as she charged Ranma with her clubs.

"Uh, right."

Kodachi stuck at Ranma with her clubs, who kept using the chain to block them. "Promise me one thing," Ranma cried out. "If you lose, you'll give up on Kinma and Ranma both."

"Ho Whohoohohohoo." Kodachi looked at Ranma. "So you want them too, don't you!"

"No," and this time Ranma gave a small smile. "I AM Ranma!"

"Wha-!" Kodachi took two steps back then looked closer. Her brother had told her Ranma was a cross-dresser, but the person she saw before her was obviously female, and much shorter and slimmer than Ranma-"you-you turn into a girl."

Ranma blinked. "You know?"

Kodachi looked at Ranma, then over at Akane outside the ring. "Oh I see it all now. Unable to face me, Akane Tendo has cast an evil spell that has turned you female, and she won't change you back unless you do her bidding. But have no worry my love," and she resumed her attack, "I shall free you from her!"

"You don't get it at all!" Ranma cried out.

Kodachi took a hoop from her second and hurled it a Ranma, who blocked it with her chain-which suddenly parted way.

"A razor hoop!" Ranma exclaimed. She then looked at Kodachi. "Okay that does it! Now I'm really mad!"

The now-free P-chan ran out of the ring and into Akane's arms. "Oh P-chan. Thank goodness you're safe."

Suddenly P-chan's snout flared at a familiar scent. A pig can't smell as far as a dog, but the object was very close and recognizable. "That's just Kinma," Akane whispered into P-chan's ear. "He's both invisible and he's fainted-otherwise, he'd be screaming at the sight of you."

Ranma and Kodachi continued going at each other-until at one point Kodachi landed on top of a post. _Just where I want you. _Ranma leaped up and extended her footed towards Kodachi.

"Hey!" Kodachi shouted. "No attacking without the tools."

"Yeah," Ranma cried, "and the tool's right underneath you!" Her foot connected-to the post Kodachi was sitting on. The post parted ways and before Kodachi could leap she fell-right out of the ring.

The referee grabbed Ranma's hand and held it up. "The Winner and new champion, Ranma Saotome!"

The crowd's cheers brought Kinma back to consciousness. "Wha-whats going on?"

"Oh Kinma-baby, your brother just won." Nabiki smiled. "So now you don't have to worry about going out with that Kuno girl anymore."

Kodachi got to her feet and walked over to Ranma, who'd just gotten out of the ring and to Akane. "I, Kodachi, the Black Rose of St. Heberke, have been defeated. And, as you asked, I give up all my present affection for you, and your brother Kinma."

Ranma blinked. "You do?"

Kodachi nodded. "Now I burn, with a brand new passion-for Kinma alone!"

Now Ranma fainted.

Two girls in St. Heberke school uniforms came up to Nabiki. Kinma watched as she took them aside, talked with them for several minutes, and then received several yen bills from them.

She went back to where Kinma was waiting. "Who are those two girls?" Kinma's voice asked.

"Just my contacts at St. Herberke's." Nabiki now smiled. "You may have taken down my operation at Furinkan, Kinma-baby, but I've been expanding elsewhere. And one day I'll be taking Furinkan back from you."

"In your dreams."

Kinma and Nabiki walked over to Akane and Ranma, who was just coming to. "Kinma, are you there?" Ranma asked.

"Right here, little bro," Kinma's voice whispered into Ranma's ear.

"I've got some good news and bad news." Ranma said. "The good news is, Kodachi's given up on me-she's kind of figured out my curse in a way. Bad news she still wants you-and I don't think learning you turn invisible will turn her away."

"My problem, little bro."

All of a sudden the wall on the far side of the gym began to rumble, then crack, and finally a big hole appeared. And standing on the other side of the hole were two sixteen-year-old girls in Chinese style warrior clothing. One had her hair dyed purple and was holding a pair of bonboris, the other with bright green hair held a Chinese-style beheading sword.

Ranma looked at the two girls. "Sh-Shampoo!" she stammered. "And her twin sister Conditioner!"

The purple-haired one pointed a bonbori at Ranma. "Ranma," she said.

She then looked at her sister who nodded and shouted with Shampoo in Chinese-accented Japanese, "We Kill!"

End of chapter 12.

Okay, I've introduced another new character. Tell me what you think. And give me some suggestions in the direction I should take her.

If you're wondering why Kinma hasn't tried to get Kodachi to treat him to fancy places or buy him expensive gifts, well, he just doesn't think that way. He chases after money like Nabiki, but that doesn't mean he's exactly like her. He'll spy on girls, blackmail them, take their photos and sell them for money, and humiliate them for the sake of revenge, but he just doesn't have it in him to be a gigolo.

A thing I think I should tell you about Kinma's phobia of pigs-when Genma tried to cure him of it and only made it worse by repeatedly throwing his older son into pigstys, he at least was thoughtful to make sure the pigs were small so they couldn't hurt Kinma too badly. But like anything Genma usually does it backfired-the smaller the pig, the more frightened Kinma is!

And one question I want to ask my readers-what kind of a brother do you think Kinma is? Compared to Genma as a father or Nabiki as a sister.


	13. 13: Shampoo and Conditioner

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. No money is being made from their use in this work of Fanfiction-sorry to disappoint any lawyers who were thinking about suing.

To Follow The Ten Thousand Yen Horse

By

Robert K. Hackney

Chapter thirteen: Enter Shampoo and Conditioner

Ranma looked at the two girls. "Sh-Shampoo!" she stammered. "And her twin sister Conditioner!"

The purple-hair one pointed a bonbori at Ranma. "Ranma," she said.

She then looked at her sister who shouted with Shampoo in Chinese-accented Japanese, "We kill!"

The purple-haired one leaped at Ranma who swerved out of the way. The green haired girl slashed at Ranma with her sword. Ranma just barely managed to duck under the blade when she suddenly felt a hand on shoulder and another one grabbed her own. Suddenly Ranma saw her entire body disappear from view.

"Don't worry little bro, I got you," Kinma's voice whispered in her ear.

Shampoo and Conditioner looked from left to right. "Where she go?" Conditioner asked.

Akane pointed to the big hole in the wall. "She went that way."

Conditioner swung her sword in anger, just barely missing the invisible Ranma's face. "Running again, is she?" She and Shampoo raced out the hole, shouting Ranma's name.

"Whew." Ranma sighed when Kinma let go of her and she became visible again.

"Those two girls," Akane asked Ranma, "do you know them?"

"You could say that."

Nabiki cocked her eyebrow. "Awfully cute, weren't they?"

"Are you nuts?" Ranma cried. "They trying to kill me!"

Akane, Nabiki, Ranma and Kinma were walking along the canal on their way home. Ranma and Kinma were both their normal selves and walking on top of the canal railway. Akane walked up ahead with P-Chan cradled in her arms so the little pig wouldn't frighten Kinma.

Nabiki looked up at the two Saotomes. "Why don't you tell us what is it with those two Chinese girls."

"Well," Kinma began, "it all started shortly after we were at Jusenkyo….."

_Ranma, Kinma, and Genma followed the Guide through the forest. As luck would have it, it had just rained, turning them into their cursed forms._

"_Aw, jeez, here I get myself turned into a girl again!" Ranma-chan shouted angrily. "This backpack gets heavier when I'm like this."_

"_Need any help, SIS?" Kinma's voice said next to Ranma._

"_I'm fine, thank you." Ranma said sardonically. _

"_Boy you're irritable. Must be that time of the month, huh?"_

_Ranma looked in the direction her brother's voice had come. "You're lucky you're invisible, big brother."_

"_I'm right over here," Kinma's voice called from the other side. _

_Ranma sighed. _More than one hundred of those cursed springs and HE gets to fall into one that's pretty cool to turn into. And I'm hungry to boot.

"_Ah, here we are mister customers," the guide pointed, "the village of Amazon women, the Jokenatsu."_

"_Jokenatsu?" Ranma asked. "What kind of food is that?"_

"_I don't think he's talking about food, little bro."_

"_In this village, and several others, the women very powerful," the guide explained as he led them to a table set in the village square. "Legend say they descended from Greek Amazon who come to China fleeing Alexander the Great."_

_The four sat down. "Oh, we very lucky today sirs. Today the Amazon womens holding tournament." The guide pointed to a horizontal log suspended by ropes from four posts. _

_The contestant at one end looked like a Sumo wrestler in drag. "That's a woman?" Kinma asked incredulously. _

_The guide pointed at the contestant at the other end-Shampoo. "That one more pretty, no?"_

_Shampoo and the big ox-like woman went at each other with their weapons, until Shampoo sent her opponent flying. "That girl's got some serious strength." Ranma said in admiration as she downed an ear of corn from the table._

_The guide looked at the redheaded girl and the panda. "Uh, sirs, what you eating?"_

_Kinma looked at his father and female brother, he'd been so busy watching the tournament he hadn't noticed them gorging themselves on the feast laid down at the table. Suddenly he noticed the sign in front. Unlike his father he had learned to read a little Chinese in his short time here; the sign read _FIRST PRIZE_. "Pop, bro, I don't think you're supposed to eat that."_

_SMACK! A bonbori flew at Ranma, who leaped out of the way. When she landed, she saw herself confronting an angry looking Shampoo, who spoke rather hasty in Chinese._

_A girl who looked just like Shampoo save she dyed her hair green instead of purple came up. "I, Kahn-Dix-Ohnar, translate for twin sister Xian-Pu: Little woman, big panda, why you eat my prize?" Shampoo spoke some more. Conditioner translated: Every day this year is martial arts tournament. Today, Xian-Pu is champion."_

_Ranma swallowed the last of the food she'd eaten. "So if I beat you you've got no problem, right?" Conditioner spoke to Shampoo in Chinese, who looked at Ranma and nodded._

_The two girls got up on the fighting log. The referee blew her whistle and immediately Shampoo rushed at Ranma with her bonboris-only to thrown off of the log with a single kick._

"_Aw too bad," the guide said." "He win."_

"_That's my little brother!" Kinma shouted in glee._

_Shampoo spit the dirt out of her mouth as her sister helped her up-and saw the referee holding up Ranma's hand, declaring her the new champion._

_Suddenly, all the Amazons parted ways as Shampoo and Conditioner came up to Ranma. Shampoo held Ranma's face in her hands, then kissed her on the cheek._

Akane kicked the rail right underneath Ranma, who immediately jumped out of the way. "I though you said you were a girl at the time!"

"Hey!" Kinma cried out behind her, "let me finish!"

_After Shampoo let go of Ranma, Conditioner gave her an identical kiss on her other cheek. "Now sister and I both give outsider Kiss of Death!"_

_Suddenly the guide grabbed Ranma by the wrists and pulled her away. "Run run sirs!"_

_Ranma looked around as the she ran with the guide. "B-but why?"_

"_Because Jokenatsu women have much pride sirs!" the guide said between exhausted gasps. "Losing to outsider is great shame and so customer be getting Kiss of Death-a promise to track down to ends of earth and KILL!"_

_Suddenly Ranma and the guide both went invisible. "Don't worry little bro, I got you." Kinma's voice called out._

_Shampoo, Conditioner, and the mob of Amazons following them suddenly stopped. "Where-where they go?" Shampoo asked._

"_No can see?" Conditioner said, then pointed with her sword. "Look! There Panda! Let's kill!"_

"_No," Shampoo blocked her sister with her bonbori. "Panda just dumb animal, no know better. Besides, sister want cousin Powder over us?"_

_Conditioner sobered. "She no same since fall in Spring of Drowned Annoying Greenpeace Activist."_

"_Whoever fall in spring become annoying Greenpeace activist-that the tragedy."_

"So that's the story, huh?" Nabiki said.

"Pretty much." Kinma said. "Anywhere we went in China afterwards, those two followed us-we couldn't get a moment's rest."

"And now they've followed you back to Japan," said Akane. She held up the pig in her arms and looked her in the face. "Amazing, isn't it P-Chan?"

The four of them came to the gate of the Tendo Dojo, finding a wolf-dog wearing a bandanna around it's neck and several ropes trailing from his legs.

"Dollars!" Nabiki ran up to the dog who ran up and licked her face. "Who tied you up like that, boy?"

Dollars looked at Kinma and snarled. Nabiki went over to her fiancé and slapped him in the face. "You tied up my dog! What kind of guy are you, to be torturing poor animals at your age?"

Kinma rubbed the cheek where Nabiki had slapped him. "That mangy mutt had it coming."

Nabiki slapped him again. "And you had that one coming." She took she walked to the house, followed by Dollars. "Don't worry baby, Mommy will put something on those rope burns."

Ranma, Kinma, and Akane followed Nabiki into the house. Kasumi poked her head from the dining room. "Oh Ranma, you have a visitor."

Ranma and Kinma went into the dining room and saw the two Amazon sisters sitting at the table. "What are they doing here?" Ranma exclaimed.

Kasumi pointed to Genma-Panda sleeping in a corner. "Mr. Saotome brought them home."

Shampoo and Conditioner both looked up. "Ranma?"

Kinma walked over to the corner and grabbed Genma by the collar. "Are you insane, Pop? Those girls want to kill Ranma!"

Genma-Panda held up a sign. HEY THEY FOLLOWED ME!

The two Chinese girls looked over Ranma. They touched his shoulderes, patted his chest, and even his groin. "Is-man." Shampoo said in confusion.

"S-sorry to disappoint you two." Ranma said nervously.

"So she's never seen the male Ranma, huh?" Kinma and Ranma both looked to see Ryoga standing in the doorway with a water pistol in his right hand.

"What are you doing with that thing?" Ranma pointed at Ryoga's water gun.

Ryoga smiled. "They came here to find a girl, didn't they?" You wouldn't want to disappoint them."

Akane and Nabiki came into the dining room. "Okay, Ranma," Akane asked, "what are those two doing here?"

Shampoo and Conditioner looked at Akane. "Where girl Ranma?"

"I don't know."

Shampoo hefted her bonbori. "You hide Ranma!"

Nabiki grinned. "I can tell you where she is for 5,000 yen!"

Conditioner whipped out her sword. "You try to extort money from Amazons!" She looked at her sister and nodded.

"WE KILL!"

The two Amazon's rushed at the Tendo sisters. But before either of them could strike, Ranma kicked the head off of Shampoo's bonbori, and Kinma blocked Conditioner's sword with his staff. On reflex, he brought the other end of his staff between Conditioner's legs and tripped her. Shampoo's broken bonbori crashed down on her head, and both sisters crashed to the floor.

Ryoga shook his head. "Defeated again-only this time by male Ranma and Kinma.

Ranma and Kinma backed away. "That-that was an accident."

"Ranma, don't be so modest. Of course the two of you defeated them!" Kasumi said in her usual cheerful obliviousness.

Genma nodded his panda head. KNOCKOUT.

Akane held her hand over her mouth "But that means they'll both be coming after-."

"The male Ranma AND Kinma-baby," Nabiki finished for her.

Shampoo and Conditioner both got up, a little dazed. "Ohhhh," Shampoo said as she walked towards Ranma.

"Ki-Kinma?" Conditioner said as she approached the older Saotome brother.

Ranma and Kinma both backed away, but Ryoga pushed them forward. "C'mon, both of you! Take your Kisses of Death like men!"

Shampoo and Conditioner both wrapped their arms around the Saotome brothers, and on their mouths, each planted a long, passionate kiss."

"Whoa, that's some Kiss of Death." Nabiki said in amazement.

End of Chapter thirteen.

Okay, sorry I took so long to update.

Don't worry too much my next update will be a lot sooner. At least less than a month. I was on vacation.

Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Conditioner's kind of what Nabiki would be like if she were raised as an Amazon-she's just as money hungry as Nabiki and Kinma, but unlike Nabiki she'd do her own dirty work instead of paying or blackmailing someone else to do it for her. She's also smarter than Shampoo, although her Japanese is only a little better. Yet at the same time she's extremely devoted and loyal to her sister and will help her out with anything-that's why she gave Ranma-chan the kiss of death along with Shampoo.

Anyway, should she get cursed to turn into a cat like Shampoo? It really wouldn't block her pursuit of Kinma who isn't afraid of cats at all-and no I won't have her turn into a pig like Yoiko! I can't help but think twins should get the same kind of curse. It just fits together.

Another thing: Kinma loves to make money, and I've already shown some ways he uses his ability to turn invisible to get it. Can any of you readers think of some others, And remember, he thinks petty theft, burglary, and picking pockets are beneath him. as well as cheating at cards.

Tell me what you think!


	14. 14: Shampooed and Conditioned

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. The only ones I own are Kinma Saotome and any other new characters I create-and if anyone decides to steal them, well, you won't make any more money than I am.

Chapter Fourteen: Shampooed and Conditioned

"Whoa," Nabiki said. "That's some kiss of death."

Soun Tendo entered the room. "Can anyone tell me what is going on?"

Kasumi looked at her father, then at the two Chinese sisters still embracing Kinma and Ranma. "Well, I'm not really sure, but it seems like Kinma and Ranma's girlfriends from China came here so they could finish them off, or so they could finish something-."

Soun glared at the Saotome brothers. "_Girlfriends?_"

"That's not how it happened!" Ranma shouted.

Ryoga looked at Ranma and Kinma in amusement. "But that's mostly how it happened, eh, Ranma, Kinma?"

"Listen, Hibiki," Kinma said to Ryoga, "Neither of these two has seen Ranma as a guy or seen me!"

"So you say."

"Still," Soun said as he looked at the two boys," it's hard not to see you any other way."

Conditioner held up a small booklet. "Maybe this help."

Soun took the booklet and opened it. "Well," Ranma asked, "what does it say?"

Soun looked up from the booklet. "You know perfectly well I can't read Chinese!"

"Here," Kinma said as he took the booklet from Soun, "maybe I can make it out."

After staring at it for several seconds, Kinma's face fell and he shook his head. "Doesn't look good for us little bro. It says here that if an outsider defeats an Amazon woman and the outsider is a woman, she must give her the kiss of death and kill without delay. But if the outsider is a man-she must make him her husband!"

"You-you is making that up!"

Kinma looked at his brother, Conditioner sill had her arms around his body. "Do you think I would joke about I thing like _this?"_

"You only learned a little Chinese while we were there! It's not that good!"

"No," Kinma said as he held the open book towards his brother, "but there's a Japanese translation at the end of it."

Soun thumped his head. "And I missed that completely!"

"So you've got a beautiful Amazon wanting to marry you, Kinma-baby." Nabiki turned and walked to door. "How nice for you."

Akane followed Nabiki. "Goodbye!"

"Nabiki, wait!" Kinma called out.

"Akane, please!" Ranma added.

Nabiki just walked out the doorway. But Akane turned around and said, "As far as I'm concerned, Ranma," her voice filled ice, "our engagement never happened!"

"Ranma you jerk!" Akane cried as she kicked the straw dummy wearing a read shirt and a black wig done up in a pigtail, "Ranma You Jerk! RANMA YOU JERK!"

The dummy's head flew off of its body. Akane walked over and picked it up. "That whole engagement thing was all our dads' stupid idea. It's not like we were in love or anything."

"Hello sis." Akane looked and saw Nabiki had come up behind her, carrying a blue shirt like the ones Kinma wore. "How about attacking another dummy?"

Nabiki walked over to the next dummy, placed the shirt and a broken pair of sports glasses over its face. "Now all we need is that wig, and it'll look just like Kinma-baby."

"Excuse me," Akane and Nabiki saw Kasumi poke her head around the corner of the house. "There something on the over here I think you both should see."

All three Tendo sisters walked to the other side of the dojo. They saw Ranma sitting on top of a post and Kinma with his back against the wall, each with their prospective Amazon suitors trying to glomp them.

"Listen Shampoo," Ranma said, "that Amazon stuff is all right in backwoods China. But this is Japan! Your laws don't apply here!"

"Yeah," Kinma said in agreement. "Besides Conditioner, any law that says you have to kill the girls or marry the guys just because they beat you in combat belongs in the Stone Age!"

"Woda ani!" said Conditioner as she nuzzled Kinma's cheek.

"Woda ani?" Kasumi pulled a small Japanese-Chinese dictionary out from her apron and flipped through the pages. "'It's you I love?'"

"Woda alen!" Shampoo said.

Nabiki grabbed Kasumi's dictionary. She frowned as she found what she was looking for. "'My beloved husband.'"

"Please," Kinma said as he tried to push Conditioner away, "We barely know each other!"

"So," Kasumi said to her sisters, "don't you think you should make it up with those two. It's not like they want those two girls after them."

The red in Akane's face got lighter. "I suppose I could-."

"-So, we should like, get to know each other better!" Ranma blurted out.

"Yeah!" Kinma nodded.

"Oh my," Kasumi shook her head. "Such weaklings."

Nabiki looked at Akane whose face was getting redder and redder. "Are you following this, Akane?"

Suddenly Genma-Panda ran out and whacked both his sons into the sky with his board-sign. **LISTEN TO YOURSELVES, DOLTS!**

Ranma and Kinma got up from their knees. "They've both been trying to kill you all this time little bro, so I never noticed-."

"-But Shampoo and Conditioner are pretty cute." Ranma finished. "If only Akane were that nice."

"Or Nabiki." Kinma snorted, then fell to the ground laughing. "Imagine! The Ice Queen acting that affectionate-that will happen right before the next Ice Age!"

SPLOOSH! Both brothers were splashed from behind them with water.

Ranma-chan turned and saw Ryoga sitting right on top of the roof with an empty bucket. "Ryoga!" she cried, "what'd you do that for!"

"You know, seeing Nabiki or her sister become jealous of a pair of jerks like you two-," Ryoga said, "has really made me sick!"

He threw the bucket at Ranma, who fell off the roof when it hit her. She managed to land on her feet. "Why should you care if Akane's jealous?"

"Jealous?" Ranma turned and saw Akane standing right behind her. "Who me? Why would I be jealous? After all we're not engaged anymore." Suddenly she slapped Ranma as hard as she could. "SO GET TO KNOW HER ALL YOU WANT!"

"Akane-," Ranma started as Akane stormed off.

"Female Ranma!" Ranma looked and saw the Amazon sisters right behind her, brandishing their weapons. "WE KILL!"

The two sisters chased after Ranma, who immediately ducked behind a bush. "Will those two ever give up?"

"Psst!" Ranma looked and saw Nabiki standing behind a tree holding a kettle. "Over here."

Ranma crawled over to Nabiki. "Thanks Nabiki, you're a lifesaver."

"With tax, your total is 15000 yen."

Ranma scowled. "Kind of steep, isn't it."

"Suit yourself." Nabiki began to pour the water out, then suddenly felt the Kettle wrench from her hand and disappear.

"Here you are little bro," Kinma's voice said as water poured seemingly out from nowhere, turning Ranma-chan back into Ranma-kun.

"Thanks Kinma," Ranma said as he stood up.

"Male Ranma!" The three saw Shampoo drop her weapons and rush over at Ranma; her arms wide open. "You I love!"

Ranma ran off as fast as his legs could carry him. "This is even worse!"

"Why'd you have to do that?" Nabiki said where Kinma's voice had come from.

"I'm over here." The voice said behind her. Nabiki turned around. "Ranma's my brother and those two are trying to kill him! And you're trying to extort money out of him for it! Jeez, how cold can you get?"

"Cold enough to hotten you up, perhaps?" Nabiki took a small thermos from her pocket and threw its contents where she heard the voice. Sure enough, Kinma appeared right in front of her.

"Kinma!" Conditioner cried out in joy. "You I love!"

Soun watched the whole thing from the family room doorway. "When he's a boy, she just wants him. And when he's a girl, she wants him dead. And with the other two-," he turned to a panda sitting at the table, it's head and shoulders slumped, "-it's almost as funny. Saotome, with you and those two sons of yours here, there's never a dull moment. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad." Tears welled up in his eyes. "I'M SO GLAD!" He broke down into sobs.

Akane woke up the next morning. "Good morning, P-Chan," she said to the little pig asleep at her pillow.

Quickly she got into her school uniform and gathered her books, then went to the dining room for breakfast. Her father, Kasumi, and Nabiki were already at the table eating.

"Akane," Kasumi said, "shouldn't you go wake up the Saotomes?"

"Why should I?" Akane growled.

"Why…?"

"She's still holding a grudge because of Ranma and Shampoo." Nabiki said.

"Like you're not holding one because of Kinma and Conditioner?" Akane asked smugly.

"Hey, like I care about what Kinma-baby does with that Amazon." Nabiki went back to eating.

"Akane, Nabiki!" Soun Tendo looked at his daughters. "Isn't it time both of you stopped this silly game you're playing and just be open with them."

"Like how?" both girls growled.

Soun broke down sobbing. "They-they both yelled at me!"

"There, there father, it's all right." Kasumi consoled Soun.

Nabiki got up from the table. "We might as well wake them up." The two sisters walked over to the Saotomes' room.

When they got there, however, what they found was were the two Amazons-Shampoo laying next to Ranma in his futon, Conditioner next to Kinma in his.

Splash! Ranma suddenly awoke to find himself-or rather herself-cold, wet, and female. "Akane!" she cried, seeing her fiancée holding a bucket, "What are you doing?"

Shampoo awoke, and after blinking the sleep from her eyes, saw instead of the man she wanted was the voluptuous redhead she wanted dead.

Kinma and Conditioner awoke too, and suddenly the Chinese twins brandished their weapons. "Female Ranma!" they shouted, "WE KILL!"

The two chased Ranma-chan around the house. Suddenly she disappeared from sight. "I've got you little bro," Kinma whispered into Ranma's ear.

Shampoo and Conditioner looked around the hallway. "Where she go?"

Suddenly Dollars appeared from Nabiki's room, and his nose picked up Ranma and Kinma's scent. He lept at Kinma, forcing him to let go of his female brother.

"Girl Ranma! We Kill!"

Somehow, Ranma and Kinma managed to turn back to their normal selves, shake of the Amazon twins, and catch up to Akane and Nabiki on their way to school.

"Akane, those two girls just crawled into our bedroom without our knowing."

"Right." Kinma added. "There's no reason for either of you to be jealous."

"Jealous?" Nabiki laughed. "Why would I be jealous over a pervert who takes nude photos of his own brother!"

"I do that for money!" Kinma shouted. "Besides, if I'm such a pervert, how come you sleep with a dog?"

"Now you're jealous of a dog?" Nabiki smirked. "How pathetic. At least Dollars keeps you out of my room."

"Like I'd want to go in there."

On the rooftops above, Ryoga and Yoiko Hibiki were watching. "We have to leave, Big Brother," Yoiko said. "Kinma-kun only thinks of me as a friend or like a little sister, and he can't stand the sight of me when I'm a pig."

"Why do you keep fawning over that boy anyway?" Ryoga asked his sister. Especially after the way he jilted you."

"Hey! It was that father of his who arranged it with YOU!" Yoiko shouted. "Besides, it's nowhere near as pathetic as you licking the face of that girl Nabiki."

Ryoga's shoulders slumped. It _was_ pathetic the way he acted as Nabiki's loyal pet Dollars, but no girl had ever been so nice to him. The way she lavished affection on him and how she acted when no one else was looking made him happier than he'd ever been in his lonely miserable life. But Yoiko was right. He was only half-hearted about curing himself as long as he was in a country that didn't eat dogs. But he had to find a cure for Yoiko.

The two Hibikis leaped down from the top of the roof-only to be splashed by the ladle lady.

The dog and piglet shook free from their clothes and looked up at the sky angrily. Somewhere up in the sky was a spirit who really had it in for the Hibiki family.

"Here!" The cursed brother and sister looked and saw the Amazon twins crouching down with their hands outstretched. "Come here!"

'Dollars' and 'P-Chan' walked over to Shampoo and Conditioner, who patted them on the heads. "Good dog," Shampoo mused.

"Good pig," said Conditioner.

It was lunchtime at Furinkan High School. Because it was a beautiful day out, almost all the students decided to eat outside. And Kinma Saotome was making some very good business dealings.

"How much you want for these," Ranma's friend Daisuke asked as Kinma showed him some rather _risqué_ photos of Kodachi.

"Normally they're 15000 yen a set, but because you're my brother's friend I let them at 13000."

"Kinma Saotome." Kinma looked and saw Kuno in full kendo gear and brandishing his boken. "Not only do you take advantage of these peasants by selling them pictures of your cross-dressing brother, but now you sell ones of my sister as well!" He held up his wooden sword. "I Tatiwaki Kuno shall punish you!"

He rushed at Kinma, who immediately brought out his staff. A quick strike at the chest, a block of the boken, and a swipe at the legs brought Kuno down on his back.

"Say Kuno," Kinma said as he kneeled over the prostate kendoist, "how'd you like these?" He showed a series of photos Akane bathing. "Only 10000 yen."

"I'll never-," Kuno stammered, but his eyes were glued to the pictures.

"Add another 5000 and I'll throw in the videotape."

"Sold!"

"WHAT IS THIS!" Kinma looked and saw Akane glaring daggers at him. "You're spying on me in the bathtub and selling pictures and videotapes!" Now Akane's face was really red. Nabiki was right behind her sister, chuckling to herself.

_Oh boy, Kinma-baby's really in for it now!_

Suddenly a series of rumbles came from inside the building. The students in the courtyard looked and saw a wall shatter to show Shampoo come out, holding a big covered dinner plate. "There you are."

Conditioner was right behind her shaking her head. "Conditioner tell Shampoo to use door, but sister no listen."

Ranma came up beside his brother. "What are you two doing?"

Shampoo held the platter before the two brothers. "Wives make lunch for husbands." She removed the cover. "Cantonese cold black big with hibiscus sauce!"

Ranma and Kinma both looked at the plate in horror. For laying on top of a mound of vegetables and covered in sauce was a black piglet wearing a black-checkered yellow ribbon around its neck.

"P-chan!" Akane cried. She grabbed the little pig.

"Not girl lunch!" Shampoo grabbed P-Chan and placed her back on the platter. She took out a big knife. "Now to cut in half-,"

"No!" Kinma grabbed P-Chan and slapped her in the face. In his concern about Yoiko Kinma forgot all about his pig-phobia-until the pig opened her eyes, looked in his-, **"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"-**And Kinma fainted.

P-chan leaped into Akane's arms, who glared at the two Amazon sisters. Ranma stepped in between them. "Look Akane, the pigs all right, so just-,"

Akane punched Ranma and sent him soaring. "Get out of here!"

Shampoo walked over to Akane and kissed her on the cheek. "Sister now give violent girl kiss of death. Challenge to fight on other side of school." The green-haired girl then turned to Nabiki. "We also have violent girl sister's big dog. Unless act as second for violent girl, dog become dinner tonight." She quietly wet her lips. "Been long time since Conditioner have good roast dog."

"Very well." Akane said. "I accept your challenge!"

"Stupid Akane," Ranma muttered under his breath as he ran back towards Furinkan High. "I try to stop her from getting into a fight with Shampoo, and look what she does!"

He made it to courtyard, where the other students where gathered around Kinma who was just coming to. "Akane, Nabiki, those two Chinese girls-where are they?"

"They went out behind the shed." Daisuke said. "That blue haired girl challenged Akane to a fight."

"Oh no!" Ranma saw that Kinma was fully awake. "Akane's no match for a girl like Shampoo or Conditioner-and Nabiki's no fighter at all!"

The two brothers raced out to the school shed. Right behind it, lying on their backs, were the Tendo sisters. Dollars was sniffing at Nabiki, and P-Chan was atop of Akane, letting out a low moan.

Kinma quickly covered his eyes, and Ranma picked up the pig. After carefully cradling P-Chan in his arms, Ranma said, "Okay, now you can look."

Kinma uncovered his eyes. "Sheesh Akane, you shouldn't have taken Shampoo's challenge-she's way better than you are," Kinma said as he gently slapped Akane's face. "And you Nabiki, I'd have thought you knew better than to go alone with those two!"

Akane and Nabiki both opened their eyes. They sat up and looked at Kinma. "Escuse me, but do I know you?" Nabiki asked.

Akane looked at Ranma, who was holding P-Chan. "Do either of us know you two?"

End of Chapter Fourteen.

This was a pretty hard chapter to write. It's not easy to write with Nabiki jealous, because she has much better control over herself than Akane, and I wanted to keep her in character.

At the end of the next chapter, Nabiki's going to give Kinma the bill for the damage done to both the dojo and the school. He'll pay it, but in a way that makes _him_ money.

About giving Conditioner a curse: someone suggested I have her fall in the Spring of Drowned Flying Fox Bat. What do you other readers think of that idea?

And as for Mousse: Should I have him after Conditioner instead of Shampoo? After both sisters? Or give him a lesbian cousin after the green-haired girl who never listens when Conditioner yells, "No am that way! Conditioner like men!"


	15. Rinsing out the Amazons

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi and the property of VIZ entertainment. No money is being mad from their use in this work of Fanfiction-although I'm sure either Kinma or Nabiki could probably find a way.

Chapter Fifteen: Rinsing out the Amazons

Akane and Nabiki both opened their eyes. They sat up and looked at Kinma. "Excuse me, but do we know you?" Nabiki asked.

Akane looked over at Ranma, who was holding P-chan. "Do either of us know you two?"

Nabiki turned to her sister. "And what are we doing lying on the ground?"

"Let's see," Akane said as she rubbed her chin. "I was facing that Shampoo girl…."

_Akane balled her fists as Shampoo came at her. She swung, but the Chinese girl leaped up and somersaulted behind her…_

"Yeah, that's how I remember it too," said Nabiki, "and when she got on your back, I tried to help you, but next thing I knew, we were both lying on the ground." She ran a hand through her hair. "And somehow, I feel…refreshed!"

Akane nodded as she felt through her own hair. "Me too."

"You don't remember anything else?" Kinma asked.

Nabiki blinked as she looked at Kinma. "And do I know you?"

Kinma couldn't believe his ears. _They must have amnesia!_

"Hey, there they are!" The four looked and saw a group of girls, some Akane and Ranma's classmates, others Nabiki and Kinma's, coming up behind the shed.

"Akane!" one of the girls said, "We were so worried!"

"I'm all right!" Akane said cheerfully.

"Are you sure?" another one-Yunko, Kinma thought was her name-asked. "That Shampoo girl looked really tough!"

"She wasn't much!" Akane laughed.

"Are you kidding?" Ranma exclaimed. "You were flat on your back!"

"And who are you?"

"Akane, cut that out!" Kinma said. "This isn't funny!"

"And just who are YOU?" Nabiki asked.

"Huh?" Nabiki's friend Keiko went up to her. "That's Kinma!"

Nabiki looked at Keiko. "And who is Kinma?"

Kinma's ponytail almost curled up in shock. _She and Akane only forgot about Ranma and me?_

Nabiki scratched her head. "Wait a minute," she said, "I know! It's that company that sells Japanese TVs and other electronics in Southeast Asia!"

"That's-," Kinma started, then paused. "All right, that is Kinma. But it's also my name!"

Akane was looking at Ranma. "Your name's _Ranma?_ The hero of the Hindu epic?"

Ranma sighed. "That's Rama."

"A Cuban dance!"

"That's Rumba."

"A Chinese noodle dish!"

"That's Ramen!"

Kinma looked at Dollars. "I better have a word with the mangy mutt." He grabbed the dog by the muzzle, then with his staff in his other hand, pole-vaulted over the shed.

"Hey!" Nabiki cried, "Come back with my dog!" Then she blinked. _He pole-vaulted the shed with just one hand! And carrying Dollars with the other!_

Ranma handed P-chan to Akane. "I'll be joining them." He then leaped over the shed, following his brother.

Akane's jaw dropped. "He-he didn't even need a staff! He just jumped. Who are those two?"

"We've been telling you," Megumi said, "it's Kinma and his brother Ranma."

"Ranma? Kinma?" Akane and Nabiki looked at each other. "Who are they?"

Hot water splashed over Dollars, who changed back into Ryoga. He looked over at the two Saotome brothers, who were standing on the other side of the sports equipment locker.

"All right, mangy mutt," Kinma said, "tell us everything that happened."

Ryoga smirked. "You think I'd ever help Nabiki and her sister remember a couple of jerks like you two?"

"Well, you don't have to," Kinma said, "but if you don't, the videotapes from some cameras hidden in this room should be great for selling to the girls here."

Shock and embarrassment came over Ryoga's face. "I'll tell, I'll tell!"

"Pssst! Kinma!" Ranma whispered into his brother's ear, "When did you have cameras placed in here?"

"I didn't," Kinma whispered back, "but dog-boy here doesn't know it, so it makes a good bluff."

"We just got behind the shed," Ryoga began, "and I was tied up and muzzled. Akane and Shampoo faced each other…"

_Shampoo had just leaped behind Akane's back, her foot striking P-chan's snout. "Yoiko!" Dollars thought as he struggled against the ropes holding him._

_Conditioner struck Dollars on the head, then blocked a kick from Nabiki. "Don't you hit my dog!" Conditioner said nothing, but just leaped behind Nabiki. She pulled out a bottle of shampoo…_

"-and then she washed, combed, and dried her hair. All in less then a minute." Ryoga shivered. "Then Conditioner cut my ropes and warned that if I followed her and Shampoo, they'd cook me for supper."

"Are you saying some shampoo made Akane and Nabiki forget us?" Ranma asked. "How could that be? What kind of shampoo does that?"

"I have no idea, little bro," Kinma said, "but I think someone we both know just might."

Dr. Tofu examined first Akane, then Nabiki. "If I didn't know better," the young doctor mused, "I'd say this was the _Xi Fa Xiang Gao!_

"The Xi Fa-what the heck is that, Dr. Tofu?" Kinma asked.

"An old Chinese Shiatsu technique," Dr. Tofu said. "By using a special Chinese herbal shampoo and pressing certain points on the skull, a practitioner of this technique can selectively manipulate a person's memory!"

Kinma looked at Nabiki. "So that's why you two forgot us!"

Nabiki cocked her eyebrow. "Do we know either of you?"

"Is there any way to cure them?" Ranma asked Dr. Tofu.

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "Not unless we have the shampoo."

Ranma grabbed Akane's arm. "Then let's go!"

"Let me go, whoever you are!" Akane cried.

"Wait a minute, little bro." Kinma asked Dr. Tofu, "Do you have any of that stuff here."

The chiropractor shook his head. "No," he said, but then held up a book titled _Chinese Medicinal Tonics, "_but this book here has the directions for mixing it."

Suddenly Kasumi popped her head through the door. "Hello Dr. Tofu? I came to return the book I borrowed."

Suddenly the doctor's glasses fogged up. "Ka-Kasumi!" And his nervous hands began tearing up the book he was holding. "What a surprise for you to come here!"

Kinma shook his head. "Come on, little bro. We've got a couple of Chinese twins to find.

The Saotome brothers walked out the Door. Dollars and P-chan were waiting outside the office door with Genma-Panda. Kinma turned away his eyes from the pig while Ranma grabbed the dog.

Once they were outside, Kinma looked Dollars dead in the eye. "All right you mangy mutt. I don't like you and you don't like me. But if you don't sniff those two girls out for us, there's a butcher shop in the nearby Korean neighborhood that sells exotic meats, so..."

Dollars led Kinma and Ranma to a seedy looking pool hall in Tokyo's Chinatown. "Are you sure he isn't just sending us on a wild goose chase?" Ranma asked. "I mean, even with a dog's sense of smell, it'd be pretty hard to find those two, who could be anywhere in Tokyo."

"Possibly," Kinma said, "but it makes sense that Shampoo and Conditioner would be staying in a Chinese neighborhood, and they can't have much money, so they'd probably

be renting one of those rooms above the hall. We might as well check it out."

Inside the place, which was cleaner than the normal pool hall various patrons were either drinking or playing pool talking in Chinese, Japanese, or both languages at once.

At a table not far from the doorway were the Amazons in a game of pool with two rough looking Japanese men. "Look's like I win for the third time," one of the men said. "Now hand over the money."

Conditioner and Shampoo just stared at their opponents, their eyes wide. "Please, pretty please?" Conditioner asked in her most innocent voice. "Conditioner does better this time, no? Triple or nothing?"

"Yes, please?" Shampoo added. "Shampoo and sister do better, yes? Lose, become sex slaves?"

The two men looked at each other and grinned. "Why not?" the other man said, his mouth showing two missing teeth. "But you lose to us again, no more games. We hate to be taking advantage of two little girls."

Kinma smiled to himself as Conditioner racked up the balls, and made the beginning shot. He and Yoiko used similar methods when hustling out-of-towners and Gaijin in their old neighborhood. They had really cleaned up too; almost no one could take Yoiko seriously at pool-until she beat them.

And sure enough, Conditioner sunk every one of her opponents' balls before they even got a turn. "You-you hustled us!" the first man shouted. He raised his pool stick as if to strike, but his opponent tapped his shoulder. He looked around and saw all the joint's patrons staring at him. He and his partner were Japanese in a room full of Chinese-who would undoubtedly back up their countrywomen. Sighing, the two men took bills from their pockets, laid them down on the table and walked out the building.

Conditioner counted up the bills. "30,000 yen. Enough to last us another month here."

"Hi Conditioner." The green-haired girl looked up and saw Kinma coming up to her. "Airen!" she shouted as she glomped onto the ponytailed boy.

"Male Ranma!" By the stuttering, Kinma guessed Shampoo was grabbing for his brother as well.

"Please, Conditioner," Kinma said as he finally managed to get himself out of her grasp, "I'm just here for that shampoo!"

"Kinma mean this?" Conditioner held out the bottle in front of him. Kinma tried to grab it, but the Chinese girl immediately stuffed it in her bosom. "Try to grab and Conditioner scream."

"Heh. Easier than you think." Kinma grabbed a glass of water from a nearby table and splashed himself with it. Conditioner's jaw dropped as her _airen _disappeared from sight-then the bottle vanished her shirt.

"Ha ha, I've got it, little bro!" Kinma's voice called out. Suddenly Ranma disappeared as well, leaving two very shocked and stunned Chinese sisters standing there in the pool hall.

"Okay, good," Dr. Tofu said as he finished washing both Akane and Nabiki's hair, "this should do it."

Akane looked at Ranma for several seconds. "Ra-ranma?" she said.

"You remember me!" Ranma actually smiled. "That's great!"

"Why?" Akane smiled slyly. "Is it because you do like me after all?"

"No!" Red rushed to Ranma's cheeks. "It's just that-!"

"Save it for later, Ranma," Kinma said as he stepped in front of Nabiki. "Well?"

Nabiki blinked. "Do I know you?"

"Arghh!" Kinma roared. "I'm Kinma!"

Nabiki scratched her head. "You mean that American company that makes Star Wars action figure?"

"That's Kenner!"

"That English word for a motion picture theatre?"

"That's the cinema!"

"That immortal hero in the Highlander movies?"

"That's Conner!"

"Superman's Kryptonian name?"

"That's Kal-el!"

"A Latin punctuation mark used in western writing?'

"That's a comma!"

"That jerk whom I can only stand to look at after he's been splashed with water?"

"That's-!" suddenly Kinma stopped, and saw Nabiki smirk. "You were just playing with me!"

"But of course, Kinma-baby."

"Nihao!" Everyone in Dr. Tofu's office turned and saw Shampoo break through the wall, with Conditioner right behind her.

"Darling!" they both cried and made for their respective 'husbands', only to be blocked by Akane and Nabiki.

Nabiki shook her head. "I don't think so."

Conditioner frowned. "If remember, than obstacle again. And if obstacle-," she drew out her sword, "I kill!"

"Wait" Kinma shouted. "There's a better way to handle this."

Kinma checked the boiling water in the kettle. "Okay, that does it." He filled a glass with water from the sink, then splashed Ranma.

"Female Ranma!" the Amazon sisters shouted. "We ki-!"

"Hold it." Kinma then poured the hot water over Ranma-chan, making her male again. "As you can see, the girl you want to kill and my brother are the same person. And by the same magic," he splashed himself with the remaining water from the glass, "I become invisible."

Shampoo and Conditioner both looked at Ranma, then where Kinma had been standing. "If girl type Ranma and Boy type Ranma same person," Shampoo looked at her sister, "what we do?"

"I know." Conditioner turned and walked out the hole in Dr. Tofu's wall. Shampoo followed after her.

"Bie liao," they both said.

"Bie liao?" Ranma scratched his head. "What does that mean?"

"It means goodbye, little bro."

"Oh Kinma-baby?" Nabiki said just behind him.

"What is it?"

Nabiki held out a long sheet of paper. "It's a bill. To cover the costs of the damages done by those two to St. Heberke, Furinkan, our dojo, and now, to Dr. Tofu's office. And since those two caused all that damage while chasing after you or Ranma, it makes YOU responsible for fixing it."

Nabiki was pleased with herself as she was walking Dollars. She'd made a careful survey of the costs of materials and labor, and whatever scheme Kinma came up with couldn't possibly raise enough without seriously digging into whatever nest egg he had.

_I've really bested him this time._

She just rounded the corner to her home when she suddenly saw a whole bunch of guys aged about 15 to 40, lined up to the gateway in front of her home.

Kinma's two flunkies Kiroshi and Genosho came up to her. "Can you tell me what is going on?" she asked them.

"Oh," Kiroshi said. "Come with us."

They went up to the gate and Nabiki's eyes went wide. Working on the house and dojo was large throng of busty and sensual naked women, with a film crew capturing the whole thing on camera.

Nabiki saw her father talking to one of the cameramen. She went up to him and cried out, "WHAT is going on here, Daddy?"

"Oh Nabiki, isn't it wonderful?" Soun was crying tears of joy. "I had no idea how I would pay have our house fixed when all of a sudden this afternoon I received a call from Penthouse. They're doing a series of home carpentry videos and they're paying US 500,000 yen to use our home as a site!"

"They're also shooting at our school, St. Heberke, and Dr. Tofu's office." Kiroshi said. "And Kinma's right there at the front of the line, taking admissions to watch the shooting."

Nabiki fell in a dead faint.

End of Chapter Fifteen

Okay, I knew I couldn't have the memories restored quite the same way because Kinma IS smarter than Ranma and he just wouldn't have handled it that way. It's probably not as funny as the manga storyline, but I hope you enjoyed it.

Okay, if you read this chapter, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send in a review. I only received one for the last chapter, and I want to know what my readers think!

And please include answers to the questions I asked in the last chapter. I really want input from you guys!

Okay the Neko-Ken Story is up next. And something happens to Kinma when his fear of pigs peaks, but it's not the same as with Ranma and the Neko-Ken. Let's just say that when he's in that state, don't be near anything that looks like a pig, wear a shirt with a picture of a pig, or even say the word pig. Trust me. You'll see.

And do you want to see Sasuke or Hikaru Gosenkugi?


	16. Of Cats, Bats, Pigs, and Martial Arts

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz. Entertainment. No money is being made from there use in this work of Fanfiction. I do own Kinma and any of the new characters here-but unfortunately I can't make any money off of them either.

Chapter 16: Of Cats, Bats, Pigs and Martial Arts.

Students from Furinkan were gathered around around the school Rugby field. Most were either from the kendo or kyudo clubs, for their respective captains would be having a fight today.

Kinma Saotome, recently named captain of the Kyudo club, sighed as he faced Tatiwaki Kuno. "So, you wanted to challenge me, Kuno?"

Kuno raised his boken in mock-salute. "Kinma Saotome, you have made yourself quite a fortune selling to these peasants those pictures of Akane Tendo, your cross dressing brother Ranma, and MY SISTER!"

Kinma cocked an eyebrow over his glasses. "Oh, most of those Akane pictures I sold to YOU. That pigtailed redhead has a 100 female body." _Of course it's my little bro under a curse, but no need to tell _that."And as for you sister, Kodachi doesn't seem to mind my selling pictures of her."

Kuno snarled. "You have sold your last, Saotome. For today, I Tatiwaki Kuno shall punish you!" Kinma immediately whipped out his bow and with quick aim knocked Kuno's boken out of his hands. "Wretch!" Kuno yelled. "You mock the art of the noble samurai with a coward's weapon!"

"Kuno, the samurai were mainly archers. Swordsmanship was just their second art." Kinma threw down the bow and drew out his staff. "But if it's hand to hand you want…"

Kuno picked up his boken and rushed at Kinma, who immediately blocked the wooden blade, then hit Kuno's solar plexus with the butt end. Staggering, Kuno tried to raise his boken, but Kinma brought his staff across the back of the kendoist neck, making him fall flat on his face. "Of course, a staff in the hands of someone who know how to use one is a much more versatile weapon than any sword." He then knelt down and rolled his opponent over. "I've got these new pictures of Akane, right in the girl's locker room if you're interested."

"Sold!"

Kinma left the field with his teammates from the Kyudo club. Kuno's teammate's also left, leaving their captain alone on the field with his photos.

Kuno went through them, eyes wide with desire. "Oh Akane Tendo," he drooled, "how ravishing, how athletic. What travesty your family engaged you to the wretch of a half man who dresses like a woman!"

"New pictures, master?" Kuno looked over his shoulder and saw Sasuke Kakari, his family ninja servant behind him.

"Do you mind, Sasuke? This visage here is not for servants like you to gaze upon."

"My most humble apologies, master Kuno. But perhaps I can help you to separate the fair maiden from the wretch Saotome."

Now Kuno turned and faced his servant "How?"

Sasuke's face turned evil. "Every man, no matter how strong or brave he may be, has a weak spot-something so deadly to that person that he loses all his bravado and can no longer hold up to his opponents. Strike there and you have him!"

"You think that I, the noble Kuno, would strike secretly at an opponent's weak spot!" Kuno shouted. "What kind of man do you think I am?"

"Oh." Sasuke turned to leave, then suddenly felt his master's hand on his shoulder.

"And-?"

"And what, master?"

"What is Ranma Saotome's weak spot?" Kuno demanded

"But I though you said-?"

"Fool! There is no disgrace in striking OPENLY at an opponent's weak spot! So what is it?"

Now Sasuke rolled up his eyes in thought. "Um, err, I don't know."

Kuno picked up the ninja and punted him across the sky. "THEN GO AND FIND OUT!"

Kasumi took the package from the deliveryman. "From China, you say?" she asked.

The deliveryman nodded. "Sign here, please."

After signing the order form, Kasumi brought the package into the family room. Her sisters were sitting at the table; Nabiki was helping Akane with her math homework.

Nabiki noticed the package in her older sister's hands. "Is that for me?" she asked.

"No," Kasumi said, "it's for Ranma. From Shampoo in China."

"From Shampoo?" Akane asked.

"Not the Amazon of destruction." Nabiki rolled her eyes.

The package stirred in Kasumi's hands. "It-it's moving!" Suddenly the box ripped open; a white cat with purple ears, legs, and tail leaped out and landed on top of the water heater. "Why, it's so cute!" The cat leaped off the television and into Kasumi's arms.

Akane got up from the table. "Aw, let me hold it-yah!" She leaped back as the cat hissed and swiped its clawed paw at her.

"It doesn't like Akane." Nabiki said dryly. "That means it must be from Shampoo."

The sliding door suddenly slid shut. "Geez, I never thought I'd get away from that thing!" Kinma's voice said.

"Kinma!" Kasumi exclaimed. "You startled me."

"Oh, sorry." Kinma's voice said.

"What's the matter Kinma-baby? Saw someone walking a pot-bellied pig on a leash, did you?"

"No. I was walking home from school when all of a sudden this really big bat comes out of nowhere and starts chasing after me for some reason. I splashed myself, but it could tell where I was even like this!"

"Oh, that must be echolocation," Kasumi said. The others all looked at her and she went on, "I saw a documentary about it the other night. Bats have an uncanny ability to navigate their way through dark places like caves by giving high shrieks and hearing them bounce back off of solid objects. That's how it can locate you, even when you are invisible."

"Yeah, but why was it after me in the first place?" Kinma asked.

"I don't care," said Nabiki, shivering a little as she spoke, "Just make sure it doesn't come in he-Yah!" Through the open family room window, the largest bat the three Tendo sister had ever seen flew straight for where Kinma's voice had spoken.

"Get away from me, you flying rodent!" Suddenly the bat-which had large green ears and green edges around it's wings-flew at Nabiki instead.

"Yaaah!" Nabiki screamed as she ran for the closet and closed the door. Suddenly the bat disappeared, and a tied up leather sack showed up in the table.

"Don't worry Nabiki, I've got it tied up in sack," Kinma said.

"I don't care, just get it out of here!"

Sighing, Kinma picked up the sack and threw it out the window as hard as he could. "What's with her?" Kinma asked Kasumi, who'd just gotten a kettle full of hot water.

"Nabiki just has this thing about bats," Kasumi said as Kinma took the kettle and poured the hot water on himself.

"Oh." Kinma looked and saw the cat cradled in Kasumi's arm. "Ah, where did that cat come from?"

"It came in the mail. It's from Shampoo in China."

"Is the thing gone?" Nabiki said from the closet.

"Yes you can come out now," Kinma said, and then looked at Kasumi. "Speaking of phobias, you'd better get rid of that cat before Ranma and Pop get back from their training exercise or…

"That was the stupidest idea for training you ever had, old man!" Ranma called out from the hall. The younger Saotome boy came into the family room, still shouting at his father. "Why of all the dumb-eeeeyyyyaaaaagh!" The cat had jumped out of Kasumi's arm and onto Ranma, who suddenly looked down, and fainted.

Kinma shook his head as he looked at the floor. "Too late."

"Ailurophobia?" Akane asked. She was holding P-chan, careful that Kinma didn't see the little piglet. Her sisters and father were sitting with her at the dining table while Ranma was just lying there shivering while the cat purred on his stomach.

Genma Saotome wept as he nodded. "My sons are such cowards! Being afraid of harmless animals like cats and pigs!"

"You're the one who did it to us, you stupid old man!" Kinma shouted.

Genma said nothing but simply grabbed P-chan by her ribbon and held her in front of Kinma's face. "You're still blaming me for falling into that pigsty when you were three?"

"No, only for repeatedly throwing me into one afterward! That only made it worse!" Kinma closed his eyes and took P-chan by the ribbon. _It's only Yoiko, its onlyYoiko, it'sonlyYoiko,_ he kept repeating to himself as he hand the pig back to Akane. "I would have thought it would have taught you better than to try the Neko-Ken on Ranma, but nooooo."

"Neko-Ken?" Akane said. "Cat-Fist?"

Genma nodded, and tossed a small booklet on the table. Soun picked it up. "Anything-Goes Martial-Arts training techniques."

"Turn to page 84." Genma said.

Soun opened the booklet and turned the pages. "Here it is. The Neko Ken. Tie a very young person, no more than ten years old, in fish sausages and-throw him into a room full of starving cats!"

"Kinma was already well past the recommended age, and considering his fragile psyche-,"

"Like I'd ever let you do that to me, Pop." Kinma muttered.

"-I made sure he'd be gone when I tried it on Ranma. But it contained a terrible trick. Turn the page, Tendo, and find out!"

Soun turned the page and read, "This is a very stupid and dangerous thing to do. Anyone who would even _think_ about actually teaching this should be immediately put in a strait jacket and placed in a certain insane asylum in the American town of Gotham City."

"Sounds like whoever wrote that was thinking of you, Pop." Kinma. "It was a good thing I finished up my stint at the fight club early that night and came home when I did!"

Kasumi got up and went to the sliding door. "Maybe if Ranma got used to cats, he wouldn't be so afraid of them." She slid it open and there were several stray cats right outside.

Kinma quickly got up and slammed the door shut before any could get in. Turning to face her, he said, "Look Kasumi, you better not let all those cats in the same room with Ranma. Trust me on this."

Unknown to anybody in the Tendo household, someone was listening underneath. Quickly that person crawled out from under the house and leapt of into the not. What he'd just heard, his master would be most pleased to learn.

ZOCK! Kinma split his fifth arrow in ten seconds. Seiji Osaka, the Furinkan Kyudo coach, shook his head in amazement. "Never in over twenty years of coaching archers have I ever seen anyone so fast and accurate. You could probably coach this club better than me."

"Nah coach. It'd be too boring for me." Kinma turned to hang up his bow when all of a sudden he saw his brother, Akane, and Nabiki come up to the archery range. "What is it little bro?"

"I found this note in my locker." Ranma handed Kinma a piece of paper.

Kinma quickly read the note. "Ranma, Kinma!" it read, "It's me Akane. Nabiki and I have been kidnapped and are being held up cruel villains in the school gymnasium! Please come save us!"

He then looked at the two Tendo sisters. "And what are you two doing here then?"

Nabiki grabbed the note from Kinma. "We want to know who wrote this, Kinma baby, and see what kind of joke they're playing."

The Saotome brothers and Tendo sisters walked into the school gym. Up on the stage were what looked like two girls dressed in Furinkan high school girls' uniforms. One of the was shouting in a very high squeaky voice, "Oh help us Ranma, Kinma! It's me Akane! Please come save us!"

Kinma adjusted his glasses and looked again. "Who is that, little bro?"

Ranma shook his head. "I have no idea, Kinma."

The four got up onto the stage and saw that 'Akane' was really a short squat bucktoothed man, while 'Nabiki' was simply a manikin. "Oh help, save me, Ranma, Kinma. Save us oh please!"

Akane grabbed the man by the collar of the dress. "Just who do you think you are!"

The man got free from Akane's grasp. "I am but a loyal ninja sworn to the noble house of Kuno, Sasuke Kakari!" He pulled of his wig and smiled evilly at the two brothers. "I have you now, Kinma and Ranma!"

The ninja yanked a rope hanging next to him. Nabiki and Akane shrieked as a trapdoor opened underneath them and they fell to the chamber underneath. "Uh, that wasn't supposed to happen."

Kinma. Peered at Sasuke through his glasses. "You meant that for us, didn't you?"

Sasuke grinned again. "Fortunately, I always have a back up plan!" He yanked on another chain. A giant statue of a tanuki fell to the floor, knocking Sasuke into the chamber with the Tendo sisters.

Kinma and Ranma leaped down into the chamber and looked at the ninja pinned under the tanuki statue. "Isn't that painful?" Ranma asked.

"Here," Sasuke handed something to Ranma, "I want you to have this."

Ranma looked at the object in his hands. "Fish sausage?" Suddenly Ranma, Kinma, Akane, and Nabiki became aware of a thousand pairs of yellow, slit-pupiled eyes staring at them…

Genma Saotome sat at the Tendo porch staring at the koi pond. A speckled koi lept out of the water, shimmered for a moment, then fell back in.

Kasumi came out with the afternoon tea. Genma took the tea and thanked her.

Kasumi sat down beside him and drank her own tea. Finally she broke the silence. "Mr. Saotome, could Ranma's fear of cats ever be cured?"

Genma sighed. "Believe me I tried everything. Once, when Kinma was at a poker game I tried the pit again using dried sardines. The other time Kinma was out hustling pool, I used fish cakes. And that time when Kinma was collecting from people who owed him I used canned cat food!"

"My," Kasumi said, how clever of you to have thought of those things."

"And each failure," Genma, "only led to a new tragedy!"

"Heh heh heh heh," laughed Sasuke. "I know your weakness Ranma. Scream! Scream and let it all out!"

"You forgot something," Kinma said as he grabbed Sasuke by the collar. "THIS Saotome isn't afraid of cats!"

Sasuke only smiled. "I've taken care of that too!" He pulled a small black box from his pocket. The door leading to the chamber exit opened, and in came pouring a hundred little-

"PPPPIIIIIIGGGGSSSS!"

"You mean there's more?" Kasumi asked.

Genma nodded. "When Ranma's fear of cats comes to a peak-he meows."

"Meows?"

"Yes." Now Genma turned away from Kasumi. "And then there's what happens to Kinma when he can't escape his fear of pigs…"

Tatiwaki Kuno chuckled to himself as he walked into the gymnasium. A basketball game was going on, but Kuno ignored the players as he headed for the stage. When Sasuke told of his plan, he went right along with it. Oh, it was brilliant!

"Oh yes, you wretched brothers. My sister will lose her fascination with you when she sees what a coward you truly are, Kinma Saotome. And as for Ranma-Akane will be mine! Ha ha hahahahaha!"

A small rumble went through the gym. "What?" one of the basketball players said.

Another player pointed at the stage. "Look! It's coming from over there!"

All of a sudden, the stage exploded, sending forth a geyser of-

"Cats?"

"And pigs?"

The little animals ran towards the doors as if fleeing for their very lives. Out of the hole in the stage leaped-

"Ranma Saotome!" Kuno yelled. He raised his boken. "En garde!" Ranma lept at Kuno, and before the kendoist could move, shredded his boken down to the handle. Kuno stared at his ruined weapon, then at the snarling, hissing Ranma.

Suddenly he saw an open window just above him. "Fetch!" he said and threw the stick through the window. Ranma leaped after it.

"Yes, Saotome, Kuno laughed. "Run. Run like the coward you are, you cross-dressing pigtailed-."

"PIG!" Kuno was knocked down to the floor, and then hit again and again with a Bo staff. "PIG! PIG! PIG!"

Groggily Kinma looked up and saw Kinma Saotome running for the door. "PIG, PIG, PIG!" he was shouting.

Three students from Furinkan had just gotten out of detention. "Man, I can't believe how pig-headed Mr. Moshashi is," one of them said.

"Yeah," said another. "And my homework really did get eaten by my sister's little pet pot-bellied pig."

"You want to come to my house for dinner tonight guys," asked the third. "It's a kosher meal she's cooking-nothing with a pig in it."

All three of them then got beaten to the ground by a staff in the hands of a ponytailed bespectacled berserker shouting, "PIG!"

Akane and a bunch of other students gathered around the tree overhanging the shed behind the school. In the tree, perched on the lowest branch, was Ranma, licking his hands and scratching the back with his left foot like a contented tomcat. "Mrowour,"

he purred.

"Ranma!" Akane shouted, "come down and cut it out. This is embarrassing!"

"It is as I feared." Akane looked behind and saw Genma, and her father standing next to her.

"Dad! Mr. Saotome! Do you have any idea what's happened?"

Genma shook his head. "When Ranma's fear of cats reaches it's highest," he said, "the only way he can escape is by becoming a cat himself. Where's Kinma?"

"Mr. Saotome! Akane! Dad!" The three saw Nabiki running up to them. "Something weird has happened to Kinma. He's going around attacking people and shouting-!"

"Don't say it!" Genma clamped a hand over Nabiki's mouth, and then shook his head "Kinma always was able to snap his brother out of this. But when he can't escape HIS fear, he goes into a berserker rage where he attacks anything that looks like the object of his fear or anyone who says the word-."

"PIG!" Kinma's staff knocked against his father's face. "PIG! PIG! PIG!" he screamed as he continued beating the stuffing out of Genma.

"But Saotome didn't say the word-," Soun began.

Nabiki rolled up her eyes. "Somehow though, it seems appropriate."

Kinma turned his head at the sound of Nabiki's voice. "Calm down, Kinma-baby," Nabiki said in her most calming voice. "You can relax now. There aren't any more of those nasty little pigs to hurt you."

Kinma looked from left to right, then straight at Nabiki. The wildness in his eyes seemed to cool a little. "No more-pig?"

Nabiki nodded. "That's right. None of those things are around right now. Just calm down, and everything will be all right."

Kinma dropped his staff. "No-more-pig." Suddenly he leaned to Nabiki, and unexpectedly planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"How dare you!" Nabiki slapped Kinma firmly in the face and looked at her father and sister. "If you need me, I'll be heading home now."

"Well, that takes care of Kinma," Akane said, then looked up at the tree where Ranma was. "But what do we do about Ranma?"

Soun picked up a bundle Genma had been carrying and looked inside. "Catnip!" he said. "If we could get Ranma to eat some, maybe he'll calm down and snap out of it!"

"That's a good idea, but how are we going to get it to him?"

Soun scratched his head. "I haven't thought of that yet."

"Oh great, some help you are." Akane spied one of Kinma's teammates from the Kyudo club who still carried his bow and arrows. "Here, let me have those.

Akane tied the bundle of catnip to the end of an extra-long arrow. Taking careful aim, she released the string and sent the arrow straight at Ranma.

Sniffing, Ranma smelled the catnip. He leaped at the bundle and shredded it, the catnip driving his-cat-mind out of its senses. The crowd below all screamed and ran except for Akane. Ranma landed, then leaped at his fiancé-

-and landed straight on her lap.

"Whew!" one of the boys cried. "She did it!"

All the girls clapped. "Amazing, Akane!" her friend Yuko shouted. "I guess he know's his fiancé!"

"Huh? But I didn't do any-," Akane stuttered, then felt Ranma rubb his head against her body. "Cut it out Ranma! You're embarrassing me!"

Ranma raised his head against her body, leaned back his head-

-and then kissed Akane squarely on her lips.

"They kissed!" Yuko cried.

Ranma's friend Hiroshi was equally surprised. "He actually kissed Akane."

Akane's face first turned red from embarrassment, then anger as she looked down at Ranma. "You, you, pervert!" she screamed as she sent Ranma flying off over the shed.

Yuko whispered to her friend Sayori, "Was that their first kiss?"

Sayori shook her head. "It can't be. They're engageged." They watched as Akane stormed off away from the schoolyard.

Right inside the shed, a purple and white cat sat watching the whole scene. Next to her, its leathery wings folded up was green eared orange-brown bat. The two animals looked at each other and nodded. Soon, the would make their move.

End of chapter sixteen.

Okay, Nabiki's bat-phobia is nothing more than a simple fear of bats. Just thought I'd make that clear right now. But it should make things interesting, especially if you can figure out who the bat is.

Cologne's coming up next. And to try to get him to marry Conditioner, she does something that lock Kinma in his cursed state-although not the Full-Body Cat Tongue. Kinma likes being able to turn invisible. But will he like it if he can't change back?


	17. Enter The Old Ghoul

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz entertainment. I'm not making any money so if anyone's thinking about suing me just forget it. I can't afford a lawyer anyway.

Chapter 17: Here Comes the Crone

"KINMA SAOTOME! Prepare to die!" Kinma grunted as he brought his staff up to block Ryoga's umbrella; the lost boy had attacked him unexpectedly. "You did something to Nabiki, didn't you!"

"I didn't do anything, dog-boy!" _Geez, this guy is _strong Kinma thought to himself; it was all he could do to hold off his blows. _If I hadn't sparred with Ranma all those years, I couldn't hold him off at all!_

"Don't lie to me! I know you did something horrible to Nabiki! She came into her room cursing your name! Now you will pay!" Ryoga's umbrella hit Kinma's staff again, and then all of a sudden Ryoga got hit in the face with a stream of water.

"Well, you mangy mutt," Kinma said as he looked down at Dollars, his left hand holding a water pistol, "now will you listen to reason?"

Dollars snarled and made as if to leap at Kinma, then stopped. The big wolf dog sniffed, then suddenly ran off.

"Hey wait a minute!" Kinma chased after the dog, which just turned around the street corner. Kinma reached the corner, and saw Dollars whimpering in front of Nabiki.

Nabiki looked at Kinma, who suddenly wished he didn't have his staff out. Nabiki's eyes traveled to his staff, then back to Kinma. "Very impressive, Kinma-baby. First you kiss me in front of the whole school, and now you beat my dog?"

"Ki-kiss you?" Kinma stammered.

"Yes, don't you remember? You were coming out that pig-crazed rage of yours and you kissed me. Right in front of everyone."

Kinma's mind raced back. "I-I can't." he finally said. "When I'm like that I'm kind of blank, and while I'm coming out I'm kind of delirious, and-,"

"Oh I see." Nabiki placed her hands behind her back. "So wasn't just me. You would have kissed anyone, is that it?"

"Uh, no, I can't-,"

"In that case," Nabiki's face hardened and she splashed Kinma with a thermos full of cold water she kept in her back pocket, "I don't want to look at you!"

EEEEGH! EEEGH! EEEEGH! Nabiki looked up and saw the biggest green-eared brown furred bat, baring a mouth full of fangs, swooping down at her. "Yaaaagh!" she cried as she ran off, Dollars right behind her. The big dog leaped up and snapped at the bat, but the flying mammal stayed just out of reach of his jaws.

"Stupid Akane!" Ranma-chan muttered under her breath. She woke up female just after

landing in the school swimming pool. As soon as she could, she made herself male again and learned what happened. Ranma found Akane in the dojo and tried to explain, but as usual the Tomboy didn't listen. She splash Ranma-kun with a bucket of water, making him Ranma chan again and kicked her through the dojo roof.

She'd just removed her clothes and stepped into the bathroom when she saw Kinma was already in the tub. "Next time you come in like that, little bro, you could knock."

"Oh, shut up Kinma." Ranma stepped into the tub, instantly becoming male again. "I had some trouble with the Tomboy."

"Yeah, I can relate." Kinma told his brother about his argument with Nabiki. "And just after the bat chases the stick-girl and mangy mutt, it comes back to pester me."

EEEEGH! EEEEGH! EEEEEGH! Ranma and Kinma looked up at the bathroom window. "There it is again!" Kinma muttered. "What is it with that thing?"

The door to the bathroom opened slightly and the cat Shampoo sent from China came in. "Quick little bro, cover your eyes!"

The cat leaped over the tub and onto the windowsill. With one paw, it opened the window and the bat flew into the room.

"Why did that cat-?" All of sudden the cat leaped and the bat flew down into the tub with the two brothers.

"Are you taking P-chan into the bath with you?" Nabiki asked.

"Yes," Akane said, cradling the little piglet in her arms. "If she's in the tub with me, there's no way Invisible-boy can sneak up in there-he'd too scare-what?" P-chan squirmed in Akane's arms, trying to escape. "What's the matter girl? Why are you so frightened? Holding the little pig in a tight grip, Akane open the bathroom door-

-and saw Ranma and Kina already in the tub, with Shampoo and Conditioner both naked and holding them in a tight embrace.

"How are we going to explain it to them?" Ranma asked his brother the next day. "I mean, it wasn't our fault those two were in the tub with us!"

Kinma thought for several minutes. "I'll have to talk to Nabiki. She may be stubborn, but she's a lot more rational than that tornado Pop betrothed you to. She'll probably listen."

Kinma found his fiancée in front of the dojo raking leaves into a pile. "Uh, Nabiki," Kinma said, not sure exactly what to say.

"What is it, Kinma-baby?" asked Nabiki.

"About last night," Kinma said, "there's no need for you or Akane to be jealous-."

"Jealous?" Nabiki chuckled as she raised her voice a couple of octaves. "Why would _I_ be jealous just because you and Ranma were in OUR bathtub with SHAMPOO and CONDITIONER?"

"You take a dip in the tub with those two girls and then try to explain yourselves!" Kinma heard Akane's voice scream right behind him-before he got booted into the air.

"Man oh man does she have a short fuse," Kinma thought as he soared over Tokyo. "How Ranma manages to put up with her I'll never know."

As he was about to land, Kinma whipped out his staff. He struck the ground, then flipped back and landed on his feet.

"Well, well, well." Kinma turned around and saw a withered old dwarf of a woman balancing on the end of a gnarled old staff right behind him. "You're not bad-son in law," she said, her Japanese carrying a slight Chinese accent. She suddenly turned and using her staff almost like a pogo stick, leaped up and bounded away. "We'll meet again!"

"WHAT!" Kinma shouted. He'd just made his way back to the Tendo dojo, and all of a sudden found the Amazon Twins sitting in the family room with his father, brother, and the Tendos seated around the table. "They moved over here?"

Ranma nodded. "They opened up a ramen shop and pool hall only a block around the corner."

Conditioner held up a bowl of ramen in front of Kinma. "Kinma eat this one, okay?"

Nabiki took the bowl in front of her and placed it on the floor. "You can have this, Dollars," she told the dog. "I just lost my appetite."

"Me too." Akane followed her sister.

The big dog lapped up the bowl of ramen, when all of a sudden a leathery wrinkled face appeared at Akane's seat. "I'll eat it!"

Kinma blinked. "It's that old ghoul from before!"

Conditioner giggled. "She Shampoo and Conditioner great grandmother Cologne!"

The old crone slurped up the ramen noodles, then eyed the two brothers. "Shampoo and Conditioner told me everything, sons-in-law. You'll both make valuable additions to our tribe."

Soun set down his bowl and stared at the old woman. "Now listen here! Kinma and Ranma are to marry my daughters and that is final."

The crone glared back at Soun. "Those two defeated my great-granddaughters in combat, meaning now the girls have to marry them. So says our laws."

"Now wait a minute!" Kinma said. "I didn't agree to marry anybody, and neither did Ranma!"

Shampoo and her sister suddenly stood up and looked at Ranma and Kinma. "You, Ranma, Kinma," they said in unison, "come with us."

The twins led the two brothers to the bathroom. Facing Kinma and Ranma they quickly took off their clothes.

"If you two girls think you can-," Kinma said, then stopped when Conditioner grabbed the showerhead.

"You two," she said to them, "what you do about this body?" She sprayed her sister, who immediately turned into a cat. Neko-Shampoo leaped at Ranma, who fainted. "Or this?" Conditioner turned the showerhead on herself, and five seconds later a large green-eared bat was hovering over her clothes.

Ranma awoke to his brother slapping his face. "Huh?" he asked.

"Relax Ranma, they're normal now."

"Yes!" Ranma looked and saw a naked Shampoo and Conditioner sitting in the tub full of water. Conditioner continued, "After we leave, me and sister go back to China…"

Cologne faced her two great-granddaughters on top of the poles over Jusenkyo. "So, you two dare to return after failing to kill the one called Ranma? I see I must train you both all over again."

_As the old woman fought with the two young girls, the Guide sat on the bank, smoking his pipe. "So many people come to Jusenkyo this time of year," he said to his companion, a middle-aged man who anxiously watched as his grandmother fought with his two daughters. "Why do you think that is?"_

_Suddenly Shampoo screamed as she was knocked off her pole. "My daughter!" man cried as she fell into the spring below. _

"_That Spring of Drowned Cat!" the Guide cried out. "Very tragic story about cat that drown in spring over 1400 year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of cat. Very cursed spring!" _

_Now Conditioner screamed as she fell into a different spring. "Not Spring of Drowned Flying Fox Bat!" the Guide exclaimed again. "Very tragic story about flying fox bat that drown in spring 1300 year ago. Whoever fall in spring become like unfortunate bat!" _

_A purple and white cat crawled out the spring Shampoo had fallen into, and a big green-eared bat flew out of the other spring. Both went over to the man, who took them in his arms and wept. "My daughters."_

_The Guide lowered his head and slowly shook it. "Such tragic waste of two beautiful young girls."_

"Now you know story," Conditioner finished. "Is your faults. You both pay!"

"Hey!" Ranma cried, "Why are you blaming us?"

"Yeah," Kinma said. "We didn't hold guns to your heads and force you to go to Jusenkyo!"

"You would make a good lawyer." The two brothers's looked and saw the old woman behind them. "Nevertheless, I hold you both responsible."

"Hey, I'm not marrying anybody!" Kinma shouted.

"Me neither!" added Ranma. They both leaped at Cologne, who jumped out the bathroom window.

As quick as they could, the two brothers ran out of the house and found Cologne still waiting outside the bathroom. "What took you so long?" the old hag cackled.

"OK, Ranma, you take her on the left, I'll take her on the right," Kinma whispered to his brother.

But the old woman proved surprisingly quick for someone as ancient as her. She blocked Kinma's staff with her own, then sent Ranma railing back with a jab to the stomach. She jabbed the end of her staff at Kinma again, and before he could block, the older brother felt a prick to his shoulder.

Cologne pole-vaulted up onto the Tendo gateway. "In three days time," she chuckled, "you'll both be begging to marry my great-granddaughters." Before she finished, she splashed a glass of water on Kinma, and then bounded away cackling.

"Why'd she make you invisible?" Ranma asked.

"Who knows? C'mon, I might as well get normal."

Ranma and Kinma walked back to the bathroom and found Shampoo and Conditioner gone. "They must have left while we were fighting the old ghoul." Kinma said. He took off his clothes and stepped into the furo. "Ah, still nice and hot."

Ranma stared at the tub. "Ah, Kinma-."

"AAAAGGGGGHHH!"

The entire Tendo household came running to the bathroom. "What is the matter?" Kasumi asked.

"I, I'm sitting here, in a tub full of hot water," Kinma's voice said from the tub, "and I'm still invisible!"

"But of course!" Everyone looked and saw Cologne standing in the bathroom window. "That prick you felt was a syringe hidden in my staff, filled with Monocaine-the very drug the late British Dr. Jack Griffin discovered could make a man invisible." Now she looked down at the tub. "You like being able to turn invisible, sonny-boy. But how well will you like it when you can't change back!" Now she looked at Ranma. "And you. If you care anything about you're brother, You'll agree to marry Shampoo. If not, well, I know a way to make you a girl permanently. HA HA HA HA!"

End of chapter seventeen.

Yeah, I know. This is another rehash of the canon storyline. Don't worry, you'll see real divergence in the next chapter.

What Cologne injected Kinma with is a reference to the 1942 classic movie _The Invisible Man_ starring Claude Rains. And even though he's now invisible in both forms, there will be one major difference when Kinma splashes himself with hot water. Try to figure out what it is.

Okay, how would you like to see Conditioner use her bat-form to frighten Nabiki again?

And which is a better name for Mousse's cousin: Lipstick or Laurial?


	18. Invisible Man Battles with the Ghoul

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Entertainment. I 'm not making any money off of their use here-and if you thought I was you should be in the insane asylum with the entire Adam Sandler Fan Club.

Chapter 18: The Invisible Man Battles Wits With The Old Ghoul

"I can't believe it," Dr. Tofu said as he felt Kinma's body. He lifted his hand-and became visible again. "Did you splash cold water on yourself before you got dressed?"

"Yeah, I kind off figured I might as well rinse the soap off of me. Why you ask?"

Dr. Tofu lifted a teakettle full of hot water, and poured it over Kinma. "Hey, I'm-!" he began, and then stopped. "No. It's just my clothes."

"Hey, how come he's invisible, but his clothes aren't?" Ranma asked.

Dr. Tofu smiled. "It's the Jusenkyo curse that makes whatever he touches invisible with him. This monocaine drug works differently-it only makes the person who takes it invisible. I've read about Dr. Griffin and how he made himself invisible with that drug. He had to be naked to be completely inconspicuous, and wrapped his head with bandages whenever he dressed to go out."

"Yeah I can see why," Kinma said. "It's annoying being invisible in a crowded place, and trying to cross a busy street's a nightmare. Even trying to sleep is hard with transparent eyelids. I'm just glad I only have to shave twice a month." He sighed. "This should help a little. But is there anyway you can cure me?"

"I'll have to do more research," the young doctor said, "but there's something else I need to tell-."

Suddenly the telephone rang. "Excuse me for a moment." He picked up the phone. "Hello, Dr Tofu speaking"

"Hello Dr. Tofu, it's Kasumi."

Suddenly Dr. Tofu's glasses fogged up. "Ka-Kasumi?"

"C'mon Kinma, let's go," Ranma grabbed his brother's sleeve.

"Ah, little bro, didn't he say-?"

"It's probably not that important, and you know how he is when he's talking to Kasumi. He'll be able to tell you later."

Kinma grabbed a trench coat and a broad fedora hat. "Well, this will help me a little," he said as he put them on, "but until we find a cure I can't go to school or do anything except take pictures or spy for blackmail. I'll have to work through Kiroshi and Genosho."

They just stepped outside the door when Nabiki ran past them screaming "YYYAAAGGGHHHHH!" As if on instinct she rushed behind Kinma and stood shivering. The two brothers looked and sure enough, a big green-eared bat swooped down at them.

Following the bat was Shampoo on a bicycle. "Ranma! Kinma!" she said as she stopped her bike and Kauri-Conditioner flew up and landed on her shoulder. "Come! Shampoo have good news for brother-in-law!"

Hot water poured over Conditioner, making her human again. She quickly wrapped herself with a towel and snickered at Nabiki. "It fun to scare quiet girl like that!"

"Okay, out with it!" Kinma demanded. "What is this good news you have for me, Shampoo?"

"Only that great-grandmother have pill to cure monocaine invisibility. And she wear around her neck!"

"Really?" Kinma walked closer to Shampoo. "And where is that ghoul, anyway?"

"At the Cat Café and Pool Hall, of course."

"Here it is, the Cat Café and Pool Hall," Kinma said. He pulled off his trench coat and hat and splashed himself with water. His everyday clothes became invisible along with his body. "Time to get that pill."

Cologne sat on the counter next to the cash register smoking her pipe. It was slow right now, but soon the evening rush hour would come. She hoped her two great-granddaughters would be back soon. Her grandson Aftershave couldn't handle cooking and waiting tables both, and no one handled a cash register under stress better than Conditioner.

Suddenly she heard the sound of a soft slipper nearby. Unlike most Cologne's hearing had sharpened instead of dulled with age, and saw no one who made the sound-which meant-.

She blew smoke in the direction, and suddenly it formed around Kinma's outline. Quickly she shot a sweet-smelling spray from her staff onto the invisible boy, then pressed a nearby button.

"YYYAAAGGGHHH!" Kinma ran out of the shop as fast as he could, the swarm of hornets right after him. He quickly jumped into an empty trashcan.

"Geez," Ranma said. "If you can't get it, I will." He barged into the Ramen shop and yelled, "All right old ghoul, hand over that pill!"

Two seconds later, Ranma was flying out of the shop. Shampoo and Conditioner both looked down at him. "Silly Ranma." Shampoo said, "Great Grandmother strongest fighter and trickiest as well. Only great grandfather ever beat her, and that because she let him."

"But there's got to be some way," Kinma said. "She's probably got more tricks against my invisibility, and you couldn't touch her in a fight." He looked down and saw something. "Here it is!"

Ranma looked where his brother's voice had come from. "What is it, Kinma?" A small poster floated to Ranma's hand. It read WAITRESS WANTED. APPLY AT CAT CAFÉ AND POOL HALL. "What does this have to do with anything, Kinma?"

Snickers came from Kinma's voice. "Can't you guess, little bro?"

Ranma's face paled. "Oh no. You can't mean-NO WAY!"

"Here you go!" Ranma-chan said in her most cheerful voice as she sat the bowel of wonton soup front of the customer. She turned to his tablemate. "And you had the pork ramen, didn't you?"

The customer smiled at the red-haired waitress. "I'd rather have you come with me back to my apartment," he said, a lecherous edge to his voice.

"I'd love to-," _pound you into a bloody pulp, _"but I'm working double shift tonight." As she walked away, Ranma's face grimaced. How had her brother talked her into this? Bad enough she had to wear this girly apron and lace cap, but getting hit on and having to be cheerful about it! Ranma had always been the better fighter but Kinma knew just how to manipulate his brother like a puppet.

"Son-in-Law!" Cologne cried. "Five more orders of shrimp Ramen!"

"Coming right up!" Ranma answered back. She walked up to the counter. _And now's the chance for that pill. _She grabbed for it, but all of a sudden Cologne placed the bowl in her hands. "Quick get a move on, sonny boy." As Ranma walked off with the bowls, Aftershave came out of the kitchen.

"Grandmother, do you think it's wise to use him like this?" he asked Cologne, who suddenly let out a smoke ring. It revealed Kinma's outline, and she quickly sent him through the back door to the alleyway.

"I'm testing him, Grandson," Cologne said. "Both of them." Unlike many Amazon matriarchs Cologne did not simply ignore or belittle men for asking questions, especially from her family. Most of her colleagues dismissed men as fools, which Cologne knew to be a foolish notion itself. She especially wanted Kinma for the tribe; everything she'd heard about him through hearsay and gossip said he was especially clever and Cologne knew the value of clever men. _Though he hasn't figured out how to get this pill yet._

Akane and Nabiki walked into the Cat Café and Pool Hall. Ranma was busy waiting the tables, going about as fast as any waitress possibly could.

"Ranma!" Akane said.

"Oh hey Akane!" Ranma answered in her working cheerful voice. "Hi Nabiki."

She went back to work and another customer swatted her behind. Ranma just giggled, but one look at her face told Akane she was miserable.

"I really feel sorry for the poor sap," Nabiki said with genuine sympathy. "The old lady must really be running him into the ground."

As soon as she had a break, Ranma sat down and slumped. Akane and Nabiki sat down across from her. "Ranma, maybe you should quit. I mean you're running yourself ragged."

Ranma shook her head. "No way. Kinma's my brother, and if there's any way I can help him get his hands on that pill, I'll do it."

"Such brotherly devotion. I admire that." The three looked and saw Cologne balancing on her staff next to their table. She took the pipe from her mouth and blew over her shoulder. The smoke formed around Kinma's face. "Come, come, sons in law. I have something to show you two."

"Isn't a little hot for to have a fire out this time of year?" Akane asked. She, Ranma, Nabiki, Kinma and the twins were in the backyard of the Café, where Cologne just lit a huge fire.

"What's this, a sweet yam roast?" Ranma said. He'd just changed from his waitress clothes and turned himself male. Kinma even poured hot water on himself, although he still wore his hat and trench coat.

"Conditioner, the bag please." The green haired handed her great-grandmother a brown paper bag. "What I have here is a bag of sweet chestnuts." She poured the contents of the bag onto the fire. "And now, after they've roasted for a few seconds-."

Faster than the eye could see, she reached into the fire and pulled the chestnuts out. She held them all up, perfectly roasted.

"Aiya!" Shampoo squealed. "Legendary Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire Training Technique!"

Conditioner nodded. "It good honor to be shown to outsiders!"

"Now you both try it." Ranma and Kinma kneeled down. "AAAHHHH! HOT HOT HOT!" Kinma cried, and he quickly thrust his hand into a nearby bucket of water, making his clothes invisible. Ranma managed to get a couple of chestnuts out, soon went for the water bucket too.

"You should be able to learn this technique with practice, Ranma." Cologne pulled out a teakettle and poured the hot water over Ranma-chan, making her Ranma-kun again. She blew smoke around Kinma, and then poured the remaining water over him. "You on the other hand-there's another technique that might suit you better."

The withered old woman stood off to the side, and then all of a sudden seemed to separate into two people. The two Colognes split into four, then the four into eight. The eight surrounded the Saotome brothers and circled around like a carousel. "Master this, and you just might be able to grab the pill from me!"

"Yeah, but, how do you do that? Kinma's glasses stared at Cologne.

"You're a clever boy. Figure it out!"

"As if." Everyone turned and saw a tall, slim young woman with wavy pink hair stood on top of the fence. She was wearing a loose black robe that covered all of her body below her neck. "As if a mere MAN could ever master an Amazon technique."

Conditioner turned her face away. "Go home, Laurial."

The pink haired woman only lept into the air and landed next to Conditioner. "Oh, but my darling Conditioner, I've come for-," she tried to embrace Conditioner, but only got sent flying backwards into the fence.

"How many times I have to tell you!" the green haired Amazon roared. "No am that way!"

A young man in a white robe suddenly leaped into the yard. "Oh hi Mousse." Shampoo said.

The boy looked a little like Kinma, save his jaw wasn't as square and his glasses were much thicker. "Hi Shampoo." He looked at Laurial, who was just getting out of the dent in the fence Conditioner had put her in. "Let me guess-my cousin tried to glomp onto your sister again, didn't she?"

Shampoo nodded. "Pervert-girl never learn, does she?"

Laurial looked around. "Alright, where is this Kinma Saotome."

"Right here," Kinma said. He'd put on a rubber mask and a pair of gloves when no one was looking-not a perfect disguise, but it would do. "What do you want with me?"

Conditioner looked closely at Kinma, something about him didn't look quite right. "I am Laurial of the Chinese Amazons, and Conditioner and I are meant to be!"

"That not true!" Conditioner cried out. "You only once my friend. Now no longer that!"

"Bb-but-," Kinma stammered, "you're a girl."

Nabiki looked at Mousse. "Is your cousin a-?"

Mousse nodded. "Yes she is."

"And Conditioner stopped being friends with her because of it?" Akane asked.

"No, sister no care about that," said Shampoo. "When Laurial become open about it, Conditioner even stick up for her when other village warriors harass Laurial. Then Laurial start making passes at sister and declare love. Conditioner try to let her down easy, Laurial no listen."

Mousse chuckled. "I used to do the same thing with Shampoo. But seeing my cousin made me realize how pathetic I looked, so I figured I might as well give up."

Shampoo smiled at Mousse. "Glad you did. You good friend Mousse, but not Shampoo type."

"Laurial!" Cologne shouted. "It's already been decided." She pointed at Kinma. "This man is to be Conditioner's groom."

"NEVER!" Laurial cried. "I will never allow my dear Conditioner to be the wife of a MAN!" She looked angrily at Cologne. "And who are you to talk! There's already some who say your line is cursed, as you only bore sons, and they only fathered sons themselves. How can a family with so few daughters continue to lead our Amazon tribe?"

Cologne attacked Laurial with her staff and sent her flying into the fence again. "My sons and grandsons are fine men; I feel no shame in them!" She wagged her staff at the young woman. "And you will speak to your elders with respect!"

Laurial only turned her head to Kinma. "And you, Kinma Saotome. I challenge to a duel two days from now. If you lose-…"

"You can't have Conditioner," Cologne said.

"If you lose," Laurial said again, then looked at the others before pointing at Nabiki, "I'll take your girl!"

"What!" Nabiki cried. "No way am I getting into this!"

"All right," Kinma said. "You have my pledge as a MAN."

Laurial snorted. "As if that's worth anything." She suddenly swung her sleeved arms and although she didn't reach Kinma, sent him railing backwards.

Laurial folded up her hands into her sleeves and bowed. "Farewell." She leaped up onto the fence and away from the yard.

Kinma got up, and then noticed his mask had been peeled away from his face. He adjusted it back when Conditioner and the others came up to him.

"That girl," Ranma said in amazement, "How'd she hit you like that? She wasn't even close to you!"

"You have to be careful!" Conditioner said. "Laurial know many tricks!"

"She does," Mousse nodded. "We both practice this art called 'Hidden Weapons,'" The tall Chinese boy showed how he kept a wide variety of blades, spiked balls, spears, and even a swan shaped training potty.

"Man, you've got everything in your robe but the kitchen sink!" Ranma exclaimed.

Mousse snorted. "That's nothing. The master we studied under told us about another student of hers, a rich American named something Wayne, who figured out how to hide as much on a belt."

Ranma turned back to Kinma. "How are you going to fight her Kinma? I know your not going to fight a duel invisible, but you can't change back now, and that disguise of yours isn't going to hold up!"

"Maybe not," Kinma said as he rubbed the chin of his mask. "But then again, maybe it won't have to."

That Sunday students from Furinkan High School and a few others in Nerima crowded into the local park. "Boy I hear Kinma's having a fight with some babe!" "Yeah. And Nabiki's the prize!" "What! She's not into guys!" "With all the perverts around here, who could blame her?"

"Get your tickets here!" Conditioner shouted as she waved the multi-colored tickets into the air. "Need ticket to watch fight! No buy ticket, no can watch!"

"Pork buns!" shouted Shampoo; strapped to her was a container full of the meat-stuffed pastries. "Get your pork buns!"

The crowd gathered around the ring set up in the middle of the park. Laurial was already inside, dressed a robe like she wore the other day.

"Where is he?" Laurial looked around. "Afraid he'll get beaten by a girl. How typical of a man."

"Ahem?" Mousse grunted behind her.

"Oh, I don't mean you my dear cousin," Laurial said; a look of embarrassment over her face. "Why, I hardly think of you as a man at all!"

Mousse just turned away. He loved Laurial like a sister and had even stood by her when she made her tastes public, but sometimes her opinion of his sex really grated.

"I hope he shows up soon," Nabiki said. "After all, I AM the prize in this fight."

"That's right!" Akane exclaimed. "If Kinma doesn't show up or loses, then you-."

"Have no fear of that, Miss Akane Tendo," Laurial smirked. "After I win, I'll let your sister go. She doesn't interest me-too flat chested. Not like my dear Conditioner's bosom."

Nabiki crossed her arms. In a way, she was relieved that Laurial wasn't interested in her, but did she have compare to the green haired Amazon?

Ranma looked around. "Kinma will be here. There's Kiroshi and Genosho taking up bets on the fight. And I know my brother; he never throws a fight for money."

More minutes passed. "He he, looks like he won't show up after all!" cackled Cologne.

"He'll be here," Nabiki said.

"ON WITH THE SHOW!" Kinma's loud voice cried out. The entire mob of spectators saw a figure in a blue Chinese-style robe leap out of the sky and into the ring.

"Is that-Kinma?" Akane asked. Nabiki looked closer at the figure in robes. It did look a little like her fiancé but he wore dark glasses, his face was waxy and pale, and there was something wrong with his hair…

"Heh he," Cologne laughed. "That makes an even better disguise than his other one, but it won't last-this hot sun will melt his make-up right off, and then everyone will know his secret!"

"All right Laurial!" Kinma shouted his arms folded up inside his robes. "I don't like beating up girls, so I'll go easy on you."

"MEN!" Laurial cried. She hurled a group of chained spiked balls at Kinma, who barely managed to dodge out of the way. "I hate all of you!"

"Laurial doesn't just prefer girls," Akane asked Conditioner, "She really hates guys, doesn't she."

"She does." Conditioner nodded. "Sometime I miss old friend. Other time, Laurial make Condition long for days when Amazons tie up such woman and throw to crocodiles."

Kinma snickered at Laurial. "Got any more tricks up your sleeve?"

"Tricks!" Laurial cried. "Is that what you think my techniques are!"

"Of course!" Kinma said, as he released a bunch of cards at the Amazon. "This whole 'hidden weapon' business of yours is just some cute magic show!"

"Oh really?" Now Laurial held back her head and laughed. "Then I'll show you the true terror of my 'cute magic show!'"

She sent another group of chained balls that wrapped around Kinma this time. "Give up, Saotome? Like any man, you're no match for a true Amazon!"

"I'm not impressed." Kinma dropped a smoke bomb from his sleeve. When the smoke cleared, the chains and his robe, wig, and sunglasses lay crumpled on the ring floor.

"Where are you?" Laurial cried.

"Right behind you." Laurial turned around and saw nothing. "Over here." She looked to her right. "Not even close."

"Show yourself!" Laurial cried. _How typical of a man, _she thought, _running when getting beat by a woman._

"If you insist." Suddenly a pair of tight pants and tight shirt formed the shape of a human body. Next gloves appeared and a tight black hood formed over the head. "Will this do?"

"Kinma-baby, you're brilliant." Nabiki said quietly.

"Yes he is a clever boy," Cologne added. "But he's making a terrible mistake."

"I see now what you want," Laurial took off her robe, showing a pink leotard underneath. "Now I cast aside my tricks and fight completely unarmed!"

"Very well." Kinma held up his staff and tossed it aside.

"Hiaya!" Laurial jumped at Kinma, who barely blocked her kick. She landed an uppercut tohis stomach then backhanded his hood-covered face. "See how good I am without my magic 'tricks?'"

_She_ is _good, _Kinma thought dizzily, _and she's got a temper like Akane's. And I had Kiroshi and Genosho place five to one odds in her favor! If only I managed that splitting cat hairs technique!_

"Hugh!" Laurial reeled back. The entire audience cried in shock with her. They just saw two covered-up Kinmas!

"What is it, pervert?" Kinma managed between gasps. _If I have to go down, I'll go down with some attitude!"_

"There, there are two of you! No four!"

"Eh?" Kinma looked to the right, then left of him. Sure enough, there were three duplicates of himself. _Now I won't go broke!_

"Now there are eight!"

"What do you know?" Cologne said, "he mastered the splitting cat hairs technique after all!"

_I can do this I won't go broke, I can do this, I won't go broke! _Kinma thought as he got up. He raced around Laurial, her eyes going wide as she tried to figure out which wrapped up boy was the real one.

"Take this!" Kinma undid the buttons of her leotard. "And this!" He tore the leotard away from her chest. "And this!" He tore off her bra.

"You, you, you MAN!" Laurial cried. She crossed her arms over her bare breasts, and kicked out at the shadows. Suddenly her face turned red as she noticed the lecherous stares of the men in the audience-then was knocked out by the back of Kinma's hand.

"That's my brother!" Ranma hooted, obvious pride in his voice.

"That certainly took some real brains," Nabiki admitted.

"You got her, Kinma!" Conditioner cheered

Mousse sighed. "That was a bit underhanded, but my cousin DID challenge him, and he didn't hurt her too badly."

Kinma walked over where Cologne was standing. "So you figured out the splitting cat hairs technique, son in law."

"Yep." Kinma created eight more images of himself. "Now hand over that pill.

At that very moment rain came pouring down from the sky. A screaming Ranma-chan ran from pursuing Neko-Shampoo, Nabiki shrieked and ran to hide from Kouri-Conditioner, and the rain formed a watery outline around a completely invisible Kinma.

"Ha hah hah," the ancient Amazon cackled. "The Splitting Cat Hairs is an effective technique, but it doesn't work in the rain!" She cackled again as she bounded away.

Kinma just stood there, depressed, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Dr. Tofu under an umbrella.

"Kinma," the young doctor said. "after that call from Kasumi, I got wrapped up with my other patients and couldn't reach you. But I must tell you something about the monocaine in your system."

"What about it, Doc?"

"It has another side effect besides making someone invisible." Dr. Tofu paused for a moment, then continued. "Unless we find a cure soon, you'll go insane!"

End of Chapter 18

How was Kinma able to do the Splitting Cat Hairs Technique? Like Ranma with the Mouksa Toushiba or Ryoga with the Shi Shi Hokkodon, it has to do with his strongest emotion, although another person can do the same thing with a different emotion.

Another thing I should make clear here is that Conditioner is 100 straight. Her anger at Laurial is NOT any denial of attraction to women or bisexuality on her part.


	19. Kyudo Jet Ski Biathlon!

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz

Entertainment. No money is being made of their use in this work of Fanfiction-if I could, I'd quit my job.

Chapter 19: The Kyudo Jet Ski Biathlon!

Ranma-chan looked out over the beach from the lifeguard's chair. When they found out the Cat Café would be relocating to the Oceanside for the summer, the Saotomes and the Tendos followed after them. "Nope, no sign of the ghoul anywhere," she said to herself.

She leaped down to the sand. "I can't find any sign of her," she called out.

"Well it is a big beach," Kinma's voice said behind her.

Ranma looked where her brother's voice had come from. "You know, you don't have to be completely invisible. You could be wearing that mask or make up. I mean you almost got run over by those college kids in a dune buggy, for Pete's sake!"

"No way." Kinma said firmly. "That mask is torture to wear in this heat, and makeup would run. We've got to find that old hag and get that pill from her!"

Ranma looked down at her own body. "At least you don't have to wear a girl's bathing suit."

"I've been repeatedly bumped into, nearly ran over, missed several chances to earn some cash because of this, and you're complaining about HAVING TO WEAR A GIRL'S BATHING SUIT!"

"Geez, I'm sorry-!"

"WHO DO YOU THINK HAS PAID OUR RENT, KEPT UP WITH OUR BILLS, AND PAYS FOR OUR FOOD? THAT LAZY OLD MAN OF OURS!" Kinma roared. "AND YOU NEVER HELPED ME IN ANY OF IT, YOU GIRLY BOY!"

Ranma felt Kinma's hands grasp and tighten around her neck and force her to the ground. Normally Ranma could trounce Kinma, but when limited to the strength of her female body and she couldn't see him-. "Kinma! What-are-you-do-ing!"

Suddenly Ranma felt her neck being released and she could breath freely. "I'm sorry little bro," Kinma's voice said. "I guess Dr. Tofu was right.

"_A dangerous side effect of monocaine," Dr. Tofu had said back at the Tendo Dojo, "is the madness that goes along with it. There have been two other recorded instances of men who made themselves invisible with monocaine, and both of them went mad the way Dr. Griffin did._

"We've got to find that old ghoul, before you lose it completely!" Ranma said, her hand rubbing her throat.

"Excuse me." Suddenly the old woman jumped over Ranma's head and ran off, her staff holding a takeout box over her shoulder.

"There she is, little bro!" Kinma called out. "Hey ghoul!"

The two began chasing after Cologne, who, despite her age and short legs remained a good lead ahead of them. "Hey, ghoul!" Ranma cried. "Are you going to give us the pill or what?"

"Oh, forget about that, sons-in law!" the old woman stopped and pointed to a banner. "How would you boys like to enter that?"

"Huh?" Ranma asked.

"Kyudo Jet Ski biathlon?"

"THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS!" a man shouted into a megaphone. "THE KYUDO JET SKI BIATHLON, WHERE A TEAM OF TWO RACES TO THE FINISHLINE ON A JETSKI. ONE PERSON OPERATES THE JETSKI AND HOLDS A WATERMELON, WHILE THE OTHER TEAMATE TRIES TO SPLIT THEIR OPPONENTS' MELONS WITH ARROWS! THE FIRST TEAM TO REACH THE FINISHLINE WINS!"

The small crowd that had gathered began to turn away. "What a stupid idea!" one boy said.

"Yeah, you said it!" echoed another.

"AND THE PRIZE FOR THE WINNING TEAM," the Announcer cried, "IS A WALK AROUND THE BEACH WITH THESE TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!" Standing up on the platform with the announcer were Shampoo and Conditioner. And dangling from Conditioner's hand was…

"The pill!"

"Where have those two gone off to?" Akane asked Nabiki. "They said they'd be back by lunch, and that was an hour ago!"

"With Ranma and Kinma-baby, they could be right beside us and we'd never know." Nabiki reach down and scratched Dollars between the ears. "Or at least they could be without Dollars here, he'd sniff 'em out. Isn't that right you adorable wolf-dog you?"

Swarms of boys began running past the Tendo sisters. "Let's go enter that Kyudo Jet Ski Biathlon!" one of them shouted.

"Yeah!" said another. "I hear the prize is a pair of babes!"

Dollars looked up, sniffed into the air, and barked. "What is it boy?" Nabiki asked. The dog looked in the direction the boys were going, barked again pulled at his leash. "You smell them?"

Shampoo was hopping with glee when she saw Ranma-chan signing up for the contest. "You and brother-in-law fight for Shampoo and sister!" She ran over to the pigtailed redhead and hugged her. "I so happy!"

Ranma suddenly saw Kinma's name appear next to her own. "I just thought of something," she whispered. "You'll be the one shooting the arrows-you're the archer in the family after all-but how will you keep from getting wet?"

"I already thought of that, little bro."

"ON YOUR MARK," the announcer raised his pistol, "GET SET," and then he fired, "GO!"

Almost as soon as the jet skis emerged from the starting line a third of them had their watermelons smashed. "AND THE TEAM THAT TAKES THE LEAD IS A REDHAIRED GIRL AND-SOME GUY WEARING A RUBBER MASK AND WETSUIT!"

"We're in the lead Kinma!" Ranma shouted at her brother, who was picking off their opponents' watermelons one by one. "We're gonna win!"

"Just keep driving to the finish line, little bro."

As Ranma sped the Jet Ski forward, she had her hands full keeping it on course and other arrows from hitting her watermelon. Suddenly she noticed one arrow was a bit short- "You!" she cried as she looked to her left. "You shouldn't be using a Chinese repeating crossbow!"

"Nothing in the rules said I couldn't, son in law!" Cologne said as she cocked her weapon and fired again. Ranma moved her watermelon out from the bolts' trajectory. "I see you've learned the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique."

Aftershave was piloting the other Jet Ski; Kinma kept shooting arrows at his watermelon but Cologne's grandson was almost as quick as Ranma at dodging the shafts. "Oh, does this take me back to when I played in the ocean as a little girl!" Cologne cackled.

"When was that, right before Genghis Kahn crossed into China?" Kinma said under his breath.

Suddenly an arrow came from the other side. The Saotome brothers looked and saw Genma-Panda and Soun riding up beside them. "Ranma, Kinma, how could you!" Soun cried after firing a second arrow. "How can you be trying to win those two girls? You're both engaged to my daughters!"

"Now wait a minute!" Ranma cried.

"This is just to get that pill so I can be visible again!" Kinma added. "It has nothing to do with-!"

"ONLY THREE TEAMS REMAIN!" the announcer cried. "THE REDHEAD AND THE MAN IN A RUBBER SUIT, THE PANDA AND MIDDLE-AGED GUY, THE OTHER MIDDLE-AGED GUY AND THE LIVING MUMMY!" A short crossbow bolt shot out and cut through the megaphone.

"Who are you calling a mummy?" Cologne rasped as she re-cocked her crossbow.

The Announcer picked up another megaphone. "WAIT FOLKS! THERE'S ONE MORE TEAM. TWO PRETTY GIRLS WITH SHORT HAIR!"

"Never mind Daddy!" Nabiki called out.

"We couldn't care less if Ranma and Kinma want those girls!" added Akane.

Dollars was watching from the shore, and his canine ears picked up what was too far away for humans to hear. _I see how much you don't care, sweet Nabiki,_ he thought, depressed.

Kasumi sat right next to Dollars. "Go Akane! Go Nabiki!" she cheered her sisters on.

P-chan stood right next to dollars. Her eyesight wasn't good enough to make out the race scene and her hearing, while good, didn't match a dogs. _I just hope you get that pill, Kinma-kun, and get normal again._

Nabiki managed to steer her jet ski between the Saotome Brothers' and her father and Genma's. "AND NOW THE TWO SHORT HAIRED GIRLS TAKE THE LEAD!"

"Not so fast!" Now the announcer and the spectators gasped to see the Amazon Twins leap onto a jet ski and zoom off towards the Tendo sisters. "We let no ones but airens pass!"

"WHAT'S THIS!" the announcer called as Shampoo stood up behind her sister and grab a bow and quiver of arrows. "THE PRIZES HAVE JOINED THE FIGHT!"

"Nabiki!" Akane called out to her sister. "Quit rocking the boat. I can't keep my aim steady!"

"I'm trying Akane!" Nabiki had her hands full steering the jet ski while holding on to her watermelon. One of Shampoo's arrows had already nicked it and another almost knocked it from her hand.

One of Akane's wild shots hit the Amazon Twins' jet ski motor. Immediatley it capsized, turning the two into their cursed forms.

"AAAYYYYEEEEAIAAAHHH!" Nabiki cried at the sight of Kourmi-Conditioner flying up from the ocean. She turned a tad too sharply and Akane fell off from the jet ski into the water.

Nabiki didn't notice her sister had fallen; she kept speeding away as fast as she could, until she ran into Ranma and Kinma. "Nabiki!" Ranma cried out. "Where's Akane!"

Nabiki looked over her shoulder. "She must have fallen off!" Nabiki looked at the two brothers. "She can't swim. She's like a lead hammer in the water."

"Akane I'm coming!" Ranma leaped into the water.

"I'm going after her too." Kinma jumped after his female brother.

The two brothers kept their eyes open, ignoring the salt water's sting. Ranma immediately spotted Akane struggling and swam over to her. She grabbed a hold of her fiancée and swam to the surface.

"Akane!" Ranma saw Akane gasp. "Are you-?"

"She's got too much water in her lungs," Kinma said. "She needs CPR."

Ranma looked at the beach. "We'll never make it to shore in time-." Suddenly Neko-Shampoo came swimming up beside Ranma-

"YYYAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!" The redhead swam off to the beach, at a speed that would have rivaled the fastest airboat.

"What do you know?" Kinma said to himself as he picked up the struggling cat and swam off after his brother. "That phobia of Ranma's is good for something after all."

Akane woke to find herself lying on her bed in the Tendo family beach house. Standing around her were her father, sisters, and the Saotomes. "Wha-what happened?"

"You almost drowned," Kasumi said, "and Ranma here saved you."

"Really?" Akane looked over at the pigtailed boy. "Thanks, Ranma." Suddenly she noticed something "Kinma! You're visible again!"

"Yep." The older Saotome boy nodded. "After Ranma got you to shore, the old ghoul apologized for what happed, and as a token, she gave me the pill, so, I'm normal again."

"If you can call being invisible half the time normal." Nabiki said smugly.

"At least it's not as pathetic as being afraid of bats." Kinma shot back.

"Bats are a lot scarier than pigs."

"Bats can't trample you to death. The worst they can do is give you rabies, and that's about as likely as being struck by lightning."

"Oh really?" Nabiki picked up P-chan, who had been hiding under Akane's bed, and shoved her into Kinma's face.

"YYYYAAAAAGGGGHHHH!"

Outside the beach house, Aftershave and his daughters were eavesdropping. "Fate certainly has chosen two very unusual husbands for you two."

"Not like we have choice, Father." Shampoo said. "Is Amazon law."

"Besides, the way they no can stand girls stupid panda father pick, soon enough they come to us." Conditioner looked back at the beach house. "We no finish with you yet, airen. Soon, you and brother belong to Conditioner and sister!"

End of chapter 19

Okay, this wasn't my best writing. Hopefully you guys like my next chapter better.

Anyone want to see Shampoo and Conditioner's father play a bigger role than he did in the manga?

And here's some plot ideas I have:

Kinnosuke comes to Nerima early. It seems that he and Kinma knew each other in the past-and they were not friends.

Ryoga and Yoiko get lost-and find themselves in Superman's Fortress!

Akari and Katsunishiki arrive, and the sight of the giant-sumo pig sends Kinma into his berserker rage. He defeats the pig, and now we have swinophile chasing a swinophobe!

As the story progresses, Kinma has flashbacks of life before the training journey, with Nodoka.

Tell me what you think!


	20. Enter Happosai the LustfulLittle Girl?

Ranma ½ and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz

Entertainment. I'm not making any money off of their use here-if I was, I'd be too rich to work at ABXAir.

Chapter 20: Enter Happosai, the Lustful-Little Girl?

_Deep in the mountains of the Quinhaix province of China, a great evil awakes…_

The Saotomes and the Tendos were sitting at the dinner table eating. "More rice, father?" Kasumi asked.

"Of course, Kasumi." But as Soun held his bowl, it suddenly slipped from his hands. "An-an omen!"

Genma chuckled. "Rice bowel goes crack, demon attacks. You don't really believe that old wives' tale, do you?"

Soun looked at his old friend. "DEMON?"

_The evil makes it's way out of the cave that imprisoned it for so long, to the edge of the mountain-and falls…_

Soun and Genma where mopping up the floors to the dojo, when all of a sudden the shelf for the alter to the Tendo ancestral spirits broke, dropping the alter to the floor.

Soun looked nervous, but Genma only laughed. "Alter goes smack, demon comes back."

"Don't tempt fate, Saotome."

Genma laughed again as he stepped forward. "Just humor-wha-?" His left sandal came off his foot. "The strap's broken!"

_The evil gets to its feet-and comes to some nearby springs where a silver haired young man talks with a fat Chinese…_

"Get away from me, Conditioner!" Nabiki cried as she ran through the waterlogged streets. Flying right behind her was Koumori-Conditioner, squeaking and yipping with what sounded like glee. She'd just been meeting with her contacts at Tomobiki High School when that Amazon showed up in her bat-form. All thoughts of getting money from Shuteru Mendo faded as the middle Tendo ran off in fright.

Right up on her heels was Dollars who kept leaping up and snapping at the bat. The dog was good for sniffing out Kinma if he tried to use invisibility to spy on Nabiki or foil her moneymaking schemes, but he couldn't drive Conditioner away.

"Nabiki!!" Nabiki just came around the corner when she saw the Furinkan girl's track team engaging in some sort of struggle with purple-pink blur. Suddenly the blur jumped at her and grabbed her in the chest.

Nabiki suddenly fell on her back. "What?" Holding onto her and rubbing her head against Nabiki's bosom was girl who looked about six or seven with sugar pink hair done in twin ponytails and dressed in a purple-pink gi. "Nabiki!"

One of the girls from the track team came up to Nabiki. "Do you know this girl, Nabiki?"

Nabiki looked down at the girl who was still glomped onto her chest. "I don't think so."

The girl looked straight at Nabiki, her eyes open wide. "Then you really are Nabiki? Soun Tendo's daughter?" Nabiki nodded. "Can you take me to him? PLEASE?"

"Okay. Just get off of me, please."

As they walked to the Tendo residence, the girl insisted on holding her arms around Nabiki's waist. Nabiki wore a glum expression as she wondered just who this girl was and how she knew her father. By the way she was grabbing her, Nabiki also wondered-_no she can't be! She's only a little girl, for Pete's sake! You've been reading too much dirty manga!_

They had just come to the Tendo courtyard when Kinma came up from opposite direction. "Hey Nabiki what's up? Who's you're friend?"

"I was running from that bat-Amazon fiancée of yours, Kinma-baby, when I ran into her. She says she knows my dad."

The girl looked at Kinma. "You're Kinma Saotome? Genma Saotome's boy?"

"Unfortunately, yeah, he is-."

Suddenly the girl let go of Nabiki and leaped at Kinma. "Oh boy! You're just like I expected. So handsome and manly and-!"

"What is going on?" Soun Tendo stepped out of the house. "And who's this little girl?"

The girl released Kinma and stared Soun straight in the face. "Don't you remember, Soun old boy? A mountain cave in China, a whole bunch of rice wine, and dynamite?"

Soun Tendo backed away in fright. He recognized that look. It couldn't be, and yet it somehow was. "Ma-ma-master!"

Nabiki and Kinma looked at each other. "Master?"

The girl looked past Soun and saw a panda in the yard. "Genma Saotome. You haven't changed a bit, have you!"

Genma-Panda held up a sign: JUST A CUDDLY LITTLE PANDA!

Soun took a long sip from his tea. Nabiki, Kinma Genma-who'd just turned human again-and the girl were all sitting at the family table with him; the other three also had mugs of warm tea while the little girl was smoking from a pipe.

"Ah, yes, it was all ten years ago, when Saotome and I were training under master Happosai….

"_Stop thieves!" an angry mob of villagers cried as they chased after young Genma and Soun and a shriveled bald old dwarf, each with an enormous bundle of goods over their shoulders…_

"Sometimes we'd have to wash dishes for a restaurant when the master would eat a meal and leave without paying. Other times…

_The old man ran out of the store with a bundle of bras and panties. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the store ladies had grabbed Soun and Genma. "You know what to do boys!"_

…we'd clean dress dummies to pay for ladies unmentionables he had taken. And then one day, when to further our training, we had crossed into China…"

"_Master!" Soun cried out. He and Genma held a bottle before Happosai. "Here's some rice wine we stole from that village of fierce women. It's not quite sake, but-."_

"_Just give it too me!" Happosai cried as he snatched the bottle from Soun. He opened it and drank…_

…as soon as the master was drunk, we tied him into a box with lit dynamite, threw it into the cave sealed it with a boulder."

"Interesting story," Nabiki said as she reached across the table and picked up a rice-cookie, "but where does the girl come in?"

The girl looked at Nabiki and gave a wide cute smile. "Why silly," she said, "I AM their master Happosai!"

Kinma and Nabiki face faulted. "But the Happosai in their story was an old man and you're a little girl!" Kinma stammered out.

"Oh that." The girl inhaled on her pipe and blew a smoke ring. "It's a long story that goes like this…"

_Happosai suddenly felt himself be pulled out of the bushes he was hiding in. "Hmm, this shriveled monkey should make the perfect test subject," the silver haired man said. Before Happosai could say anything the stranger tossed him into a nearby spring._

_Happosai swam up to the surface. Suddenly he felt strange-he could exactly say why-and as he got to the surface he noticed wet hair in his eyes. He had hair again?"_

_He'd just wiped the hair away from his eyes when he felt another splash in his face. "Why'd you do that!" he cried out in an unfamiliar voice._

"_That not monkey! That was person!" the man in the Communist uniform cried out. He reached out with a stick and helped the transformed Happosai out of the spring. "Dear sir! Very tragic thing happen to you! Fall in Spring of Drowned Girl; make you take body of young girl! Then Herb of Musk Dynasty here," he indicated the silvery-haired young man, "splash you with water from Pail of Preservation! Now you stay young girl!"_

"Oh master!" Genma cried. "What a horrible fate! Please forgive us!" He and Soun both got up, then down on their knees.

"What are they doing?" Nabiki asked Kinma.

"The Crouch of the Tiger," Kinma drolled. "Pathetic, but effective."

"Oh please," Happosai said. "I'm not here for revenge. If anything, I want to thank you two. Because of this, I've got my youth back!" She held a hand to her head. "And I've got hair again!"

"But you're a girl," Kinma said.

Happosai shrugged. "A side effect I can live with." She eyed Soun and Genma. "Now before I begin my new life, I realize I need to pick an heir to carry one the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts-which has to be one of you."

"Just a minute!" Soun and Genma exited out the side door, and then came back. Soun was pulling a loaded rickshaw and Genma had a pack strapped to his back. "I just remembered I'm moving to China!" Soun called out.

Genma jerked a thumb at Soun. "Yeah, I'm with him."

"I can't believe this!" Ranma-chan's voice came from the hallway. "Why does that woman have to be watering her lawn everytime I walk by?"

She and Akane walked into the room-and Genma suddenly dropped his backpack and grabbed Ranma. "Here Master, why don't you take this one for your heir? I know he's not much to look at, but he cleans up nice."

Ranma looked at her brother. "Could you tell me what's going on?"

"Genma, how could you!" The little pink haired girl leaped at Ranma and grabbed around her chest. "I can't do that to such a beautiful young girl like this!"

Suddenly Happosai felt Ranma's body reshape and harden under her arms-and suddenly realized she was holding onto a well-built young man. "As you can see," Genma said as he sat down the teakettle, "my other son is really a healthy young man!"

"You're a guy too?" Happosai looked at Ranma, her eyes open wide. "Yay!" she cried and hugged even tighter.

Ranma shoved her off. "Who are you and what do you want with-?" Before he could say anything, the pink-haired girl flipped out her pipe, and sent Ranma flying through the roof.

"Well now, if he's really a boy, I don't have to be so gentle, do I?" She looked at Kinma. "And you. Do you turn into a girl too? Before Kinma could answer, she splashed him with cold water-then blinked when Kinma disappeared. "Where'd he go?"

An invisible fist sent Happosai flying out the door. "Sorry to disappoint you."

End of chapter 20

Well, what do you readers think? Is my mind getting too warped?

I'm afraid I'm going to be slower in my updates than I have been. I'm really going to try to turn away from the original plotline, and my other story seems to have become more popular. Don't worry, I won't be giving up writing this one, just ry to put more thought into it. Like this new Happosai still steals bras and panties. But what do you think she also grabs?


	21. Training on Mt Terror!

Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz

Entertainment. No Money is being made from their use in this work of Fanfiction-otherwise I'd be too rich to work where I do.

Chapter 21: The Saotome Brothers Train on Mount Terror

Ranma moaned as Kinma tried to explain algebra to him. "Look Ranma, if _x _equals 3 and _y _equals 11, then what is a triple _x_ squared minus a double _y_?"

Ranma rolled up his eyes. "A billion?"

Kinma closed his eyes and shook his head. His brother wasn't stupid-no one who picked up martial arts techniques the way Ranma did could be considered stupid-but he just didn't seem interested in anything else. Kinma was no honor student himself but always managed to keep his grades decent. "Look Ranma, you want to be like Pop? Going from town to town dodging bill collectors and freeloading off of people you engage your kids to?"

_That_ brought Ranma to attention. "Heck no!" For the next half hour Ranma actually concentrated on his homework, until he solved enough of the problems on his assignment that Kinma hoped would satisfy Ranma's teacher.

Kasumi came into family room holding a letter. "This came in the mail for you," she said, handing it to Kinma. "For both of you, actually."

Kinma took the letter from Kasumi and opened it. "It's from Ryoga."

"Oh?" Ranma got up and walked over to his brother's side. "What does it say?"

_Dear Ranma and Kinma,_ the letter read, _I have been training here in the cold lonely mountains of Okinawa-_

Ranma scratched his head. "Okinawa doesn't have any mountains that I know of, and it isn't cold either."

"He must be in Hokkaido," put in Kinma.

_-for the past two weeks. I will be coming to Tendo Dojo this Friday. Get ready to die, both of you!_

"That's a formal letter of challenge!" The two brothers looked and saw Akane come into the room with P-chan cradled in her arms. "And Friday is today."

"Huh." Ranma snorted. "With his sense of direction he could be just about anywhere right now. I'd say we've got about a week, right Kinma?"

One week later…

Conditioner smiled as she counted up the day's profits. They'd had a very busy day at the Cat Café, and by the look of things, a very profitable one as well. "Added this day, we make 6,000,000 yen this week!" she called to her sister Shampoo, who was busy clearing the tables.

"That good news!" Shampoo said. Suddenly she looked to see the doorway behind her sister. "Welcome back, Great Grandmother!" Cologne had just walked through the door carrying a backpack on her staff.

Conditioner also looked at the family matriarch and smiled. "Did you find the herbs you were looking for?"

"Yes I did. And I found something else too." Cologne held up Dollars: the dog's four legs had been tied up and his mouth lashed shut with his bandanna. "Look at this tasty looking dog I found!"

"It look juicy!" Conditioner said.

"Sure do," Shampoo agreed. Dog properly cooked and seasoned was something she'd missed about China; it had been a shock to her that the Japanese not only didn't eat dogs but also were disgusted that anyone would. _Who they to judge other people taste? They eat raw fish and tanuki!_

"Stop squirming," Cologne said as she walked past Shampoo into the kitchen, "it'll be over before you know it."

"Say sister," Conditioner said to Shampoo, "where we see that dog before?"

Cologne got the big wok full of water boiling then pick up Dollars. "In you go," she said as she dropped the canine into the scalding hot liquid.

Shampoo looked at her twin sister in horror. "Shampoo remember now!" They rushed into the kitchen. "Great Grandmother! No cook that dog! No cook! No!"

"Eh?" Cologne looked at her two great granddaughters, then lept back to avoid being scalded by the water. For out of the wok lept a red, naked, and angry Ryoga.

"Dog turn into man!" cried Conditioner.

"So, you're a friend of my sons in law, eh?" Cologne asked.

"Don't make me laugh!" Ryoga said angrily. He had dressed himself with the change of clothes from his backpack and was getting ready to leave. "It's all the fault of those two brothers that I become a dog and my sister becomes a pig!"

"Sister become pig?" Shampoo asked. "She violent girl Akane pet pig?"

Ryoga nodded; he was angrier about what happened to Yoiko than his own situation. He could still protect himself as a dog and he didn't have to worry about people trying to eat him-most of the time. "She does it so she can be near that Kinma Saotome-in spite of all the trouble he's caused us."

Cologne took out her pipe and filled it. "Perhaps I can help."

"How can you help me?" Ryoga asked dubiously.

"I'm offering to train you," Cologne to a puff on her pipe. "I've taught both of them new techniques; I might be able to teach you a thing or two."

"No thanks." Ryoga strapped on his backpack. "See you granny."

"This show stupid," Conditioner said glumly as Shampoo's favorite Japanese anime was ending. "Five girl prance around in sailor fuku fight silly monsters. And boy in tuxedo throw exploding rose. How corny can get?"

"Shampoo agree watch Wall Street with you, so now Conditioner have to watch what Shampoo want now," Shampoo retorted.

"Excuse me." The Amazon Twins looked and saw Ryoga in the doorway of the T. V. room. "Can you show me to the door?"

Conditioner had just stepped of the shower and was about to wrap a towel around her when all of a sudden the door opened. "Where is that-AAAAGGGHHHH!"

"You peep on me, pervert boy!" Conditioner cried. "What you still do here!"

"I got lost." Ryoga covered his eyes and held his nose to stop the bleeding. "Just walk me to the door, will you?"

Sighing, Conditioner put on a bathrobe and walked Ryoga through the house to the Café door. "Here is door. Now if you ever walk in on shower no care if you is human. Become dinner for Chinese New Year!"

Kinma Saotome was as happy as he could be-without having won the sixty trillion yen lottery, at least. He was walking back on the canal rail from the Tomobiki ward; he'd sold several pictures of Akane, Ranma-chan, Kodachi and the Twins to that one guy with a goofy looking expression on his face. That rich guy who seemed like a smarter version of Kuno also bought several of them and those four bought even more photos of that alien girl who vaguely resembled an Oni. He now had enough for at least three months of rent.

"Prepare to die, Kinma Saotome!" Kinma looked up and barely dodged out of the way. "Well, well, well, look what the cat, dragged in." Kinma adjusted his glasses. "It's about time you showed up. You're a week late."

"Then I just gave you and that brother of yours another week to live!" Ryoga snarled. He swung again, and barely missed Kinma. Had Kinma as agile as his brother he would have leaped over Ryoga's head. As it was the best he could do was simply dodge out of the way of Ryoga's fists.

And his best wasn't quite good enough. He moved to block a punch, momentarily forgetting the bills in his hand-until they flew out and into the canal.

"NO!" Kinma cried as he saw his money floating out to sea. He turned back to Ryoga, and leaped to the ground. "Alright Hibiki," he said as he whipped out his staff, "I'm ready."

"Happy to oblige,"Ryoga smiled. He grabbed the umbrella from his pack and charged at Kinma. Kinma met and blocked every one of Ryoga's blows with his staff, and landed a few on the Hibiki boy. Ryoga obviously felt them but only grunted a little. _This guy's an animal,_Kinma thought. Quickly he turned his head and noticed a nearby fountain.

Ryoga grinned as he saw Kinma back away. He put more strenth into his blows that the older Saotome boy still managed to block. Then he saw they had come next to a fountain and rage poured out of him. "Planning to make yourself invisible, are you?" In his fury he grew careless, and failed to notice the right end of Kinma's staff come between his legs-and trip him into the fountain.

"No one said anything about me turning invisible, you mangy mutt," Kinma said to the dripping wet Dollars emerging from the fountain.

"How could you!" Kinma turned and saw Nabiki standing behind him. Dollars walked out of the pond and sat before Nabiki whimpering. She slapped Kinma in the face. "I've been worried, wondering where Dollars is, and you find him and get your kicks by dunking him in the water!" Nabiki knelt down hugged the wet dog who licked her face. "Don't worry Baby. Mommy will get you home and get you all nice and dry. And then maybe we'll get Aunt Akane to be beat him up!"

"But you can't-," Kinma said, then stopped while Nabiki and the dog walked away. _You can't tell her. For Yoiko's sake you can't._

He looked back and saw the dog wag his tail as he walked alongside Nabiki. _How'd he get so slow?_

"It's obvious, Kinma," Ranma said as Kinma blocked one of his kicks, then fell backwards with punch to his center. "Ryoga's not slower; you're just faster."

Kinma used his staff to straighten back onto his feet. "How do you figure that little bro?"

"Simple," Ranma said. "I've gotten faster when I learned the Chesnut Fist; and you spar with me all the time. If you hadn't, you couldn't keep up with me now." Suddenly Ranma grabbed his brother's staff and sent him flying back against a tree. "Although you still don't keep up that well."

All of a sudden Genma-Panda leaped out of nowhere and kicked Ranma down next to Kinma. AND YOU'RE STILL BOTH-his sign flipped over-SLOW FOR ME!

Kinma and Ranma got back to their feet. They looked at their transformed father, at each other, then at Genma-Panda again.

SMACK! BAM! POW!

WHY DO YOU TWO INGRATES-flip-ALWAYS TEAM UP-flip-AGAINST ME?

"Well Pop," Ranma began, "there's the Cat Fist training, the time you made us grab a raw steak that was hanging over a pit of hungry wolves,the time when I was eight you stole my rice crackers-,"

"There's also the inicident with the pigs," Kinma added. "And when I was 12 you stole my winnings from a poker game to bet on a race horse that came in dead last; when I was 13 I had to spend all my pool-hustling money to bail you out of jail; and when I was 15 you paid off a bunch of bill collectors with the yen that had taken me six months of blackmail to save up!"

Nabiki carelessy placed the kindling she'd gathered into the fire. "Exactly how did we get dragged into this, Akne?" she asked her sister, who was chopping wood with her bare hands.

_"While Saotome and his boys are training in the mountains it will be both of you girls' duty to take care of the cooking and all the cleaning." Soun Tendo told his daughters_

_Kasumi added, "It'll be great bridal taining for the both of you!"_

"Duty he says," Akane grumbled, "Bridal training she says."

"It's summer vacation and what are we doing?" Nabiki moaned. "There's no running water, we have to sleep in tents on futons I can feel the hard ground on, and mosquitos are all around me!" She swatted herself. "Shoo shoo!"

Akane put the logs she'd been chopping into the fire, then saw Nabiki gather up her towels and soap. "C'here Dollars, here boy!" Nabiki called, and the big gray dog trotted up from where he'd been napping with P-Chan.

"Where are you going?" Akane asked.

"There's a hot spring nearby. I'm going to take a bath, and Dollars is going to make sure Invisible Boy doesn't spy on me."

"But we've got to get dinner ready!"

"Unlike you Akane, I know I can't cook.

Happosai grinned in delight as she watched Nabiki undress herself. She was _very_ glad she decided to follow the others on this training journey. _If only I could join her, _she thought to herself. _Wait a minute. You're a girl now Happi-you CAN join her!"_

"Cannonball!" Nabiki blinked as she saw the pink haired little girl run and jump into the hot water spring with her.

"What are you doing in here!" Nabiki cried. "Dollars, get in here and get this pervert out!" The dog, however, only backed away from the spring and shook his head.

"Aw Nabiki," Happosai fluttered her big eyes and looked Nabiki square in the face, "What's wrong with two girls taking a bath together?"

"Because even if YOU have a little girl's body, there's still the mind of a dirty old man inside." Haposai's eyes only widened further. "Oh very well. You can stay. But no touching!"

She's making currey?" Ranma said as he, Kinma, and Genma got back to the camp. "Great!"

Kinma looked around. "Where's Nabiki?"

"She went off to that hot spring over yonder." Akane mumbled. "She doesn't care for cooking."

Akane ladled the curry into bowels. "Here, have some."

Ranma took a spoonful out of his bowel and sniffed. "It smells-interesting."

Akane smiled. "That's the white wine I used."

"Are you supposed to put that stuff in there?"

"Just shut up and eat."

Genma, Ranma, and Kinma all spooned the curry into their mouths, and gagged.

Nabiki heard the groans from camp and smiled. Akane never could cook anything decent. Nabiki couldn't cook herself, something she'd known since that home-ec teacher ate her cookies.

_In room 204b of the Tokyo Insane Asylum, Ms. Megumi Karahachi, formerly a home economic teacher for Furinkan High School, struggled inside her straitjacket. "Gummi Worms! Gummi Worms inside my head!" she screamed._ _"They're chewing on my brain!"_

Dollars wagged his tail as he watched Nabiki bathe. She was so lovely rubbing the soap over her body, and rinsing it off in the sulfer water.

Suddenly he sniffed something in the air. At first he thought it was the sulfer water, but then he realized it was something a bit different-that he'd smelled only four days ago.

He turned his head and saw Cologne balancing on her staff. "I saw what happened between you and Son-in-Law four days ago," she whispered in a voice so low Dollars only heard it because of his dog-ears. "If you want to beat both of them, there's a way I can teach you."

End of Chapter 21.

Okay, you probably know what's coming up next. Cologne is going to meet the new Happosai next chapter. How do you think she'll act?

And am I going too far with the Chinese eating dog jokes?

And Akane learns that P-Chan is Yoiko. How will she react?


	22. Old Ghoul Teaches a Young Dog

Ranma1/2 and all related characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Inc. No money is being made of their use in this work of fanfiction-otherwise I'd quit that hellhole I work at!

Chapter 22: The Breaking Point! An Old Ghoul Teaches A Young Dog A New Trick!

"Here, Ryoga," Cologne tapped the boulder by the river, "see if you can shatter this rock."

"No problem," said the bandannad boy. He raised his fist slammed it into the boulder. "How's that?" he asked.

"I said shatter, not split, you fool! Like this!" Cologne lightly tapped one of the split halves with the end of her staff, then the other. At first nothing happened, then all of a sudden they both crumbled into little pieces.

"Wha-what's that?" Ryoga asked

"An ancient technique over three thousand years old-the Breaking Point."

"If I learn that-I can defeat both Kinma and Ranma!" Ryoga's fangs made his smile look predatory. "I can have my revenge on both of those brothers!"

"Dollars!" Nabiki shouted from behind the trees. "Dollars! Where'd you run off too, you naughty dog."

Ryoga looked at Cologne and shrugged sheepishly. "Gotta run," he said, just before jumping into the stream and coming out as Dollars. Wagging his tail, the big dog ran off in the direction of Nabiki's voice.

"I told Pop we shouldn't have brought them," Ranma said as he and Kinma watched Genma-Panda eating bamboo.

"At least Nabiki doesn't try to cook," Kinma added. "Pop's lucky. When he's a panda he can eat the bamboo that grows around here." He then looked at his brother. "Why don't you cook instead? After all," and suddenly Ranma was splashed with a thermos full of cold water, "cooking IS women's work."

"Why you-!" Ranma-chan would have rushed her brother, but he poured the remainder of the Thermos's contents on himself. "Over here sis!" Kinma's voice called out. "No, over here! No, right behind you!"

Ranma looked all around her; her brother was nowhere to be seen. "KKKIIINNNMMMAAA!" she cried, "I hate it when you do that!"

Akane smiled as she saw P-Chan eat from the little plate of curry she set before her pet. "That's a good girl, she said. P-Chan bweed happily. _At least someone appreciates my cooking._

The little piglet rubbed her head against Akane and lifted her chin."What's this?" Akane picked P-Chan up and looked under her neck. "Looks like you've got some of my curry on you. We'll have to wash this right off." A gleam came to her eyes. "I know. We'll take a bath in that hot spring Nabiki found!"

P-Chan squirmed, but Akane held her tight in her grasp. "Oh no, you're going to get a good soak." Holding P-chan tightly in her arms, she walked over to the hot spring, and somehow manged to take off her clothes without letting go of her pet. "Now now, it won't be so bad," Akane said. _She probably just doesn't like the smell of the water. _"In you go," she said as she plunged her pet into the sulfuric water-then gasped when the pig suddenly turned into a naked thirteen year old girl with wearing a speckled yellow headband and her hair in twin black pigtails.

"Yoiko?"

Ranma-chan walked back to the camp. She knew there was a hot spring nearby, but from the sounds Akane was there already. Sighing, she filled a kettle with water from the nearby creek and set it above the fire.

It had just begun to steam when the kettle disappeared.

"KINMA!" she cried, "Cut that out!"

The kettle reappeared right next to Genma's tent. Ranma just about reached it, only for it to disappear again. "Kinma! When you get visible again, you're gonna be bedridden for a month!" The kettle showed again, than vanished. Ranma ran around in circles, seeing the kettle disappear then reappear somewhere else.

"C'mon, little bro!" Ranma heard her brother's voice follow at the edge of the forest. " just listen for my voice!"

"So that's it?" Akane said. "You followed Ranma, Kinma, and Mr. Saotome all the way to China? You fell into one of those springs that makes you turn into a pig, and nearly got eaten by Mr. Saotome?" Yoiko nodded. "Then you followed them back here, and got caught in a storm and that's when Ranma found you?"

"Yes." Now tears fell down Yoiko's face. "Oh Akane, I'm so sorry! You were so nice to me, and I was just so lonely! The only constant companion I've ever had was my brother and then Kinma-kun; with my sense of direction I've never even been able to attend school on a regular basis much less make any real friends, and being your pet meant I could also be close to-," suddenly she stopped.

"Close to who?" Akane asked. "To Kinma?" Yoiko nodded. "But why, after the way he treated you?"

"That wasn't Kinma-kun's fault! It was his idiotic father who pulled that phony engagement, and I was stupid enough to fall for it. Ranma helped me give Mr. Saotome what he deserved-Akane, I'm sorry again for taking advantage of you like that-."

"Don't be." Akane hugged Yoiko. "I fully understand why you would. But why do you want to be near Kinma-," Akane's voice trailed off when Yoiko looked down. "You love him, don't you?" The younger girl nodded. "But he blackmails people, he sells pictures of me and other girls to the perverts at school-..."

"What kind of people does he blackmail?" Akane paused as she thought about Yoiko's question. The people that Kinma blackmailed that she knew of where ones who'd cheated on their tests, secretly played hooky, had been doing drugs or some other misdeed that she felt deserved some karmic retribution. "And as for the pictures-think of how he grew up. That stupid old man of their's isn't much of a bread winner. Kinma had to get his hands on cash any way he could short of stealing-wherever that meant hustling pool, betting on fights-even his own-playing poker, or selling perverted photos."

Akane thought for several seconds, and then nodded. Now that she thought about it, most of the more objectionable traits she'd seen in the Saotome brothers seemed understandable.

"KINMA!" Ranma-chan called out. "You are so dead! No! When I get through with you, you'll WISH you were dead!" She'd been following the vanishing and reappearing kettle all around the forest. Each time she got close to it, it would disappear, only to show again a short distance away.

"There it is, little bro," Kinma's voice whispered into her ear. Ranma saw the kettle at the end of a clearing. "I aint touching it, so go ahead and take it." Carefully Ranma walked to the kettle. "Don't worry, I'm still here."

Suddenly Ranma stopped. "It's at the edge of the hot spring! Akane's there! And Yoiko!"

"Don't worry, you should be able to get a hold of it without them seeing you."

Quietly as she could, Ranma walked over to the kettle and reached down-

-and fell into the spring as the kettle leaped up into the air.

Akane and Yoiko went over to the sound of the splash. Akane suddenly felt something groping at her legs, then a wet Ranma-kun surfaced, gasping for air as he held on to her.

Ranma sighed in relief to find himself male again-then stepped away from the red aura emanating from Akane. "Rrraaanmmmaa! You pervert!"

"It-it's not what it looks like Akane; you've got to believe me-,"

"Ah geez." All three of them looked to a kettle full of hot water floating in mid air where they heard Kinma's voice. "I could have got some good scratch from a photo of you two hugging."

"Kinma!" Ranma yelled._ He must have tied a rope to the kettle handle and pulled it over a tree branch._

"I can't believe you two!" Akane shouted. "First Ranma tries to grope me and you want to take pictures to sell to perverts!" Now an enormous mallet mysteriously appeared in Akane's hands. "_Ranma no Baka!"_

Kinma watched as Akane slammed the enormous wooden hammer on his brother's head. _Where does she get that mallet from?_

A short distance away, Nabiki Tendo smiled. She had just managed a couple of snapshots just when Ranma surfaced and grabbed Akane; and she got another that showed Akane's breasts just as she raised the mallet. Kuno would pay big for that.

"Well, Dollars, she said as she patted the big wolf-dog's shoulders, "now go do your thing and get Kinma-baby into the picture." Dollars bounded off, sniffing in the air for the invisible boy. Nabiki nodded to herself. Now she'd get some of her own back against her fiancé.

She'd have to edit out the images of Yoiko. Though no doubt there would be a market, she just wouldn't cross the line to child pornography.

Kinma was so busy enjoying the scene that he didn't hear Dollars come up behind him-until he got a big bite in the behind. "Ye-owww!"

As Kinma screamed, Dollars head butted him into the spring. Kinma got to the surface to find his clothes soaked with sulfur water, visible-and an angry Akane glaring at him. "So, just looking isn't good enough for you? You've got to come into the spring with me!"

"No, Akane, it's not like tha-," Kinma stammered as Akane raised her mallet.

"KINMA NO BAKA!"

Dollars stood wagging his tail, careful not to get any of the hot spring's water splashed on him. Seeing those two brothers get malleted was about the best thing that happened to him since falling into that cursed spring.

Suddenly his sensitive dog-ears picked up something. Careful to make sure Nabiki wasn't looking, he

he ran off in the direction of the sound.

Cologne smiled to herself as the dog came running towards her. The old dog whistle the Chinese Amazons used to round up strays for the New Years feast had come in real handy.

Kinma groaned as he rubbed the bump on his head. "Where does she get that mallet from?"

"Who cares?" answered an irate Ranma. He, Kinma, Akane, and Yoiko were back at camp; Nabiki had seen Dollars missing and gone off to look for him. "You deserve it, for tricking me into the spring with Akane!"

"You both deserve it, for what you did!" Akane fumed at them. She was at the cooking pot, stirring what was left of the curry she'd made. "Ah, there. Have some Yoiko!"

"Thanks Akane!" Yoiko smelled it. "It smells kind of funny."

"Oh, I just added a few ingredients. Like white wine."

_Oh well, I liked it before so it should still be good. _Yoiko lifted the spoon to her mouth-and gagged. "AAAUUUGGGHHH!"

"What's wrong?" Akane asked. "You liked it before."

"Akane, do you ever taste that stuff before you serve it?" Ranma asked.

"No. Why?"

"I think you better."

Akane got herself a bowel and spooned some curry to her mouth. "That's terrible!" _The wine I used must have been sour!_

She rummaged through her bag of cooking ingredients. _Aha! Here's the wine bottle I used. _She turned the bottle to look at it's label. _Vinegar?_

Yoiko broke down into sobs. Kinma walked over to her. "What's the matter, Yoiko-chan?"

She looked up at Kinma, her eyes brimming with tears. "When I ate that stuff before, I was P-chan and I liked it. That means-it means that when I change, I really do become a pig!"

"Here, boy." Cologne stood on top of a boulder suspended from a tree branch. "Remember, look not with the eyes but with the mind. See with the mind's eye."

"I got you," replied Ryoga. He was suspended across from the boulder by the same rope draped over the tree branch. _I'm doing this for you, Nabiki._

"Ready?" Ryoga nodded. "All right then-Now!" Cologne swung back her weight, and the boulder flew towards the boy. Ryoga held out his right index finger...

And got slammed in the face by the boulder.

"IDIOT!" Cologne yelled. "See with the mind and not with the eyes." She leaped up onto the boulder touched it with her own taloned finger.

The boulder disintegrated.

Cologne looked at Ryoga. "If you cannot mast this, the simplest of techniques, you haven't got a chance of beating those two! Now, again!"

"A good thing that girl Yoiko knows how to cook," Genma said as he leaped at Ranma. "Otherwise, I'd have to be eating nothing but bamboo!"

"Why? I thought you liked bamboo!" Ranma dodged his father's swipe, then kicked him in the stomach. As Genma staggered, Ranma then swept a kick between his legs and elbowed Genma in the back, sending him face first to the ground.

"Hooray!" Ranma looked and saw Happosai come up and clap her hands. "I couldn't have done half as well when I was your age!"

Ranma looked down at the pink-haired girl. _She acts so cute and girly, I can hardly believe she used to be a a dirty old man. Is because she's stuck that way and trying to make the best of it, or has it really gotten to her mind? And if it's the latter, then what's the curse going to do to ME?_

There was nothing he could do about it. Except of course be glad he got to be male most of the time at least.

Happosai looked up at Ranma. "You're so strong and manly, Ranma!" She leaped up and nuzzled him. Ranma groaned, not sure of what to do.

"Who's the little girl?" Ranma and Happosai looked and saw Cologne come out from behind a bush.

"Why'de you want to know you old prune?"asked Happosai in her most sarcastic voice, which still sounded unbelievably cute.

"Never mind. I'm here to give this to you and your brother." Cologne bounded on her staff to Ranma and handed him a slip of paper.

_To Ranma and Kinma, _the paper read, _I challenge you both to a match tomorrow. I will take you both on at once and give you what you deserve for the hell you two have put me and my sister through!_

Kinma came up to Ranma from camp. "Well, well, if it isn't the old ghoul?"

Ranma showed Kinma the letter of challenge. The older brother whistled. "He isn't thinking small, is he?"

"I'll say. He thinks he can take on the two of us at once, does he?" Ranma turned back to Cologne. "Tell him we accept!"

All this time, Happosai had been looking at the old Chinese crone. Something about that staff, the style of her clothes, the way she carried herself-, "You're Cologne of the Chinese Amazons, aren't you?"

"And how would you know that, little girl?"

"Oh yes, after that encounter I had a while back with the Musk Dynasty at Jusenkyo, of course you wouldn't recognize me," the pink-haired girl giggled. "It's me-Happi!"

Cologne's eye went as wide as saucers as she stared at the little girl who had once been the little troll of a man she knew in her youth. She stared for several seconds and then set what should have made the Guinness book of records for the longest fit of hysterical laughter.

"HEY!" Akane Tendo cried down. She and Nabiki were tied together and suspended hanging from a tree branch overhanging a field by a waterfall. The blue-black haired girl was staring down at Cologne, who was standing on a boulder by the root of the tree. "What was the meaning of this, grabbing us in our sleep and tying us up like this!"

Cologne seemed not to notice as she looked first to Ranma and Kinma on her left and then Ryoga on her right. "Here me now. The outcome of this match is the matter of the engagements of the Saotome Brothers to the Tendo sisters. If they win, nothing changes. But if they lose, the engagements are void, and Kinma and Ranma both agree to marry my great-granddaughters Shampoo and Conditioner. Do you agree?" Ranma and Kinma looked at each other and gave reluctant nods. "Further, Kinma, do you promise on your honor not to become invisible during the match?"

Kinma glared at the ancient Amazon, then dipped his head. "I promise."

"Oh, joy," Nabiki drolled as she rolled up her eyes, "we get to be the prize in this fight."

Of to the side of the field Yoiko stood with Genma-Panda and Happosai. She looked anxiously from Kinma to Ryoga and back. She never saw her brother give such a wolfish grin, not even when he was a dog.

"Boy Ryoga, you sure got a lot of nerve, trying to take us both on at once," Ranma said as he crossed his arms. "Why not simply fight me alone? At least against just one you can put up a good fight."

"Enough, Ranma. I'm going to take both of you out at the same time-with this!" Ryoga rushed at the two brothers, who simply stepped aside. Ryoga's two index fingers slammed into a boulder right behind them-and exploded.

"Yowza," Nabiki whistled. "That's some technique he's got."

Ryoga turned and grinned at Ranma and Kinma. "Now you see?"

"Man oh man, if he touches us like that, we're done for Kinma."

Kinma whipped out his staff. "Let's just get him before he can little bro."

Ryoga rushed, finger extended, at the older Saotome brother. Quickly, Kinma stuck his staff between

Ryoga's legs and flipped him. Ryoga somersaulted in the air, then landed on his feet. "Not bad, Saotome," he flashed a fanged grin, "but how long can you keep that up?"

_He's right! _Kinma thought. _That guy's stronger than I am and I don't have Ranma's agility. _His hands tightened on his staff. _I'll just have to use what I've got!_

"Hey Hibiki, how about this?" He concentrated on the Spitting Cat Hairs, soon multiple images of himself surrounded Ryoga. "Can you tell which one is the real me?"

Ryoga swung at one image, only to pass right through it. The real Kinma's staff struck the side of his head and then swept between his legs again. "Now Ranma!"

"CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"Ranma roared as he ran up and punched Ryoga twenty times in the stomach.

Ryoga only laughed. "You can't hurt me like that!" He slammed his finger down again-onto the flat rock in the ground they were standing on."

Ranma and Kinma both managed to jump through the blast unharmed. Ranma looked at the cloud of dust and blinked. "You think he made it?"

The dust cleared and standing right there, his shirt slightly tattered, was Ryoga, grinning as before. "Now do you get it? Now matter how many times you trip me, no matter how many times either of you flip me through the air, I'll still keep coming, until I've beaten you."

"That's it!" Akane said. "That type of training he had to do-it must have made him incredibly tough! And Ranma and Kinma, they can't dodge forever; they'll wear themselves out!"

Nabiki looked down from where she and Akane were hanging. "Looks like Ranma and Kinma-baby are in real trouble."

The two brothers looked at each other. "I guess it's time for us to use that Saotome Secret Technique," said Kinma.

Ranma nodded. "Okay. I hate to use it, but, ready, set-," they braced themselves as if to face Ryoga-, "RUN AWAY!"

The two ran off in opposite directions away from the fighting ground. Cologne looked in the direction they had gone, her eyes wide. "WHAT are they doing?"

"Ha ha ha ha!" Happosai laughed. "It's that Saotome Secret Technique Genma came up with when he was training under me." The little girl who used to be an old man calmed herself. "It's founded on three basic principles-motion, contemplation, and strategy."

"In other words," Yoiko said as she turned to Genma-Panda, "run away to buy yourself time to think of something better to do?!"

Genma-panda nodded and held up a sign. THAT'S IT!

Akane roared down from the rope "What kind of secret technique is that!"

"Apparently one Mr. Saotome would come up with," put in Nabiki.

_Good._ Kinma thought as he saw Ryoga run after Ranma. _Dog boy thinks he'd first take care of Ranma, then me._ He'd already thought of a plan, as soon as he thought to use the Saotome Secret technique. It would be a long shot, but if his assumption was correct, it would pay off big time. And Kinma Saotome, if nothing else, was a gambler.

"Come back here and fight me you coward!" Ryoga yelled as he chased after Ranma. _Man I hate to do this, but I've got no choice, _the pigtailed boy thought. He jumped up into a tree and bent a branch backwards with his weight-.

-and leaped back back at Ryoga, his foot slamming into the lost boy's stomach. Ryoga slammed black into another tree. "He he," he laughed, "that felt like a baby's kick."

"CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!" Ranma struck again, not twenty but fifty times. Still, Ryoga just stood there. _I've only got about 100 punches left!_

"Mr. Saotome, you're the lamest excuse for a martial arts master I've ever met!" Yoiko yelled at the panda. I can't believe of all the lame techniques I've seen, that Saotome secret technique has got to be the lamest!"

"Excuse me, Nabiki called, "but could you people please stop arguing and get me and Akane down from hear?"

Suddenly an arrow cut the rope halfway through. "Pop, Yoiko, old ghoul, I suggest you help catch them as I finish cutting the rope." Kinma set another arrow into his bow and pulled it back to his ear. He released,and the shaft cut through the rope completely. The two Tendo sisters fell to the ground, and were caught in the outstretched arms of the panda.

"All right, anyone tell me where Ranma and Ryoga went? I just went back to camp to pick up these." He held out his bow and touched the strap of his quiver.

Yoiko looked at Kinma. "You're not going to shoot Ryoga, are you? I mean, even if he's a stubborn thick head he IS still my brother."

"Don't worry," replied Kinma. "I'm not going to shoot AT Hibiki."

_Oh man, I'm in for it, _Ranma said to himself as he dodged another attempt by Ryoga to touch him with the breaking point. None of his attacks seemed to hurt the lost boy; it was as if Ryoga came from the planer Krypton.

Suddenly an arrow hit the tree right above Ranma. "Ranma!" Kinma cried out. "Ranma move him away. Over there!"

Ranma looked for a second and saw his brother run up through the forest. Kinma had his bow and quiver of arrows with him. He was pointing to a large mountain rock wall with an arrow. "Over there!"

Ranma leapfrogged over Ryoga's head, and ran towards the mountain wall. "Running away again, are you!" Ryoga called as he ran after him.

Ryoga had just reached the rock wall when his left sleeve got pinned to the mountain by a an arrow.

Looking he saw Kinma before his other sleeve to the rock-then his pants legs, and finally emptied his quiver shooting into right above Ryoga's head.

Ryoga tore himself loose from the arrows pinning him. "Boy was that pathetic! You had me pinned and then you miss all your shots!" All of a sudden, he became aware of a faint crackling right behind him-and then the mountain collapsed into rubble on top of him.

Kinma smirked. "I wasn't aiming at YOU, Hibiki."

Akane, Nabiki, Yoiko, Genma-panda, Happosai and Cologne came running up the forest. "Ry-Ryoga? Is he all right?"

Yoiko dug underneath the rubble and pulled her brother out. She felt his wrist, then his forehead. "You don't need to worry. My brother's got the thickest skull of anyone in our family. It WOULD take a mountain just to knock him out."

Cologne bounded up on her gnarled staff. "Oh my, such a shame too. Here I was hoping he would beat the two of you and then I'd have you for my granddaughters." She looked at Kinma. "I must congratulate you though. Not only have you figured out the breaking point technique, you thought of a whole new way to do it! In all the five thousand years of our tribe's history no one ever considered combining it for archery. You truly are the man for Conditioner!"

"Wait a minute!" Ranma stepped in between Kinma and Cologne. "What was the idea teaching an idiot like Ryoga such a dangerous technique anyway."

"You mean this little breaking point?" Cologne tapped Ranma on the forehead with her forefinger. She cackled as the pigtailed boy fell over backwards. "The breaking point was designed for work in the quarries or to demolish old buildings; it only works on inanimate objects like rocks or metal or ceramic. It can't hurt people." She looked down at the quivering Ranma. "Did you hear what I just said. It can't hurt people!"

Kinma looked down at his brother. "I don't think he hears you."

The Saotomes and the Tendo sisters spent the next day packing up the camp to head back to Tokyo.

Akane cradled P-Chan in her arms after she finished putting way her tent. "Don't worry," she said. "Even though I know who you are, you still have a place with me until we can figure out what to do about your situation."

Nabiki walked over to Akane. "Akane, have you seen Dollars? I've been looking all over for him, and I can't find him anywhere?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure that mangy mutt will turn up sooner or later," Kinma said out from where he was rolling up his tent.

Suddenly a couple of barks came from the edge of the woods. "Dollars!" Nabiki rushed over and hugged the big wolf dog around the neck. "I'm going to have to keep you on a chai-stop it, you're breath stinks!" she said as Dollars licked her face.

Akane looked over at Nabiki, and was tempted to tell her what she figured out-that 'Dollars' was really Ryoga under a Jusenkyo curse. Then she shook her head. It was just to funny, something like this happening under the very nose of her usually well informed sister.

"Well look who's showed up." Kinma muttered. He walked over to Nabiki and Dollars. The dog stuck out his tongue at the ponytailed boy. As Kinma whacked the dog on the side with his staff, Nabiki stood up and glared at her fiance.

SLAP!

End of Chapter 22

Sorry I took so long to update. I just got lazy.


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